PART I

It was exactly a decade ago today.

My boss finally granted the 2 week break we filed. Everyone inside our office celebrated. They got to go here, go there, stay here, stay there. I am the only one who seems to be so unhappy with the posted memo.

Where should I go?

Aha. I will just spend by binge watching my timeless favorite series— F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

After a very long time, I've decided to have a vacation in my province.I packed my luggages already. Not that much for a one week trip. Besides, I will be staying in the capital city to easily go for many destinations. Funny to think that I don't have connections with people who live in my hometown.

Schedule confirmed, tickets are ready. I composed myself before the day of the flight.

"Whatever you will see, remember that you are in your peaceful haven now."

Too early than my alarm, but I maximized the time and prepared early than the usual. Then after some routines, I finally went to the airport. I was honesly hesitant to continue this vacation, but for the sake of my one week break from work, I pushed through. Throughout the flight, my mind could not stay calm. My hands were shaking, my heart started to beat so fast.

"Am I ready?" I asked my self before stepping down at the airport. That was an almost 4 hour trip. But felt like ten minutes for me. The air seems so familiar. The vibe, the city lights. It all came back. His memory came back.

I headed to the hotel where I booked. This will be my home for seven consecutive days —if I will survive the straight seven days. The baked salmon I ate was a blast. Enough to calm my mind from the chaotic thoughts that running through inside it.

Tick..tock..tick..tock.

10:09 pm

...

11:12 pm

...

12:34 am

Why does it so hard to sleep? Does my conscience ghosting me? Did I made the wrong choice? I thought this vacation would help me to process the unresolved things I left from the past. But why does it seems too challenging?

-

I've tried to search for my first destination. Alright, I'd go for a food galore. Packed up my essentials and left. These food never disappoint me. They brought nostalgia in my heart. They taste sweetness—but also bitterness from the good times. If before, there is someone I eat with, now I am eating this all alone.

Day two, nothing too special. I laid down by the whole day and enjoyed the beauty of the view. The greens. Every little thing reminds me of him. I remember, we used to go for a countryside trip where there are greens—because he said it relaxes him. Thankful of the curtains, I pulled them down and went back to sleeping.

I am now wearing a swimwear. Obviously, I will go to a beach. In my surprise, many changes had gone in this resort. The kubos are not here anymore. The pool was enlarged. The entrance was now painted. Recalling our good times together, I did not notice that I am now dancing with the waves. The cold water gives chill inside my bones. I suddenly let go with the flow. Wherever the wave brings me, so be it. I lost the eagerness to stand and find a peaceful spot. I enjoyed it anyway. But there's something missing. His warmth is missing. I felt like I was slapped by the fact that he is not with me.

I've asked myself for the nth time.

Should I still continue this? Anytime soon, I can book a flight ticket way back home if I wanted to. But there's something in me that keeps telling to finish the seven days.

And I chose to listen to that little voice.

Day four continued. I wake up with a heavy dream. I saw him. I saw him again but this time, he was with another lady. I did not imagine that an overnight imagination can bring a huge pain in real life. Unbearable. I decided to go to an old museum.

Where everything started.

--

To be continued.

xx