Personal reasons why I don't engage in dating.
**September 10, 2o22**
" **You're at the age that you start finding a husband candidate already**"
I can tell this has been the usual phrase me and my eldest sister receive the moment we reach our three decades stay in this world. Now that my sister is in a relationship and even introduce her partner to the family, it came down to only me receiving such care from the judgmental relatives. This is why I hate gatherings ugh
One particular event was earlier when we have the sendoff of the Mama Mary relic to my cousin's house in early hour at three in the morning. I mostly participate these church events back in my school days but after I started working, I barely got the chance to join because of my schedule. And earlier I got the chance to join, and the chance also to be one of the main topics of gossips from the people who attended. So people don't expect that most religious people don't talk shit about other, because they're also human who loves doing these kinds of things even though they're serving, excuse to the loyal and reserved.
In my age and status of life, dating has never been part of it. Not that I have high standard or what, but because it didn't come to mind actually about me being committed and tied to another person aside from my son and my family. Another reason is because the man I would meet might misunderstand my characteristics as a mere tadpole lurking in a sea of entertainment mainly to my likes.
****My Characteristics****
***Lazy aff***
Even though I need to do a lot of tasks, there are times, or most of the times I just want to lay down on my mattress and take a long nap in a duration of 4 to 6 hours lol! If I start being lazy it would last for two days, the most where I don't want to do anything but just sleep and sleep and of course sleep.
No man would love to engage to a lazy person right so being lazy is part of me and I think it's one of the biggest turns off.
***noEngage in nurturing my son and my nieces***
No men would love a single mom and I prefer teaching the kids than go on dates. Now that the kids are going to school I want to be at my best in guiding them as they are still in their learning phase and with this face to face rather than modules, I want them to have more fun than being stress.
***Spends free time reading book***
There are men who loves to read a book but mostly they were called nerds or at my age they are already called professionals like teachers and scientists.
As a mere human being who simply exits in the world but still loves to read, I mostly read a book once or twice a week. I haven't read the ones I currently ordered, and I plan to read them before I got busy again or if ever, I got accepted in a job. Reading is a habit I can't put out in my system so if a man knows that and if we don't engage with the same hobby, it is still a NO for me.
***Reading manga/ manhwa***
Marriage of Convenience, how to get my husband on my side, I became the daughter of the Duke, A Business Proposal, Bromance, 19 Days
These are most of the manga/manhwa I am currently reading and is still ongoing.
Though most women my age would prefer Wattpad or some audio app, I prefer reading these as it entice my imagination on things and stirs up my emotions. There are instances where I would pick a series base on my mood, if I want to cry myself of frustration I would read a genre that would definitely break my heart and would let me cry my heart out and if I want humor I would click those series who will let me laugh my heart out every chapter.
Not many men my age would read manga and most of the men I know think of it as a mere childish hobby.
***Loves anime and am in love with most of the characters.***
They say anime are for children, but I would strongly contradict on that part.
Maybe Doraemon would an example but not that really of a type to let your child wander around and just puts out anything from their pockets thinking they are doraemon who can give Nobita all that he needs.
Baki, Flame of Reeca, Ghost Fighter
These are the ones I enjoyed in my childhood days, but they were mostly fighting so preferably they are not suitable for kids.
I heard one of my close friends told me why waste my time watching anime when I can enjoy my time outdoors and hang out with them. Well, we have different personalities and I happen to love anime and am hook with the character development every episode than talking about the outside world.
***Don't go outside the house unless necessary***
Doing groceries and go on interviews and also taking the kids to school are mostly my time I am seen outside the house.
I don't usually go out unless necessary as I prefer being indoor and in my room.
Honestly, it's okay for me to date, it's just that it's not my cup of tea to mingle with other people and I mostly want myself to be alone than engage in a conversation that I would bore myself a minute they start taking nonsense.
These are only my personal reasons.
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
It's a beautiful day tp be happy. A smile worth a million for she's in a very good mood this morning..
The sky can still calm your heart.
**September 08, 2022**
Before anything else I just want to great the great mother of all
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA MARY
The past few days of my absence here is because I went to another series of interviews, examinations and assessments and mostly they would tell me that I'm overqualified or they're looking for a person who are skilled in such process or system.
I admit travelling cost me a lot and I don't want to keep borrowing but my parents insisted on giving me everything as it's the only way they could help me find a job for they knew how restless I am at home.
Honestly, having no job and income is hard and I kept on making myself busy by tending to the kids and helping at home, but I want to work already, and my parents know that.
Getting disappointed is not really what I usually feel but with being stressed of not yet still finding a job, I was kind of on edge and mostly emotional with everything.
My plan the other day was to stay in my sister's boarding house as I have another interview the next day. I already told her beforehand about me going to her b.house and she already seen my message, so I expected that she already knows I'm coming after my interview.
After my interview I messaged her that I didn't get the work as they prefer those with backers, and I was just unlucky to have the job. I also told her that I'm on my way to her house. I didn't get a response, so I assume that she left the key to the landlady but when I came to their apartment, she didn't give the key to the landlady.
I messaged her again but still no response. After an hour she called me and nag at me about not informing a little earlier. I told her that I messaged her the other night and she seen the message so I thought she already knew that I will be coming over.
She told me that she will be going home late as she already made an appointment and it will take long. Downcast as I am, I just told her that I will just go home and will go back tomorrow for another interview.
She misunderstood it and hung up the phone and messaged me again. I didn't respond with the actual message instead I told her that I'm already on the bus going home. I put my phone in " Do not Disturb" mode and slept on the bus while listening to music on my headset.
I messaged Mum that I will just go home without giving her the reason why I change my mind. Instead of asking she just said OKAY and told me to call if I'm already in the city so Papz can pick me up.
I really want to cry but I just hold it in. Having no good results after spending for transportation and also ended up not able to enter my sister's room and also having my sister misunderstands me just pile up that I really want to burst into tears, but I just hold it in as I'm still on the bus.
Papz's already there when I arrived and even gave me an ice cream. We sat in his motor seat while eating our ice cream ( sorbetes ). Papz even told me that finding work as of the moment is really hard and they understand my frustrations, he also told me not to worry about anything as they are willing to let me have my rest while waiting for the opportunity of work. Papz even told me that they are more worried about me having a breakdown, so they kept on checking on me. I don't really deserve such parents.
I came home to this stunning beauty of the sky, and it really did calm me internally.
Ahhhhh the sun always rises and sets, so as my destiny, after having no work I know one day an opportunity will come to me and I just have to be patience in waiting while creating more memories with my son for a while.
I've been meaning to write every day, but circumstances arise, and my mind kept on pondering on when will I get to work already, aigoooo
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
First post to this new noise would be food.
What a coincidence!
**September 05, 2022**
Olah!
Happy Monday everyone!!
I've been busy the whole day and I can't believe I finished the task at home and even got myself a little me time and also took a nap (5 minutes) even though I had a lot on my plate for the day.
So early morning, since it's my turn to take the kids to school, I need to wake up early and prepare the kids. Mostly I had a hard time fixing the girls than my son as I need to do their hair and mind you, they both have curly hair especially the second niece and I remember one time I cut her hair as I can't take it anymore (grabe naman kasi yung pagkabuhol) and I ended up getting an earful from Mum because of that. So, I need to patiently comb their hair and put some ponytails on to make them look human.
My niece often told us that they prefer me preparing them to school than their Mum, well I don't like lousy people so I need them to be attentive and I don't call their names the second time for another snap in the forehead will happen. We do the preparations not shouting or not even telling what to do as I already prepared everything. The reason I prepared everything because last week my sister is really shouting and getting on my nerves because it's too early to scold the kids and it's better to put them in a good mood before going to school than scolding them. So, I prepare, and they just need to take a bath, eat their breakfast, toothbrush, put on their uniform and wait for their hair to be fixed. I don't want to rush them, so I opted to wake them a little earlier. So, by quarter to seven, we're already on our way to school so that they can also have time to have some vitamins from Mr. Sun.
(The source of my title)
While going to the school gate, there were already students in line to enter the school and they need to log their name in the guardhouse, so we waited in line, and I was checking the kid's things when someone tap me on the shoulder. When I look at the back I was surprised as the person who tap me was my ex (my pers lab) I guess I mentioned about him way back last year Hehe
He then smiled and say good morning and I am really thankful of my face mask as it hides the grin on my face. Ah! What a coincidence I say to myself. But I just not and smile at him as I don't know what to say. His daughter is two years ahead of my son and she looks just like him. I really never thought that we would be meeting in such a place hahah.
So, we entered the school premises, and we roam around the area while waiting for their teachers and I was listening to my son and my niece memorizing the numbers 1-100 and I was just telling them the right pronunciation and so on.... and then I also capture some leaves with droplets on it, the rain really did pour a lot of last night. I don't know how to capture droplets, so I opted to just snap and snap...
I just love looking at the droplets and all
I took it using a bokeh feature on my phone camera and I love the one seat apart of the droplets as they just don't want to be infected with virus from other droplets lol!!
The sampaloc tree near the kid's roam is really big and I remember way back elementary days that I am one of those kids who love climbing this big of a tree whenever there's fruits from it and I love to mess with the other boys who don't know how to climb...
After sending the kids to school, I came back quarter to eight and then prepared Papz' breakfast and coffee for he needs to go to work at eight.
A little later, Mum and my baby niece Alex also woke up so I served Mum's coffee and my niece's breakfast too alongside her milk. I was also preparing the ingredients for lunch as I need to do the laundry without the help of the washing machine to save electricity consumption.
Washing clothes and also bathing my niece and washing the dishes and then making lunch.
Past 11 and the I need to get the kids from school, so I give the baby to Mum and get the kids. Then when Papz arrived so we eat our lunch and then I need to continue the laundry while the kids had their siesta.
I actually finished at three in the afternoon because I need to clean the refrigerator also, so I rest a bit beside my son and then minutes later Mum called me to take turn watching over my niece as she'll be transferring the already dry clothes as it looks like it will rain, and true to that a few minutes later it started raining, oh I so love to go back to sleep beside my son.
Summer also had her time resting and I am just messing with her to play with me as the kids were still sleeping.
All in all, I am busy but having to accomplish a lot of work seems satisfying to me as I get to help Mum lessen her workload here at home. And the kids being cooperative means a lot to me.
Did you also have a very busy yet productive Monday?
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
Him meeting the parents and my initial reaction
**September 04, 2022**
Last night my oldest sister messaged me that she'll be coming home, and she'll bring a friend...
I tease her if it's a boyfriend or not, she just responded with a smiley face, so I had my guess and I told my mom and my elder sister too and I told them my sister doing the impossible by bringing a boyfriend at home makes me happy alongside worrying if it's the right one for her.
If you're wondering why we were making a fuss about our oldest sister having to bring a boyfriend is because we've been telling her to find a suitable partner as she's not getting young anymore.
She kept on backfiring these issues at me given that I also don't have a partner on my own and I have a child, but those topics are not my kind of topic, so I always have my way in changing it.
Saturday evening, my sister and her boyfriend came home with hands full of groceries and food, bribery, and my parents welcome the man my sister introduced as her partner into our little household.
The meeting usually starts with introduction, name age and the likes. I also went out the living room when my sister called for me to introduce to the man.
Honestly, I met a lot of people and also men all through my life and even in the construction company I worked mostly with men on and off site. And by the looks of the man, I was introduced with I can tell that he may have made a lot of women cried because of heartbreak. I certainly told this myself that surely my sister is NBSB at her age and her choosing a fine man might complicate her life and might break her in the long run, but I didn't plan to tell my judgement out loud as I am in no position to judge him just by his looks only.
I also make this a big deal for I know how soft my sister is especially to those who are close to her heart. Even though she's a happy go lucky type of woman but she never lets herself enter in a relationship as she loves travelling and enjoying her youth doing what she loves most.
After the introduction, he joined us for dinner, and we were really cramped in our little table because there are a lot of food served that our own plate can't put space. The dinner went on with all the talked about the man's life and they seem to be enjoying their talk, but I only focus on feeding my son and the nieces and also finished mine too. I am really not interested in their conversation even though I told Mum that I am excited to meet the man my sister will be bringing.
They drank wine at the living area after dinner while I went to our room, and I can really hear Mum said to the guest that I am a kill joy kind of person lol!
Sunday came and I thought the guest would be returning home first thing in the morning. But I kept hearing him and my sister's voice in the kitchen and it feels like they were preparing breakfast. Good thing that my son woke up late, so I won't need to appear at breakfast too as I am really too awkward being around with the guest.
When I went out of the room, they went to the supermarket to buy something for lunch so I though the man would be here in the house for the whole day and deym I'm right for they only went home just this evening for they have work tomorrow.
And literally after they have gone off, my parents' attention was unto me saying when I will introduce a man also. I guess next life would be the best schedule for that.
I don't want my sister to get hurt and I want only happiness be coming in her way and being in a relationship for sure they will come in contact with trouble and misunderstandings. If destiny will come at them and tell that they're the ones for each other, I am just here to support my sister's happiness.
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
Talking with a stranger but I felt at ease
**September 03, 2022**
Honestly being a loner is one of my best masks whenever I'm with a crowd and it made me feel at ease when no one's talking to me as I always felt nervous whenever someone instantly walk right to me and started talking, but it made a huge change yesterday during one of my job hunting.
I have a scheduled interview and assessment yesterday morning and the nervousness I felt whenever I have interviews always came back to me the moment I arrived at the place where I will be having my interview.
It was located on the 5th floor of the building, so I need to take up the elevator, as I was waiting for it to open a bunch of youngsters probably senior high fresh graduates were with me in the elevator. They kept talking regarding the interview, so I expect we were going to the same direction.
As we enter, we were told to fill up the attendance sheet and to sit on available chairs as there were ahead of us already having their interviews. I roam my eyes and my guess that it's an agency by the looks of it. I look over to the one having their interview only to be shocked that they were not interviewed individually but they were four of them being interviewed in one go. I fiddled with my hands thinking what the other reactions will be if we will be interviewed together, I don't want to stutter but I guess it's a given in my state or so I say. The interview went well, and we were told to go back to our seats and wait to call our name for another individual interview. It's the nth time already that I have engage in interviews and I still stumble on the words I utter. The interviewee then told me that they'll be the one to recommend us to other companies base on our background.
When I was called to take my assessment, I was really nervous, and I remember the past assessments which I failed because of my nervousness. I need to reset my mind and think of the words my sister told me, to have a positive mindset, and let my mind do the work.
The moment I sat on the separate chair for the assessment I was really laughing at myself. I've been through this many times so no need to be on edge again, so I answer the first set with ease but when the voice test again this little voice really made me feel like I am not really fit for the job. After it was the typing test, I have my confidence on my typing skills but not with my hands being heavy. Tapping the keyboard faster and it's really noisy that the other applicants near my seat look my way lol!!! Can't blame them for I am really noisy when it comes to typing.
After the assessment I went back to my seat and wait for the staff to call my attention again. I sat beside a woman maybe on her twenties and she kept looking everywhere like a lost cat. I didn't mind them and just look at my phone.
" Is this your first time applying in a call center company?"
I thought the woman next to me was talking to the guy on the back but when I look up, she was looking at me.
" Yeah, it's my first time"
She then smiled and went back to checking her files, I was also scrolling at my phone gallery. But then she taps me again and ask if I'm an anime fan or have been watching anime on my spare time, I didn't get to answer back because she told me she saw my screen saver which is Levi Ackerman of Attack on Titan. And since it's a first for me to encounter a person who had the same taste with me in anime and also an EXO fan that I was able to talk to her.
Talking about anime and also EXO and then we were called to be transfer to the main recruitment pub. We were both selected alongside three others for the final interview. We kept talking about anime and our favorite characters. I forgot that I finished Naruto and her talking about their characters remind me of the time when I was crying over Master Jeraya's death lol!!
The queue of the applicant in the main hub is quite many and the process took longer but we didn't mind waiting as we were enjoying our conversation.
FYI, we never get to introduce each other but she really did share some of her personal struggle and I ask why she is sharing such an important phase in her life to a stranger. She just shrugged and told me that she felt at ease talking with me, same with me too as I feel at ease even though we only met that day.
After the interview, I told her that I will be leaving first as my Boss was waiting for me at the office for some files. She then thanked me for the time we talked, and she didn't feel lonely being a first-time applicant as she get to talked to someone, I also thanked her for her time and for the laughter.
This is really a first for me as I mostly don't talk to anyone especially on first encounter.
Talking to a stranger makes me nervous but me meeting and talking to that person really made me feel at ease and I conclude that it's not that bad talking hehehe.
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
Job Interviews, Assessments and Anxieties
**September 01, 2022**
How are you guys?
It's been a couple of days since my last update here as I was busy with offline works. I've been finding work left and right, going through job sites and finding suitable works that would fit my experiences.
To be honest it's really hard finding work and the waiting also frustrates me as I can't do anything but wait for results.
Just this week, I already received interview schedules and gone through exams and assessments and honestly my nervousness and the feeling of like being new into going through interviews and exams really hits me.
Earlier I had my interview as a store head manager. Before going on my interview, I ran a background check on the company. At first, I thought it's a networking company as their products are food supplements but as I read it all they seem to be not engaging in networking schemes.
I also did some reference check and also checking some questions that the interviewee might ask. When I arrived at the place for the interview there are already two waiting to be interviewed. I just kept quiet and continued checking some questions and possible answers while listening to the other two talking about getting some job offers.
I admit I am very timid and easily get intimidated with other people that's why I don't engage much so I just listens to them, and it made me belittle myself more and more. I didn't graduate college as I only study until the first semester on my second year as I preferred working already than studying so listening to them makes me hopeless on the position that we were scheduled for interview.
When it was my turn for the interview my anxiety attacks again and it made me want to back out on the interview as I felt like vomiting, and I feel nauseous already. I was determined to go back home when the interviewee ask for my presence and said not to be afraid as she doesn't bite.
The interview was really very light, and it seems like I was just talking to a casual friend. We talked about my past work and my experiences, and she talks about the company like it's really simple to understand and she kept telling me not to feel burdened as she's making the conversation as light as possible as she doesn't want me to be agitated, maybe it was shown in my face, and it made me felt ashamed as I really didn't have confidence at all.
The exam was done in between the interview and honestly the questions are really easy as I have experiences with purchasing and administrative works. It seems like the interview/examiner was quite satisfied with the results, so she kept on talking to me after the exams. Looking at my resume and then asking me questions.
The one thing that made me annoy of myself is my voice. I can't speak loudly, and the interviewee needs to sit closer to me just to hear me. She even asks me about my age even though it's already stated in my resume. Dang! This little voice of mine is one of my downfalls sometimes. The assessment also followed right after, and she told me I was fit for the job except one thing. I need to engage in sales, and it means I need to go out and introduce the product to people mostly those who were working out and I need to bring a lot of equipment on site which it not what I expected as I thought I only need to handle the branch but the need to go out and introduce the product to many people face to face is really not my forte.
She quite understands my side, looking at my resume, I am more skilled in office work than engaging clients mostly crowd of people.
Going out from the office site where I was interviewed it made me think that finding job that match your experience is somewhat hard especially during these days. And commuting from one place to another is also an addition to my anxiety. I've been traveling back and forth to engage with interviews and exams and it's really troublesome.
I can't just sit still and wait for the food to be placed in front of me, so I kept on applying online, sending my resumes and application to companies that's looking for admin assistant or even purchasers as I am quite used to those field of work.
Tomorrow, I also need to attend to an early examination and also an interview on the other one. Travelling from home to the city is very costly and a broke me always suffers. I don't want to trouble my parents more so I am desperately looking for a job so that I can help them not trouble them. My son kept on pestering me of the things he wants to do while I'm at home, but my mind already wanders on the possible job offers that would be open for me.
In the past few days that I'm at home, it really bothers me as I am getting used to seeing my son every time I wake up and having coffee with my parents and then seeing Papz off work. Being used to the daily routine at home scares me as I don't want to be permanently living in luxury while Papz was the one working instead of me. My parents pamper me even though I don't have work which really hurt my pride, but I didn't show them those emotions as I don't want them to misunderstand me.
Mum told me to rest for a couple of months, but I can't do that. Now that my son is already studying, I need to work harder and the need for a job is a must for me.
These pressures really did not do good to me as I kept on failing every time I apply, or it must be because I lack the knowledge to do so.
I just want to scream as I am really frustrated having no work and having of no help to my parents at all. I kept troubling them and it's really unhealthy.
Reality sucks once you got nothing left on you.
@mommykim
Let's take it easy
**August 24, 2022**
***"I hate this, home chores are not for me, I'm bored, I want to work already, having zero balance is stressing me out"***
*Captured it earlier while carrying my niece for some shade under the sun early in the morning for some Vitamins.*
I always say this mantra to my sister whenever we have a small talk after dinner. Mum didn't know that I am complaining about not having real work and just helping her with the house tasks. My sister just listens to me blabbering about the everyday tasks that I needed to do but I am not suitable for them really. I want to work where I can showcase my skills and my experience. Being stuck at home is a good thing but not working is not really my forte. Even though I have already applied for a certain job the waiting is also long and I am really itching to go back to work already.
My sister just listens to me every night and I kept on blabbering. After a minute or two she would just tell me this
*Take it easy, you know when I was having my maternity leave for three whole months I felt what you really felt and it's really killing me not being able to work for such a long period of time but you know what I realized that with those months that I have no work, I get to see you nieces and having the chance to take care of them and not minding the timetable and not rushing everything because of my work is really a refreshment. Yes you have no job as of now and you're just mooching from our parents but just try to think of this as a month-long leave from work. Remember those days that you can't even sleep a wink because of too much work and the stress killing you because of overworking? Take this time to spend with your son and the family. It's not every day that you get to wake up not rushing everything and enjoy your cup of milk while looking at the sky and talking with Mum every morning. Seize the moment and just let go of those frustrations. Time will tell when will you be coming back to work full time again.*
That really made me silent for a while as it didn't cross my mind that this is my chance to have more time with them.
So for now, I guess I will try not to be agitated and to finish those books that I haven't read for days already as I am busy doing house tasks.
Let me just share to you that I laugh off my frustrations because of my son.
Usually, he behaves after taking a bath but after mealtime that's another story, he really plays and moved all around and I kept on telling him to stay still but to no avail he just can't be in one place. At first look, he was playing balls with his cousins, and then a minute or two he's already riding his bike, and then another glance and he's poking Mum's cheeks just to piss her off. Mum always scolds him and I don't interfere with that. Afternoon naps are a must for the kids so when he wakes up that's where my nightmare starts. He really moves a lot and I kept on telling him to stay still. The kittens of Summer can walk already and he just kept on teasing them and letting them follow in his footsteps and sometimes he fights with his cousins. I really had enough with him but I just laugh and Mum told me "Di malalim sah? Engun ana imong anak" I just laugh it off as I really do admire Mum for keeping up with my son's craziness.
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
Her Warmth Embrace!
**August 22, 2022**
The weekend syndrome still lingers in me that I haven't done any online chores not until I received BreadChamp's message to me.
Being at home seems like I don't have time to even look at my phone, the chores seem getting more and more each day, the cleaning seems endless and my hands kept on trembling after a day. It's not my obligation but I don't want to think of work, the hopeless work that made me decide to find another.
Early getting up to prepare breakfast for the family, clean the surrounding, water the plants, feed the chickens, bathe the kids, prepare for lunch, wash the clothes, teach the kids basic education, prepare snacks, and then continue until dinner, the dishes seem endless too. I thought I could catch a glimpse here when my son's taking his siesta but the spoiled brat really wants me to settle down with him too as he loves cuddles and ended me dozing too and when I woke up it's time to prepare dinner already as the members whose working already came home.
Such day-by-day chores filled my time ever since. I don't want to be a burden to the family so I'm doing everything just to lessen Mum's work. I also kept my phone on full volume in case I got some calls from work but to no avail, I didn't receive any.
The time I get to rest my mind is after praying the rosary with Mum, she lets me sit beside her while reading a book. Every time we do that my mind's at peace. The most that I love most is when she embraces me and just lets me hear her heartbeat. There are times that overthinking puts me on edge and when Mum embraces me I just let my tears flow freely.
Same as what happened today, my headaches have been bothering me since yesterday but I just ignore them or sometimes drink some pain reliever to ease the pain but it's gotten worse. Mum embracing me and letting me cry really did help.
Image Source https://www.pinterest.com/pin/61291244899174079/
**"Stressing yourself over trivial matters only makes your head reeks in pain, take it a rest. Everything gonna be fine."**
She said those words while stroking my hair and patting my back.
Honestly, I hate this situation of mine right now, I felt like I'm already unemployed and I can't find help, and helping Mum in the house is the only thing I can do to ease my guilt of not giving them their needs. The other day my son ask for some burgers but I can't give him because I don't have cash with me, I don't make promises so I just told him I don't have money anymore as I don't have work. He will just tell me that I should treat him to some good food if I find another work.
Being away in the city longer than two or three days made me uneasy as I am used to returning to the city after the weekend and my routine after work is not quite the same at home too. Having a lot of time seeing Mum and hearing her voice really just calms this restless mind of mine. Her calling my name and telling me stories from ancient history and differs them to the new era is somewhat entertaining to me and my spare time is somewhat worth it just being with her.
I got my strict habit from Mum from the way I organized my books to how I clean my things minus the very tedious type of her for I am just a so-so type in terms of cleaning, heh, so having her show her soft side is rare. She only shows it mostly to us and to her mother also. She's really strict and I always got an earful from her every time I mess up my closet I kept asking her the things I needed although it's already in front of me but seems my nose is on the way that I can't seem to see it instantly without her help.
I kept telling myself not to let the family worry me as I am trying my best to find some alternatives but it seems like options just got out of the window and I can't find an escape from this kind of problem. But I just let my mind rest, Mum was right. I can't think of anything if my mind is like this.
Mother really knows how to console their child and I can testify it from the way my Mum goes soft on me and embracing me is one of her coolest features hehe.
Sorry guys for being absent from your comment section as I am trying to get myself together and face the sad reality of being unemployed in an instant lol!
I know I've been a mess and I'm still now but I am trying to collect it from time to time. I may be less active and would sometime not publish but I will still check and read your articles..
@ExpertWritter thanks for checking on me although I haven't responded to you yet.
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
The first time I snapped at him
**August 20, 2022**
As many of my friends or those of you who know me, I'm a mother of a six-year-old boy and were living under my parents' care, I'm also working away from home and only have time to bond with them during weekends as it's my only days off work. Even though I'm actually looking for jobs I'm still under the company and I need to attend if they needed me.
This week has been awfully bad on my side and with the current problems surfacing I only have to keep my cool within in order not to burden the people at work. My co-worker voicing out his concerns and all I can do is to console and hear what he has to say as I can't help him on those matters as it's beyond the boss's decision that we're after.
But what really strikes me is my son's behavior and my sister has been complaining about it as she doesn't want to be the one to scold my son for his behavior. Kids these days sometimes don't want to listen to others aside from their parents and they often became hard-headed, my son was not exempted in that area. As much as I want to, I don't want to let it out of hand as he is still a kid and exploring everything but somehow his behavior this week is too much.
On the way home I kept thinking of ways to talk to my son about his wrongdoings, I rack my brains but because I'm also on edge about work I end up sleeping on the bus and didn't think about any plan.
I came home and saw him smiling at me but I didn't return the smile so he already knows that the news came to me thru his Tita. Knowing how a smart ass he is, he kept on showing me the usual, taking my shoes, offering me my water bottle, and even fixing my things. But I stopped him and ask him if we need to talk after I change clothes. He waited but I know he was thinking of ways to contradict everything.
I start asking him about what he did during the week that I'm gone, and he told me everything aside from the mistakes and bad behavior. So I told him that his Tita told me about the bad deeds he did and as guilty as he is he kept his head down. I really don't like his attitude of him and not looking at his eyes I will never know what he's thinking.
**"Kept your eyes lock on Mama's and don't lower your head when I talk to you!"**
And that's when I snapped at him that we were both shocked, even her cousins and my parents became silent.
image source https://www.istockphoto.com/illustrations/scolding-child
After hearing everything and not telling them what he did wrong got me pissed, so I told him everything that I heard from my sister and ask him why he did that and what would be his countermeasures if ever that situation resurface again. He told me everything while looking into my eyes, he told me that he is sorry and he wants to be spanked or hit if ever he'll do something bad again which I know I can't do to him.
In the back of my mind, I really want to cry and hug him and say sorry for snapping but I just want him to realize what he did wrong and to know that I am not at all pleased with everything.
We stared for a couple of minutes not saying anything and just looking at each other's eyes. I know he is about to cry but hold it in.
Papz saved me from crying as he called out to me and said that dinner was ready. I barely contain myself but just hold it in. It's not every day that my son made indecent behavior but if I can't even control and scolds him then what kind of parent am I? The dinner was only me and my parents talking, the kids didn't bat an eye and just focused on their respective plates. After cleaning and the evening prayer, I went inside our room and observed that my son already finished washing and changed into his pajamas, we prayed together and shut the lights off.
He is always clingy and doesn't want to go to sleep without me cuddling him whenever I'm home. We didn't talk and I just sat there beside him looking at my phone checking messages although I really have none. I guess an hour have passed when suddenly he talked
***"I'm sorry Mama, I know I did bad and only realized it after you scold me, I can't promise a thing but I'll do my best not to disappoint you anymore, so please lie down now and let me sleep hugging you."***
Without talking I shut the lappy and put my phone aside. I've been wanting to hug him but just controlled myself. We only changed I love You's. Hugging him is really a sigh of relief and comfort for me and I might say something foolish again so I just shut my mouth and stroke his hair until we fall asleep. The hug really made me cry but I don't want him to notice me crying so I really did all I can not to let him know.
The reason I haven't published any last night is because of this.
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
And now I'm reflecting from those behaviors..
**August 18,2022**
After reading Madam Jane's article the other day I had a lot of thinking and I am kinda reflecting of my actions and behaviors in the past. https://read.cash/@Jane/stop-giving-more-time-to-the-less-important-stuff-e0c73d69#comment-a90bbf25
There are times that I become greedy over useless things and I often made reckless decision which made me got instant regrets after.
****Materialistic****
I can't bring back the money that I bought upon those merchandise from different stores and the shirts are still being worn by me up to this present day. I can't wear and put the wallpaper just anywhere so they were kept hidden from the eyes of my mother who condemns me being money spender over those idols.
This behavior of mine seems to be active up to this day but honestly I did lie low and even changed for the better ( talk about defending duh). But I know I can't bring back the money bought from it and surely it did give me happiness but I can't use it in my daily life, oh I only got to look at it but never got any use of it which is a bad decision on my side.
I stop purchasing those stuff though and I often look only for the things needed by the family, yes I'm always tempted but now that I need to control spending a lot so I often ignore those merchandise released lately.
****Quality Time****
Believe it or not I'm not contacting any of my friends from before. Call me snob but I don't have a good topic to tell them as it always down on them setting me up on a blind date which is really childish for me. After rejecting their proposal on setting me up I won't reply to their messages until they gave up on pestering me. When you're in group of people who really stick their nose to other lives, you tend to get anxious everyday as they will not stop picking on you until you give in unto them in meeting up another man for a date.
My quality time is mostly shared with my family only whom are my loyal friends lol!! My son is my best of friend as he says.
I know I've been rejecting them and I know it's bad, I just don't want to be reminded that I'm the only single woman of the group ugh so I stay away from them and ignore their invites just to not be awkward with everyone.
****Spiritual/Service****
This is mostly neglected, yes I prayed but I didn't have time to attend prayer gatherings as I have a lot of reasons not to especially if I'm at work which is really bad, not attending Sunday worship every Sunday, only to come like once or twice and just prefer on online .
I also hadn't have the time to contact my church mates as we are busy from our perspective work and we are all so far away as some where working overseas already, some also focused on the business they put up during pandemic.
I want to bring back the fire within me to be able to worship God but with my current situation, walking up to Him is an only option yet I became stubborn sometimes.
****Idolatry****
This is mostly my problems as I have my almost a whole obsession over EXO and reading manga/manwha.
I tried to control myself and even set a timer on when will I have the chance to from watching and reading but I just can't help it. I forgot everything when I'm reading a complete series of a story in manwha.
It became a serious behavior when even my room all the boys faces where being plastered on my wall as they are part of me. I once got scolded I put al of KAI's picture on my wall.
These behavior of mine didn't even change even though a lot have passed.
Such reflections on my thoughts and behavior surely made me want to correct even one of them though as I feel terrible actually. Not minding the people whom are with me along the line. I became obsessed with work before that I am overpowering my body that it sometimes became frail and you have no one to blame but your father/mother only even though you're the one abusing yourself.
I am really sleepy due to what happen earlier so imma take an early flight to bed
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
1 am thoughts
August 18,2022
I didn't know that I fell asleep, earlier than usual,only to be awaken at such a crucial time when my mind can't work properly.
Sleep ran away from me and I can't even phatom the trigger that I can't go back to sleep.
Counting sheeps seems never worked this time and I need to let the sheeps have their well deserved rest too so I stop counting as it became useless.
I look up and saw the hole in the ceiling near the bulb "ah, if I stare too much, will the buln fall?" that's what I thought.
I kept turning and turning on the little sofa that I used as my bed, then stop when I almost fell, cold sweats came in and I thought I got my third life taken away from that and became scared.
I don't want to get up thinking if I suddenly get up for sure I will not sleep a wink because my mind amd body will ne active again and it's the wee hpur already
But I'm thirsty and an ample amount of water is needed to clench this thirst. Guess I'm shouting or singing in my sleep earlier that my throat suddenly became dry.
I look up my phone only to found out that it updated on it's own, got new features but not at all bother me.
I want to go back to sleep, I kept repeating that on my mind but it seems impossible tp make it.
I hate it when I feel like sleep always turns away from my side. I want to rest too but even that simple request I can't seem to acquire.
If only I'm at home, I wouldn't be like this. If ever I woke up in the middle of the night, I don't seem to worry as I can always hug my son and to feel his normal breathing it makes me calm and go back to my sleep.
I badly want to sleep again but I can't, ugh and it's really a pain.
@mommykim
What I usually use at work
**August 16, 2022**
Now that I will possibly be quitting from work only I get to realized that being an office worker you also need a lot of things that you’ll be using on your stay at the company.
In my younger years(high school) I thought that when you work in an office you only need you computer and you can do everything and can get your job done. That thought was extended during my first work as I am only using computer on my work, sending transmittal and invoices encoded by the operators and vice versa. I don’t usually hold anything aside from my scratch paper and two ball point pens(blue/red).
As I was looking at what I usually use in my work station, I though “ **Ahhh, if ever I will build my own office it would cost a lot with these things I usually use**”
Or it may depend on what kind of work you’re literally task to.
**Personal Computer/ Desktop**
I mostly use laptop outside office but when I’m glued in the office I mostly use this computer. Let me tell you some funny incidents that actually occur because of my greediness. When I was transfer in the main office my monitor was the 12’ one Samsung brand. It’s really small but I manage to use it for a year. Then a new project was awarded so the on site in charge were given each computers so the old one would be stock. I change my 12’ monitor to their 14’ and then this recent I changed it to 21’ mweheheheh. Lady Boss even complained that my monitor kept on upgrading while she’s still struggling on her 12’ so I change the old one that I used heheeh.
Encoding sales and expenses, opening email, printing, searching for suppliers and materials as I’m still not familiar with the materials, most of my work are on my PC.
**Printer/Photocopier**
Printing lots of documents are also part of my job. I experienced printing lots for the whole duration of my work as we need all of those to submit within the day. Or when we need those copies of the building plans for quotation and I need to make lots of copies of those. Printing employee’s ID and also the payroll.
**Planner/Highlighter/Pen**
When Big Boss is working on some quotation he tend to call our names and told us to look for this and that:
*“ Give me the price of this and the thickness and length”*
*“ find me some supplier of mixing with this PSI”*
Things like that so I need to always open my planner and be sure to write everything he said so that I can inquire those with the suppliers, canvassing is one thing and I need some reference and I use highlighter with each product and supplier, it also use as a means of segregation for me especially when I am in an impromptu tasks.
**Calculator/Purchase Order Form/Stapler**
To some this might be unnecessary but with my work I need this the most. After canvassing some materials and getting a lot of prices, the bosses will choose where to purchase basing on the prices and the quantity from the one that has been canvassed. After choosing, I need to get the exact quantity needed and input it on the purchase order form so that the supplier can check the needed one although I already call them beforehand regarding the order. Calculator is actually my best buddy most of the time that my brain stop working. Stapler is for attaching files needed.
At home, I am only using a small table that was used as my sons study table before but since Papz made a bigger one for the three of them so the small one was unused so I am actually using it. I did plan on buying an actual work table if I have extra budget for it but for now I will just make use of the small table heheh.
Apologies if I can't read your articles for the day as I was caught up with some errands and my internet connection sucks.
I promise to read them all ..but for now
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
Applying for Solo Parent...
**August 15, 2022**
In every barangay, there's a community that would solely prioritize and gives aid to those people who need assistance, those people whom they can help thru the funds given by the government also, and also the selection would include ( single parents, PWD, Señor Citizens, etc.) They provide mostly cash assistance according to the data they acquire.
It really never occur to me to apply because prior to this topic I have been well and all in providing for my son, I am not boasting about my work but I am not also denying the fact that with my work I can fully support my child.
Mum has been insisting I apply on this when my son turns two as I am qualified to apply for the said benefits, but I am currently working and I am earning well so I didn't mind Mum's nagging about it. I just don't want to use my son to accept help from the government and all, call me close-minded but I'm not really into that kind of thing and I don't want my son to be dragged and all about it.
During our dinner last night, this topic came in because a close friend of Mum who works in the barangay asked if I'm interested in applying for the said solo parent benefits. It also sits with my situation that I do have not enough budget as I have a very complicated work status as of the moment being an on-call employee. So the thought of applying came to light but I didn't think of it deeply.
Earlier Mum woke me up and said someone was looking for me. I'm not expecting visitors but it turns out that it's Mum's friend. She gave me a form and ask me to comply with the needed papers and come see her in the Barangay office to pass the application form.
The requirements are only:
Marriage Contract(if applicable)
Birth Certificate (Children)
1*1 picture(2pcs)
Barangay Certification
I already have all the requirements needed aside from the MC for I'm not married and the Barangay Certificate which I'll get in the barangay also.
Good thing I made some secured photocopies and also pictures in case I needed them in time and looks like I'm right for I don't have to go to the city to have my pictures printed.
After filling up the application form, I went to the barangay hall only to be welcomed by a lot of personnel whom honestly I didn't quite recognize. Some would say that it's really the time that I apply as my son is already big yet I didn't make a move with the application when he was younger. I got a lot of questions from them but I just smiled for I became stiff and got cold sweat. Good thing Mum's friend accompany me to the cashier's section and told me to pay for the Barangay certificate and then next to the Barangay captain to have her sign the certificate. After compiling the forms needed, I am done and was told to just wait for the I.D to be released or to be sent home.
Good thing the processing ends quickly for I can't seem to face a lot of my neighbors in the facility. Even though I want to know who spread gossip about me and my ex but I can't stand around a crowd of fake people who only smooch money and all...
I also need to attend the monthly meeting with all the single parents within the neighborhood. Guess I can go to that given that I will have a lot of time at home. But even if I can't attend, there are Mum whos willing to proxy me. My sister tease Mum as she's the one excited about it but I know she only wants this to help me.
Then here's Summer whose really angry right now as I didn't even give her any treats and I keep on capturing her like this mwehehehe.
I can count what I process today as being a productive one as I am not spread on my bed all day.
Another glorious one is Papz also added another divider for my books so that they can have their own place in my room too...happy meeeeeeee..
Thank you for reading!!!
@mommykim
Gonna make a change...
August 14, 2022
I have been contemplating, whether I need to make a change for myself or just stay where I'm at right now.
I've been having trouble at work ever since the pandemic came but they came to be bearable before. I guess I shared some or more bits of it last year and even a few months ago. The stress, the problems, body pains, depression, anxiety, and all.
I thought to myself that if I can all chew them and just bear with it a little more I guess I can carry on with work as it is.
But with the current situation and my co-workers slowly retracting their contracts and shoving their resignations one by one made me think a lot about it.
The work is not hard as I am used to it or so I say, the responsibilities are quite many but I can get through it but it's just that I need a place to grow.
For the time being, I will not be going to the office as per agreement as we have no more projects and it's also a ghost month, it was abrupt and my things were still intact in the office but it's not that I am already fully unemployed.
I will be an on-call staff as of the moment until we have projects going and it will be possible next month to be precise.
I came to a thought, that this may be an opportunity for me to change course, to try new things.
But, I came to a halt, and look at my son. He will be back to school in the next two weeks so I will use this time first to have more time with him until he comes back to school and only then I will plan on pursuing my plans.
What are those?
I did plan on venturing into BPO and I inquired my beautiful baby @BreadChamp about it but I haven't sent her what she needs as I need to tend to my son first and also have a lot of rest. If I succeed in applying as planned, I tend to submit my resignation too as if it's what would be of help to the company. I can't leave Lady Boss honestly, not because I've been attached to her and we've been together at work for a long time, it's just that she thought me a lot and she honed me to be good in what I do by her guidance, she might be strict and people often judged him as is but she really is a kind-hearted person which also makes it hard for me to leave.
After a week, I shall finalize such decisions if nothing will happen in the company. I kept on praying to stay as I am at most enjoying my work but with such circumstances, I won't how to prolong my stay though.
This is only a plan, I will be sending my resume soon and I will just go with the flow in the following days..
May God guide me on such decisions..
Thank you for reading!
It flooded so I canceled the invitation...
**August 12, 2022**
Hello everyone, the sky seems really sad that it rained all day on my side. I even thought that I might not be going home if the pouring continues, good thing that it stops in the afternoon.
Early morning, she wakes up, and she cry, cry, cry on the floor...
Sumimasim.....Okay here's the real deal.
A close relative of mine suddenly message me and sent me an invitation, it's about her husband(My Uncle who is the cousin of Mum) turning forty-five today. I actually didn't expect to receive one as I rarely respond to her messages and I become aloof to her because they had a little misunderstanding with our eldest before. As a sign that I saw the invitation I just give it a heart emoticon just for her to know that I appreciate the invite.
And then the family also wants me to go, I really am not fond of social gatherings especially when it involves my relatives. It's not that I am plainly awkward with them, it's just that I don't even know a lot of them as I rarely meet them, and being in a gathering you need to politely give your greetings. Especially when I am with Mum, I am usually forced to smile and greet and even gasp internally as I really didn't know that I have such a big clan of relatives. Even if I'm not the celebrant but I am really exhausted that I become vomiting when I come home. So I skip myself attending such and my family kept on insisting I go as they can't make it. I did tell them I'll find time as it is today.
And then this happened, due to constant rain, the drainage overflowed or maybe some garbage block the entryways that they came flooding all over that it became impossible for me to go home. It subsided for almost an hour and when I came to the terminal, a mass huge of passengers were waiting for buses as they were also stuck because of the flood earlier.
I was waiting in line at three in the afternoon and got the chance to hop on the bus at five, then the traffic congestion as most vehicles all came out after the flood was clear. So expected that I arrived home a little late as I decided to not come to the party because I am really tired from being squished by the passengers and from the trip back. Papz understand but the sisters didn't and kept on telling me to change and go but I insisted not to as I am really tired and just want to eat and sleep which didn't happen as we have chitchat with Mum after the evening prayer session.
I am writing this on my phone as I'm already lying on my bed with my son and my face was kind of swollen from being hit by my phone as it kept on slipping on my hand. Oh well, I'm not used to tying on my phone while lying down so it seems kinda hard hehe.
And that's it for me today and till then!!
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
I once worked in a bakery...
**August 11, 2022**
Waaaaahhhhhhh
Another one bites the dust yeah!!
And another one bite, another one bite
another one bites the dust yeah!
Okay I was just singing some songs from the past tsk tsk...Actually my neck pain came back and I figured out the cause of it, its because I was sitting the whole day due to my work. If I remember I share it here that I thought I have high blood pressure for my nape kept on having an intense pain but when I check my BP I'm anemic . So I searched online and found out that the blood don't flow as I am always in the sitting position, in addition I mostly elevate my head while sleeping which cause triggers with it.
And also I had a weird dream that woke me up so early in the morning, I totally freak out about that dream although it became vague after until I totally forgotten what kind of dream was that. As I woke up a little earlier I decided to just prepare and at 6 in the morning I'm already done with the cleaning and was having my first mug of coffee, what entice me is that my body just move on it's own, like after emptying the mug I am opening another pack of coffee and put water and settle down again. The moment I realize what I did I was literally laughing, even though I already had a mug of coffee I can't let it go to waste though and I honestly didn't feel the coffee I take at first heheheeh. Yeah I know palpitation is waving in this side but I can't help it when it's aroma just got caught in my nostrils, it seems like I want to drink it in one go just to taste more of the coffee.
Now,now I found some interesting questions from Pre @ARTicLEE article that he got from Probinsyana and sir Olasquere and I was excited to answer this personally too heheheh.. https://read.cash/@ARTicLEE/about-job-and-other-stuff-3d4fbe78
lezzzgooooooooooooowwwwww
**Everyone of us must have had a first job, how did you spend your first job income?**
My first job was a bakery cashier, and our wages were given weekly. During my first month I earned more than what I expected because it was Christmas season that time so we had a lot of orders. I gave them all to Mum since I already had a phone that time and Mum was the one providing me with load hehehe, I was only eighteen and haven't spent that big amount of money so I entrusted them all to Mum. I am not into mobile games too as text messages were trend during those times.
*Right! I was so ignorant back then but I insisted on not going to college first but instead apply for work that I can manage to survive on my own. It was also a personal test for me as it was my first time being away from my parents and being the youngest, Mum always worries about me but I told her that I can't gain independence if I can't make it on my own.*
*Doing everything on your own, coming and going to work, cooking, cleaning, washing. I never thought I could make it but since I persevere my own desire I guess I got the momentum that time. Being a cashier we also tend to help in preparing the breads, you know like you'll be the one putting those big aluminum trays in the oven especially during mornings as freshly baked breads were actually the one's most bought. I also experienced receiving fake money and it's the worst as it will be deducted to your salary.*
*I did quit when the enrollment was posted and although I resigned, it was a great experience for me.*
**If you were made to, what topic could you give a 20-minute presentation on without any preparation?**
A kind of topic that I can pull of for 20 minutes, that would be about my son and my journey of motherhood. I don't need a lot of preparation making as I base it on my experience even though my son's still a kid, but the journey of pregnancy to giving birth and to raising him to become a good kid doesn't need outlines to make...hehehe
**We do check our WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook and many other social media for stuff to laugh about, what was the funniest thing you’ve seen recently online? ( Let's laugh with you😂😂😂)**
Hmmm I literally laugh over this one video of two Bumbai announcer if I'm not mistaken,
" If you are ugly, you are ugly
Stop talking about inner beauty
Men do not go around wearing X-ray to see your inner beauty"
At first I really don't understand the sense of it as I was just laughing on how they laugh and talk and then when I focused on what he said only then that I laughed, it's just a joke though.
And also those videos about pets being crazy and clumsy really did make me laugh.
**Who in your family are you most like?**
Mum, most people tell me that and I don't argue with it. In terms of skin tone and behavior I am mostly similar to Mum.
**What is the most challenging job you can think of? That job that you don't want to do ever!**
The challenging job would be a President as every decision you make will affect the entire nation you're ruling. Recently former president FVR held his burial last Tuesday and I saw that he had fought a great fight for his country that made me give my salute and respect to him.
A job I don't want to do do ever would be an embalmer, the thought of cleaning especially the internal creeps me and those dead blood covering my hands would certainly bring me to my deathbed sooner than I expected huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh...
It's kinda entertaining answering such questions and it helps me remember my first ever job..
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
Sunk one down level to being hooked!
**August 10, 2022**
***Once you fall, the only way to go is back-up! -Ryu Tanaka(Haikyuu)***
There's a limit to anyone's abilities, we must admit that we sometimes become careless and we feel suffocated the we want to get back up and push more only to fail miserably because we're doing things in a rush to patch up the mess in the wrong way.
Back up plans are needed and a complete detailed strategy that no one knows except an internal team that you trust.
Failures happens and it's best not to stay within the walls of the past but instead surpass them with the desire to outshine your fears and to not let history repeats itself.
**Back yourself up**
If you think no one will help you achieve something then **do your own thing** in researching and scramming through papers for as long as you can go.
The road to that personal success may be bumpy **but with you yourself as a back up** on your own I know you can do it.
**Give yourself a lot of options**
With the innovation and with a lot of possibilities, you get to have a lot of options in dealing on what you desire to work on yourself. Try everything you can as long as the options are laid in front of you,waste no time hesitating
***It's no fun if you don't try other options once you know they exist- Nishinoya***
So go out there and seek all the available options for you. What you want and what you need in order to go forward, the variables and the solutions will come follow.
**Challenge yourself**
Do the bare minimum of allowing yourself to be frustrated, instead challenge yourself into knowing your abilities, look around and take some time to think what will make you get up on your feet to try something that you'll regret not trying.
***You just need something, challenge yourself today- Inarizaki's Coach***
And when you know what you're looking for and mostly achieved it, only then you can shout at the top of your lungs that
**"I DID IT"**
I'm not gonna lie that I became addicted to this anime ever since I watched it the first time. I can't get over them and as I re-watched all four seasons episodes, the last season got me chills as what the characters really did mark itself in my mind and heart. May it be the main team or the opponents, I got something to learn from them. That Tsukishima moment got me goosebumps even though I already watched it for the nth time.
***"Waiting for that fraying caused by slight annoyance and panic." - Tsukishima Kei***
If you become panic you tend to do more and more mistakes and it would make you lose your cool and with that you'll achieve nothing so you better
**TAKE IT EASY**
You're only compete with yourself, the negative one, to knows whose better so taking it easy is the best way.
This is just my personal battle with my inner self and me encouraging myself too hehehe.
I just want something that can motivate me and somehow watching those scenes again makes me think at ease.
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
Come at me!!
**August 09, 2022**
Oh Crap!
What time is it? Gosh, I guess Mum became really talkative tonight that our call ended up late. Well, I can’t blame her for her keen listener is not beside her so she opted to narrate everything in one call lol! Whenever Mum talks I always listen and become attentive as I want to know what she’s trying to convey with every words she said. I am not always a good listener but when it comes to Mum even though she’s just telling me gossips that my aunt conveys I still listen and try to interact whenever chances come.
These past few days I’ve been unmotivated by an unknown reason and I kept on finding what it is and what Mum said literally snap me out of my reverie and after the call I just glare at my PC for quite a few minutes and decided to convey my frustrations in words.
Well she just told me that some envious neighbors who usually spread fake news literally made me their main subject and they even include my ex whom I heard is having a complicated relationship with his partner. And oh so yummy to hear that they called me a very nasty name and on top of that, me being always at home and can’t be seen in the neighborhood made them become more curious, awwwwwwww how lame could that be?
Ahemmmmm
To my ever so loyal and loving Maritess’s,
Come at me with your oh so powerful evidence that I’m actually doing those things within the neighborhood and with all the guys you know. Setting ideas and baseless conclusions are running those filthy mouths saying I’m like this and that. Oh I’m so touched but you should’ve informed me the name of the men you’ve been telling that I’m messing with. The fact that I’m always out of your sight made you think that I am doing those prostitute kind of things? Oh dear, I’ve been through such but I am not that lame to stoop down on that level hahahaha I maybe a single mother but you should also put these in your evil notes since you have no brains and you’re full of trash so nothing will come unto that, you should take not that I kick off the father of my child out of our life. “**Disgrasyada**” you say? Oh man if you think you’re crazy, well I’m crazy enough to decline a marriage proposal so that I can solely take my son alone and no one can take responsibility of him aside from me ALONE.
And oh, another thing, don’t drag other people if you talk about me, not my son, not my family and also not my ex. Whatever he’s going through I am not aware of it as it’s been a decade, a DECADE, and unlike you we lost contact and never saw each other for years even though were neighbors.
Don’t put soil on my hands for I might blow them back at you straight in the eye that’ll make you blind forever.
And oh, if you know that I am staying at work might fire up your instinct and then spread another rumor that I am actually being paid over some nasty services.
If you do, please do give me proper credit ‘kay? I’ll bow down if you can give me even a bit of evidence though! And to make you feel better, I am not a goody two shoes so you can come at me all you want. Even if I want to head you face on , I’m actually tired and just want to sleep though so bear with me a little.
Ugh,
If you read it more carefully, you can understand what they’re spreading about me hahahaha. And since I can’t face off with them so I just wrote my love for them. It’s not like if I corner them, they’ll tell me they’re the one who did it right?
Thank you for reading
@mommykim
Monday Blues and some questions.
**August 08, 2022**
This was taken earlier when I was waiting for jeep that would take me to my workplace.
All I want for the whole day is to lie down and sleep. I don't even want to move my pen and I am also too tired to go out and look for food.
Yeah, some Monday Blues Papz and I have the same dilemma whenever Monday comes. Good thing for Papz as he's free to attend work anytime he wants but for me it's not. I need to wake up early and prepare as at exactly eight I need to get moving with work stuff.
Mum even notice it as I always call after work and earlier I let her call me as I was lying down on the sofa already and as usual the earful of my great Mum is a must about not eating dinner on time and not washing up first before sleeping etc, etc. lol!!!! Being told is what I always get from time to time and I'm kinda used to it as it's her nature I guess.
Mum also sent me this, look how adorable Papz while cuddling my niece, really they are inseparable. Whenever Papz would go to work he needs to go while my niece is still asleep as she will cry hard if she knows that Papz was not around heeheh. With the weather in our area, Papz seems to not be continuing the work so he has more time with my niece. This is what I always missed at home, the bonding and the happy moments with my family.
I've been scramming a lot lately too. I always told myself not to think of the negative things that might affect me and now it seems like I am drowning in that area too hahahah. A friend of mine even told me that I am gradually skipping away from them as they can't even get in touch with me. Laziness overflow within me that even a single "hi" "hello" is a hassle. Yeah that's the state I am today. I don't intend to be notice too and whenever people ask me how I am I would bluntly say I'm fine as I am not dying yet.
Ugh these emotions, I kept on killing it inside but it seems that it took a liking to my brain and loves it's taste and slowly eating it all. Zombie?? aahahahaha
Being gloomy sometimes makes me feel like crying so I switch into listening to some mellow songs. Then when it's Moira's turns to sing ugh my tears overflow. Is this some wild genes living in me that makes me feel like this? ugh I don't even know anymore, I've been slacking off and it seems like I'm getting nowhere anymore.
Sumimasem, I just had a gloomy day today
Thank you
@mommykim
No power Sunday and heavy rains
**August 07, 2022**
Happy Sunday everyone..I really did have a lot of rest today maybe because we have no power supply and it's been raining cats and dogs the whole day.
I been sneaking in my room as the oldies were just lazily lying on their bed too and having their usual conversation. The kids were in the other room with my sister making doll houses out of the cartoon of milk that was stored for quite a while now. I opted to join the together with my son but making dollhouses are for girls so I stopped my tracks and just thought it was time for my sister and her daughters to have some bonding time together.
And since I can't use my phone and it's really cold also so I told my son that maybe we can just hang out in our room and he plays with his toys while I read some books. He agreed but it ended with me sleeping holding my book. I woke up feeling my son snuggled beside me and we ended up sleeping again hehehe.
Around noon and the rain is still pouring heavily above us and the house is really dark Papz just lit up a candle as we need to fix our lunch too. What I like about cooking at home is that all the ingredients you need are present. Seems like Mum is perfectly checking it every time Papz needs to go down to the city to buy something so Mum would tell what needs to be bought. Mothers are very precise and know whatever is needed especially in the kitchen so whoever is cooking won't have problems and just focus on the dish they're making.
Since it's really cold so we opted to cook some hot soup Mum requested some BBQ and me and my sister are more than willing to cook it as it's our favorite also hehe. Glad that the kids also love the dish we made especially my picky son who mostly doesn't like veggies like me hehe.
But you know what, even though it was really cold and raining but I and the kids still took a bath. Well, I and my son are the one who easily sweats even though it's really cold while the two ladies are not comfortable not taking a bath as it's the normal way or proper hygiene as they always say. And since it's really cold I just put some boiled water on the ones we will be using and opted to bathe them quickly and also clothe them in the bathroom to avoid catching a cold. Don't misunderstand but Mum really taught us that it's better to take a bath every day to make yourself feel a little lighter. And seeing as the kids become active after taking a bath is a good sign hehe.
Last Friday also, Lady Boss told me that if Tuesday would be declared a holiday so I don't need to come tomorrow. Tuesday is the burial day of the late President Fidel V. Ramos. But just now, she messaged me that it was not declared a holiday so I need to come to work, awwww sadt. But guess it can't be helped though and work is work so I need to be up early again to grind in the real world. aigooo
Having a lot of rest today makes me feel a little lighter and my son too is in a good mood that he was waiting for me to be done so that we can chat a little before going to sleep.
Thank you for reading and stay warm everyone.
@mommykim
Summer just gave birth!!
**August 06, 2022**
Hello everyone, how was your Saturday so far?
Well, for me it's been always busy and I also never had a chance to hold my phone. I felt like I gave birth to a dozen kids as they're really a handful and even my little niece Alex also drains my energy as she's been moving here and there and she seems full of energy and I as the nanny can't keep up of them. My only resort is that I am also enjoying the company of the kids as it takes off my mind from the problem I am facing inside. I wanted to have some breakthrough but I can't seem to find it as of the moment, and being with the kids let my mind be off away from my personal issues.
And then comes a first to me just yesterday when our cat Summer just gave birth to four cute little kittens.
When I arrived yesterday evening I freaked out because my sister had just come out of my room and I always tell Mum to not let others aside from her enter my room. But Mum told me that our eldest has no rooms and bed for now as Summer just gave birth in her room and on her bed. Awwwwwwwww that's sad imagining that someone gave birth in your room when you yourself haven't had the chance to conceive heheeh.. I make fun of her but she just ignored me hehehe.
Summer, is the cat my sister brought home as my son and my niece loves to have one ever since they saw my neighbor adopt one. Having a pet is a first for me too as I don't have much knowledge when it comes to pets but we do have dogs, Lebron and Zoe, but they are our neighbors so basically, we don't own any, and Summer is the first pet of the family basically the kids.
Just last week when I discovered that she was pregnant because all this time she was a he,ugh, and when my sister told me she's pregnant that's when I get to notice that her tummy was actually kind of bloated though as if it's going to pop up and true enough she gave birth yesterday.
They surely are adorable and tiny, I kept on asking the kids what will be the names fit for them but the trio seems serious about not letting me know the names as they told me that they will decide on it alone without my presence so that I can't contradict their decision, the nerve of this three. Well, I leave it to the kids with the names. Seeing Summer's kittens surely lifts my mood as I only see it the first time. I guess it's not really bad having a pet in the house.
This article is kinda short as my Mum kept on calling for an audience as she wants to talk to me about something again. Surely Mum became a Maritess again. And my son kept on telling me to shut my device and also Papz, they're united on not letting me work at home I guess, ugh
Thank you for reading and enjoy your weekend. Stay warm.
@mommykim
Friday happenings and random thoughts....
**August 05, 2022**
Rainy Friday everyone,
It's been raining cats and dogs here in our province for days already and more cities were flooded and much affected by the continuous rain. Just last night at close midnight also I felt like a very big basin of water was poured down on the building in one strike, the heavy rain is really like stones when it pours heavily.
****Me being Left Handed****
I was making some reports and some queries with some suppliers so I tend to use three colors of ball point pen as I am used to doing it to categorize some parts of what I was writing. I was on the phone calling another supplier when I notice how messy my hand was, smudges of ink of different colors indicate that I have been writing and had been holding the pen longer this time. Mostly on free days, I would type the needed one in my work but there are also days like these that I prefer on writing as I get to remember most when I'm writing it down so that even though we would get power interruption I can still inquire using the notes that I wrote down.
This has been going on ever since I started using ballpoint pens or markers. Being left-handed always gets me these after results hehe and I am quite used to it. I am a left-handed person ever since elementary and although I know how to write using my right hand I am quite used to using my left hand even on other things like cooking or carrying something. I am always using my left hand.
****Reading To-Do List****
Uh oh, I guess my reading lists kept on adding each and every day. I wonder myself why I haven't read half of it only to be answered by myself also. It's not that I'm not reading manga/manhwa nowadays, but every time I finished reading a story another one would pop out and I then added it to my reading list if I find the plot interesting.
As you can see in the list they were grouped based on my likes hehe. Aside from reading articles and reading books, manga reading also became a habit especially when you saw some series or movies inspired by the manga or webtoon written by a certain author and it would irk my senses to read some of that author's other work. So this list will be wiped out in two days if I lie down in my bed and do nothing but in my mind's current state it will not happen soon. I am still reading the ongoing series though as they have more than a hundred chapters already and the ending is nowhere in the picture so I am rooting to finish it until the end.
****Haikyuu Season Five****
Tadaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh...wahhhhhhhhhhhh
The reason why I'm only reading the ongoing series in my manga list is because of this. Season Five has been confirmed. The date and year were not stated but knowing the fact that there will be season five makes me hype up and ended myself downloading and re-watching the past seasons of Haikyuu and I am now on season two already ....kakkoi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
****Rainy day and rude passerby****
As I said it was raining these past few days and the lazy me forgot to bring my umbrella when we went out to go to the terminal. I only remembered it when Lady Boss asked me where's my umbrella when I was about to get out of her car. Good thing she has her umbrella with her and lets me borrow it so I will not be drenched going home.
You know waiting for a bus under the rain and closing the umbrella when you were about to hop on really bothers me. I need to be careful not to wet the other passengers so I need to be careful and it's always one of my reason why I only use caps rather than bringing an umbrella and I am also very lazy and all.
I also encountered a very rude passerby earlier when I arrived in the city and was waiting for Papz to come to pick me up. I was having myself sheltered in the nearby bakery stall and closed my umbrella as I planned to let it dry at home. Then this rude passerby whose also using an umbrella came to stand by my side preferably waiting for some vehicle also and then she shake her umbrella right in front of me so I felt like I washed my face and waiting for the soap to cave in for my face and even my arms were wet from her shaking and whisking with the umbrella and didn't even apologize, rude. I just look at the other side and good thing Papz came and even got confused since I am holding my umbrella so why am I wet, I just explained it to him when we were on our way home. I hope she has a very good dinner at home, tsk.
****Late night talks with him and EXOL Day****
Because of the bad weather, Mum decided we eat dinner early so that we won't be interrupted by a sudden blackout if the rain kept on pouring. It's a good thing as I have more time to talk and catch up with my son.
As you can see I have my oh-so-loved milk made by Mum and a glass of water. It's some kind of routine I always do whenever I came home, to have more time with him and mostly we do bond a lot when we talk and laugh mostly about the things he saw on T.V and even the news. He even knows about the war on other countries and also the latest gadgets. ugh...
Also, it's EXOLs day today, EXOL is the name of the fandom of EXO and every EXOLs was celebrating it. I also got a greeting from my friends in other countries and it's really a great feeling when we are mostly united because of our biases heeh.
That is mostly what happened today and I realized that I have been doing things I mostly like these past few days and having no internet connection in the office made me reconnect with my books too.
Thank you for reading and stay warm..
@mommykim
Wrong usage of being a mother
**August 04, 2022**
It's been raining cats and dogs ever since earlier and I can't go out so I am just here in the building's hallway trying to write something while staring at the droplets on the parked cars and on the guardhouse in the village.
I was scrolling Tiktok when I happen to come across this Pastor telling the sad truth about some mothers whom are using their role as the Mother in wrong ways.
I, for one, am a mother of one and I also have siblings whom I am living with together with my family.
What the pastor said about some mothers is partly true as it's a very common kind of thing.
We all have complaints about our mothers , let's accept that and our mothers were not perfect either for they also tend to make mistakes as they're also mere human and not robots. The pastor then point out certain mother behaviors that I often saw and hear a lot these days.
Some mothers tend to:
**Let's you save you siblings asses from their own mess**
One particular situation is when your brother/sister are having trouble with her finances as they tend to be gamblers and they we're stuck with their debts and your mother ask you to help them
When the your sister got pregnant or when your brother made his girlfriend pregnant and your mother ask you to help them shoulder the hospital finances even though you are not of help when their having s3x.
When your mother would ask you for cash to help your unemployed siblings instead of helping them get a grip and start finding ways to earn
**Boast on raising their kids even though she is of no help along the way**
Some mothers just gamble all day and lets their children help themselves in their education else they'll just starve and she can't help them with that but when their children made it and achieve their dream she be telling people that she's the reason why her children became successful.
( I had a classmate before and his mother always gamble and even though he's hungry and can't even come to school as he has no food nor allowance but he still come and study, he dreamed of escaping the hell from his mother's grip and luckily through his perseverance he is now a registered nurse working overseas. His mother kept on telling their neighbor about his success although they already know that she's of no help with my classmates success in life)
**Always cover up the mistakes of their children even though they are in the wrong**
Not in dramas but in reality, sadly most mothers would go beyond measures just to protect her precious child. Even though the truth is her child's the on doing the wrong deed.
Instead of disciplining the child, she would find ways to turn the tables and make it so that her child is the victim.
**Lastly, playing a victim all the time and point out that you don't know how to give back to the ones who raise you.**
Mother's sometimes would say that it's time for you to take care of them instead as they were the ones who nurture you up until you are capable of living yourself alone but let's your siblings together with their family be included in the package.
I know some of us here are in a situation where you need to feed your mother and also your in-laws and the kids.
Saying she sacrificed her youth and mid years just to raise you.
Well, it's not the child fault that they came to the world earlier that expected, it's because some mothers were careless and only think about lustful activities without minding the consequences and now blaming the child for a sin they didn't commit.
There really are a lot when it comes to behaviors of our mother and we are no different for we also tend to misunderstand their actions or their purpose on doing it.
I am not saying that all mothers are like that still and didn't change. My Mum is not perfect too, she have lapses and we often bicker but we both know that we are still in process of learning on how to get through life. Learning to know your mistakes and to ask for forgiveness is a good practice too.
A mother should be the confidante of the child and not their mortal enemy.
(All stated above are just my mere opinion, any criticism and judgement are well accepted in the comment section)
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
Bystander outside for three hours...
**August 03, 2022**
This is my front view while writing this random article of mine.
Due to the office's no internet connection, I can't do some siede hustles as my data connection don't function inside work premises. I have no choice but to step out for a while. Good thing as I get to read some articles and also download the remaining episode of AOT's last season. After this I might stary with the Hero Academia as per Ropa's suggestion.
This is actually new to me as I usually atay indoors most of the time especially afyer work. I don't go outside unless necessary like doing groceries or buying dinner. But since I also need data connection to call home so I have no choice but to go out.
I can't believe I stayed outside and just sit here under the big tree for a long time like I was here since 7 in the evening and it's almost 10 now and I opted to go back when the clock strikes 10 fret that the city might have curfews and I'm still a minor at heart lol..
Surely the street is really noisy and I have struggles hearing what Mum was saying because of the vehicles sudden horn. I get irritated easily but good thing my dinner got an effect to me and I'm in a mood to have a lot of patience.
Also, did you hear/saw the news regarding China and Taiwan. A possible was might commend and Phillippines is at risk of neing sandwich in between the two countries. It also didn't help that the Prime Minister visited Taiwan. Saw also in the news that the Chinese flag was raised upside down and ot means they are declaring war. We all know how capable China is and that's the reason the former President made friendship with the said country as we are only little compare to them in terms of fighting abilities. I pray that these misunderstanding between the two countries will be settled to avoid war.
Baing a bystander here, I notice that the wirings just above me. If the city will really approved of the underground tunnels for these wirings the nightview would be netter as there will be no more wires blocking our view.
The gasoline station near me is not that busy anymore unlike earlier at lunchtime when we passed by it. It was jumpacked earlier with motorcycles and trucks.
Now it seems peaceful with only the pump attendants and the cashiers only.
On my other side is the big chunk of trash under the tree. Seriously the person who previously took a rest under the tree were the ones who left these trashes. It's really irresponsible for them to just leave it there when they're the ones consuming it.
9:57pm
And I will go back to my slump as it will be 10 already.
I hope your week is productive and I hope you eat well and enjoy the rest of the days.
Goodnight
What will my friends do?
**August 02, 2022**
"I entrust it to Eren! My dreams...my life...Everything! This is the only thing I have to give! I'm sure Eren will reach the sea! Hell look at the sea for me!"
-Armin
Surely it's a bad day at work as we had power interruption and our internet connection got lost even though the power came back late afternoon. We were told that the restoration might take longer as they were fixing the same line over the other building that has problem. I have no retort to that as we can't do anything about it. My problem lies on the articles I opened on my PC on multiple tabs. I planned fo read them all today but with the sudden interruption I guess I have to list them all and read it on my phone if I have sustainable connection. And I struggle on attaching photos as it gets decline on many tries.
I surely am hooked with Attack On Titan and I can't seem to get it out of my head that I want to finish it until the end. Call me an addict but once I butt in my nose over a certain something I can't just let it put to sleep as it is. I finished the Season 2 at Five in the morning utmost earlier if I'm not mistaken and then I downloaded the remaining seasons after. Only halted because of the sudden power interruption and the loss of internet connection that I can't download them all as of writing.
But I already finished watching season three just now. And it's really mind blowing and I kept on gasping upon the revelations per episodes. And yeah the sudden rise of emotions and the crying is present but the suspense and the hatred of certain characters didn't got out of my system until now.
I can't seem to understand the series at first so I opted to continue watching until I reached season three only then I able to understand their beliefs and dreams on why they were fighting. They have personal goals and to seek revenge or to save humanity by conquering the once lost property.
Out of the many scenes and episodes, one particular scene struck me. It was the time when Bertholdt,collosian Titan, releases hot steams and attacked Armin. Armin hold out until his body was burned to stale time for Eren to block the wall's hole and then attack the titan.
Levi has the medicine that can save a certain person by injecting it and then that person can turn into a Titan form and eat the body of the colossian titan so that its power will transfer to him. Levi was torn between injecting it to their commander in charge or to Armin.Eren and Mikasa(Armins's friends) fought so hard just to let the medicine be injected to Armin. Their friendship proven that whether death or life they'd chose friendship.
(Apologies for the rough plot and summary)
I told myself, what will my friends do if I'm in the same situation? Will they chose their superior whom they know can lead them and will grant them the best life, or me, their friend?
It kept irking in my mind but I can't seem to find an answer and I don't want to ask my friends such questions as they might get mad at me for questioning our friendship heheh.
I know, being an introvert taught me how to be negative thinker at all times. I always wonder what my friends thought of me as I merely interact with them and I don't even engage in longer conversations so I'm pretty sure in a death or life situation they'll chose the other over me. Not that I can change that thought overtime though.
My friends were the people I tell tales of my life and I often share my thoughts with them and they do the same. We've been friends for years and we did argue over matters that concerns the other and then we retaliate and ask forgiveness. Our friendship was tested way too many times I can't count on my fingers so I entrusted part of my life to them like they are to me.
It's just a mere question that pops in my head upon watching the series. Will surely never let the week pass that I will finish watching this series.
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
She was the first apple of our eye..
**August 01, 2022**
Happy first day of August everyone..
A little trivia:
August is a ghost month for most businessmen mainly Chinese and other foreign nations. Being in the construction firm, we often make some arrangements and make sure to have some projects approved before this month as most businessmen don't give such opportunities during ghost month. They hold any business engagements during this month as it is a very unlucky month for them. At first, just like the tenacious belief of the number 13, I didn't believe it because it's only a normal month and a number but why treat it like it's a poison to some. But since business is business so we tend to just go with that stingy rule.
I only knew all these from my colleagues though..I am not sure if this also apply to some...
Now back to the topic, why in the world that's my title?
Facebook memories reminds me about this certain post of mine seven(7) years ago.
This little girl beside me way back year 2015 is my first niece, the first grandchild and the the first baby of the family. She was born two days after her parents wedding. She was the first apple of our eyes.
A little history about her parents, I personally opposed of their relationship because of the man's background. My eldest sister and her husband were schoolmates way back high school and she also knew how a scumbag he is. But you know, you can't contradict a person whose really in love and a fool also. My sister was a fool because of love, I kept on pestering her to dump the guy but she's really stubborn. And before we knew it, she's already pregnant. Us, her sisters, were the first to know about it and we even became accomplices in order to hide it until her bump became noticeable. I remember one time there was an eclipse and we knew the news too late and she went out with her coworkers that time. What we did was we put a lot of water into the big basin at the back door and let her pass without my parents' knowledge.But you know you can't hide anything from your mother right? She knew right from day the changes my sister body and behavior had made way before we knew what's happening. By her fifth month of pregnancy, Mum cornered her into telling the truth and we even got scolded for covering her up and toying them although they already know, so who plays who? After the revelations only did her baby bump became even bigger and I thought it was abnormal but Mum said that the baby was freed from being kept hidden that's why she expands after having the freedom to be shown, eh?
After that the meeting with the parents of the man and the wedding plans happen, it's kinda rush but seeing that my sister looked too happy, I hid the feeling of not wanting her to be bestowed to such kind of man. Their wedding held at the 18th of the month and I even file a leave of absence from work but I didn't joined the entourage. I was just at the back and crying the whole time the ceremony was held. And I was drunk at the reception hahaha, when they tossed their glasses I also tossed my bottle of beer together with my eldest sister. We knew that we lost the moment my sister made her vows with her husband hahah.
So back to my niece, she was born on the 20th, two days after the wedding. Worst case scenario was that she's at the husband's house when her water bag broke and the husband's family didn't prepare any, only my Mum prepared everything. So they decide to rode my sister unto the motorcycle and went to our home at 11 in the evening. It's really cold as it's soon midnight already, but Mum just didn't phase and do all her rituals like smoking with the things the husband holds and let my sister bath the smoke and then their off to the hospital. I can't be with my sister as Mum knows I hate hospitals the most, so she and Papz we're the ones who accompanied my sister. At 4am, Mum called saying that my niece came out healthily and a crying mess hahaha.
Looking back, we we're really obsessed with my niece when she came home.
Everywhere I go, whenever I spot something adorable, I would pick them up and think if it suits my niece and preferably bought them.
Dress, toys, shoes, headbands, name them all I got them for her. We even bought a big teddy bear for her but ends up in the storage room as she's still a baby that time and the fiber of the stuffed toy might make her sick hahaha. I'm always excited going home because I know my niece will be at home giggling that make an echo sounds that vibrates our house. Whatever she does brings joy to us, even the way she crinkled her nose would make us go " awwwww" and would make us laugh.
But you know, it's not always happy days, when her gums we're swollen we all stayed up and pulled an all nighters and take turns on carrying her as she don't want to be put down. There was also a time that she got a high fever, as a first time parents and even the grandparents panicked. So we sent her to the hospital and got her admitted, only to be released the next day as it's only mild fever as per the doctor said.
When I'm off work I always get to hug and cuddle her and she's this lovely cutie angel who always give back the love we give her. She's so gullible in all aspects, smart and quick witted. She's our stress reliever most of the time, whenever we got exhausted from too much work, she can sense it and would immediately hugged as and tell us what happen to her the whole day. She also got this habit of sniffing our clothes and taste it hahaha so Mum needs to give her a towel just to not let others be sniffed and taste by her whenever she's outside.
If you notice, she has a really short hair even though she's already two at that time. Well, we didn't even cut it as her really grows slower than normal but now she has a really long and thick hair hehe.
Now, she got two lovely siblings that she somehow takes care of. Gone we're the baby we raised and now she's already this big and can even carry her little sister. We still adore her a lot up to this day, I was amazed on how well she handles her sister and even her cousin(my son) and she always look after them.
Months from now and she'll turn 10 years old. I might actually cry seeing her become a young lady already. From being our baby who we dress like a barbie, now she's the one choosing her clothes and her style were boyish like me. She got that trait from me I guess as per Mum.
We sometimes argue over small matters but it won't last a day as she doesn't want to go to sleep having unsettled problems with others.
But, we always tell her that she'll always be the first Apple of our eyes no matter what happen, she'll always be our first baby and that will never change.
I kinda feel emotional writing this hahaha
Thank you for reading!
@mommykim
They're one of the many possessions I have...
**July 31, 2022**
Happy Sunday everyone and happy last day of the month.
I am MIA the whole day in noise and I haven't able to publish an article yesterday because my son kept on pouting saying he already hid my phone but I still I'm in front of my lappy doing things I usually do and seeing that hurt expression of him made me stops whatever I'm doing and shuts down my device and have some baby talk with him. It's a weee time last night that it happened and I had a small talk with some of my close friends in messenger, and one of them is my baby here in read.
I was taken aback by her answers as somewhat revelations to me as I haven't read her article first. Truly I am a slow-witted person who can't even see that my friends are already depressed yet I don't seem to mind them at all,, ugh
But it's not my topic for today actually, I just shared my thoughts regarding our conversations last night and honestly, I haven't opened my messaging app until now. I can't seem to recover from that in an instant though...sorry for being weak.
Regarding my topic, it may seem like a waste of money for some but for me, they are one of the few things that makes me happy and I feel proud knowing that I can buy them with my own money now. I mean some extras from paying bills and buying the necessities for my family. Those extras I save to buy my favorites and I call them my possessions hehe.
As you all know I'm a fan of anime, preferably in love with Haikyuu still, and whenever I like some anime stuff I opted to buy them, mostly shirts, and I guess I shared some here too..
**One Piece**
Aside from those wallpapers that I purchased way back months ago, these shirts we're ones that I truly like. One Piece is still ongoing and I am planning to watch it again if I'm done with the series that I'm currently watching.
So I'm a constant buyer of stuff that ignite my interests, whether books or k-pop merchandise. Anime stuff is one of them and I mostly go on tee shirts, the extra large ones. The wallpapers and the phone cases are all I'm using too even at work. Seeing them and wearing them makes me happy. I don't usually purchase every day, just some days when I have extras and I put it on purchasing items like these. Chopper tee shirts were the latest item I purchased from a trusted seller.
**Haikyuu**
I am still not getting over it and I am actually obsessed with them that I even read the manga right now as I am also waiting for the next season to come up. This anime was also the only one that I opted to buy a jacket as the seller really is so approachable to me and she gave me lots of free gifts too, mind you, I got a whole box of stickers and photocards from haikyuu and it's one of the free gifts the seller gave to me.
The Nekoma shirt and Nishinoya mouse pad were also the latest that I purchased and the satisfaction I have upon receiving them is extra especially when I saw the freebies hahaha
**Attack on Titan**
Can't get over the twist during the last two episodes of Season 1 and I am planning to continue with the remaining seasons. Seeing Lance Corporal Levi's cool expression and the way he flinches at the deaths of his comrades is so heartbreaking. Annie's identity being the female titan shocked me as I didn't have any ideas that she was the titan who killed lots of Eren's friends and colleagues.
I got this shirt lesser than the original price as I am a constant buyer of this shop. Their clothes are really comfy and I like them a lot.
I've been meaning to say this:
Whatever you are going through, know that there are always some friends you can turn to. Don't hesitate to approach them and say your rants as they might as well be delighted that you confide in them. And also, you are doing good so make a tap on that shoulder of yours and say "You/I did well"
Thank you for reading!
Friday thoughts...
**July 29, 2022**
Hello everyone, seems like the days are uncontrollable and we can't even do a thing to stop the time. Or maybe all we can do is just savor each passing minute and seconds doing the things that have sense in our work and personal lives.
I had a lot of realizations for the day actually, since morning up to the time that I arrived home, a lot of thoughts kept on lingering in me.
Chatting with some friends earlier, I realized one thing as they're narrating their tantrums. You can never tell if a person is purely good inside just by communicating for days or months. Some may show their hidden nature over the course of time. Or they somehow become salty and show their true colors as they get so comfortable with other people without knowing that their shady personalities affect how the other person would look at them by now.
And also, boasting about something you've done before is fine if it can increase your self-esteem and confidence but do not do it too much to the point that the other person listening might think you're just too full of yourself that even the dirty business you had in the past you seem to have been proud of, it's not a good habit so beware.
Another thing,
Accepting being lost is normal. They say you get to learn your lesson when you lost, is it? I say winning or losing you will realize some changes but it's up to you to take charge of that change or ignore it and move on.
As a worker, there are times that I often asked myself if I am doing my job well. Whenever I got scolded or praised I always take notes of those as I get to accept the situation once I get to gasp the possible reasons on what might happen that the people around me conclude such things.
Losing in bidding or the proposal getting rejected is part of my work life. They declined not because we're not enough, just like political issues, being in this business there are also shady people abusing their powers and trampling those lowly companies whose getting by on their day-to-day basis. Just because some high-ranking officials in some company favors those who gave them a big pot of cash so they ignore those small time who really did put a lot of effort into their proposals just to be rejected.
The world is cruel but it doesn't mean that you should too.
Be wary of your surroundings but don't do things you might regret in the long run.
Do your job and do your best in dealing with problems that may suffice.
Last thing,
Children are really keen observers and it's kinda scary when they gasped with what they come up with in their personal mantra.
Parents should be careful in showing their behavior to the kids. Only show those that you think can benefit the child and can improve their personality and their growth. You might regret it if you see your child doing something nasty as it's what they saw while observing you.
Why am I saying this? Well, my son just caught me putting my feet on the table in our room, I did that to ease the muscles on my knees and feet button he told me that imagining if the one I put my foot too would be our dining table, that would be gross and then told me that I rather not put my feet on the table given that the title n is still part of the home he mentioned so he should be mature enough that to lurk .
Friday went by on a whim and we sure did enjoy every day grinding and making ends meet. But though it may seem faster than I imagined, just stay quiet and be vigilant.
Thank you for reading...
Goodnight everyone!!
@mommykim
@mommykim
