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As I look at the mirror and saw my own reflection. It suddenly came to my mind and got me curious. If I can have a chance to talk to my inner self what will I tell her. It's just a random thought. okay.
Do you also talk to yourself when you are alone? When you're in the bathroom, at your room? It's like your mind is talking to your heart and they keep arguing on who is right and who is on the wrong side. I always do that with my self everytime hahahaha. Am I weird now?
We all have many things we want to tell ourselves. Words that put a definition of comfort only our inner self can explain. Specially if we don't have the courage to tell other people. Or if we don't hear the words we want to hear from them. May it be a compliment,judgement,sarcasm,premonition,etc.
So I made a list of what I want to tell myself. It will be the first time I will voice out what I want to tell honestly.
I want to tell myself:
Don't pretend to be okay.
That would be my first sentence to you.
Don't ignore yourself. You are worthy just as you are. Why let doubts, frustrations, heartaches, disappointments, sorrows take over you? You are as strong as rock.Don't ever forget that. You got swayed but you never fall hardly.
Yes. You build strong walls around you to guard you from being hurt over and over again. You have been in so much suffering before. You were judge with your actions and you faced the consequences because of it. You just let them ruin your reputation but you never cared as long as your child is safe.
Be proud that you raise your child alone.
Being a single parent will never be a sin and a worthless job. Do not count yourself as very low and dirty rag just because of the people talking behind you about how miserable life is taking care of a child alone and let the father have his way and find another family that could suit his expectations which he didn't see in you. They don't know the real story so don't mind them.
Just because people tend to judge you by your status doesn't mean your different.You always think of negative things. Don't think that the world hates you. And don't look down on yourself please.
Be open to everyone and start communicating.
You don't seem friendly at all. You use harsh words because you want to mask your intentions on wanting to have a true friend. Some people might misunderstand you because of that. They might thought your very self-centered and doesn't care at all because you use unwise words to them. The conviction you get from being like that will be worse in the future but try to counter it with actions of care and appreciation a little bit. Don't be savage all the time.
Be insensitive sometimes.
Insenditive in a good way okay?You keep complaining that they are very harsh and judgemental but your doing it on yourself also. Try to loosen up a little bit. Try to attack them with kind words or words of wisdom.
Love and Respect yourself more.
Most people call you bitter with the way you see life being alone. I know you don't want to marry and I understand that. Don't be in the darkness of your past. You keep blaming yourself because you are the main reason why your son doesn't have a father but it's you also who has been hurt.
You can cry yourself out. Don't be ashamed to let those tears fall freely. We all have weak days or bad days and it's okay to let it out by crying. You are more than enough always know that. Taking it all in silence is very hard and you've come a long way ever since. You accept failure and faced it. Cry, Cry.Cry until you feel at ease.
People tend to misinterpret you because you rarely smile when you are with people whom you don't recognize. Make your smile your weapon in life. You had a son who loves you a lot. All the more reason to smile. You're very lucky that your son cherished you the most.
Please, tap your back and say "I did well" because you really did well.You are a strong woman and you are amazing.