Me as a single mother

I became a mother at the age of 24, not young but not quite old too. So I imagined myself being the classy mom unlike my mom who always nags me or sometimes pampers me up to the brink that my older sisters got envious.

Yes, I am the youngest of the squad in the family. And yes I am also a Mama's girl but I love them both I am just very close to my mom the most because she can handle all my shenanigans hahahaha

Growing up watching my parents I dreamed of having a perfect family too and create wonderful memories together until we grow old.

Up until I graduated High School and entered College where I became aware that being alone seems the easy way to get through life.

Some of my classmates are trying to balance between studies, family, and girlfriends/boyfriends. While me is just school, home,part time job,kpop. My time is very hectic specially during freshman year where I need to have time management.

I experienced having hook ups but not quite a relationship. I am not a clingy person in general so I don't like skin ship although some of my hooks up get through with it.

When I reached 20 I'm already working full time on a big company as an encoder. I'm a loyal employee. But sometimes I want to enjoy skipping work and go on a karaoke bar to sing my heart out all night. I have some workmates whom are like that and I did went with them sometimes and found some good looking guys everywhere. Hook ups are a little fun than having a casual relationship of your significant other but it just that it doesn't suit me at all,frankly speaking.

Then at 24,I became pregnant at the last quarter of the year so by the time I gave birth I'm already 25, matured and ready to take responsibility for my young little one. It was a tough choice for me having to deliver the baby in a normal delivery because I have a very fragile body(result of being pampered well by my mom). Luckily the baby come out healthy and crying ever so loudly hahahhaa.

So as my son being the 2nd man in the family(aside from dad) is well treated in a special way which suits me just fine. But having a son also has hardships or sometimes irritations because many people in the clan wants to meet and carry him, for Pete's sake he is just a 5 day old baby yet he got carried by more than a hundred people. I can't complain further because as everyone in the family said it is the first time that they will be having another man in the family. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

As I have mention on my other article that we are not in good terms with the father of the child and after he left I raised my son alone up to the present, with the help of my parents also.

The first few months having him is already a tough job. He is asleep the whole day and and awake from midnight until morning because he is still adjusting with the lightness.

My mother has an eatery before so after I gave birth in order for me and my son not to be a burden I helped my mom with the store. So by 5 am my son's already asleep again and I get up to help prepare for the breakfast menu and after cooking I gotta go back to my son to bath and feed him and then come back to the store to cook for the lunch menu.and then after go back to my son again to feed him. My son being sleepy all day is a great relief because he just cry when he is hungry. Up until on his 4th and 5th month that he became grumpy and clingy(hahahahahaha) he wants to be lifted all the time and he doesn't want other people aside from me to lift him, not even his grandpa who wants to play with him.

Even if he became grumpy he needs to be taken care of by his grandparents because I already found a job so I can only tend to him before and after work.

Honestly speaking, it's very hard playing a role of a working mother. From morning i need to get up early to breastfeed him and put some other milk for his food later in the lunch. Then taking him a bath and after I need to prepare myself for work. Working also sometime is stressful. After work i need to help mom prepare for the ingredients for the eatery the next morning. And then at night time I need to change and bath my son again and put him to sleep.

There were times that he cries at midnight and I need to cuddle him ...imagine standing while you have to swing him just to make him sleep and if ever you want to lay him down he cries again and you have no choice but to cuddle him again and put him to sleep and you didn't realize that it's already morning(hahahahahahaahah)then the normal routine again.

There are also times when after his immunization he got fever so I need to put an all nighter again and have to sleep for like 20 minutes while standing. Immunization is just mild compare to him having his first tooth. He cries every time and I need to give him some teter to ease the pain. Sometimes we cry together because it also pains me watching my son crying from pain. It lasted for weeks before the pain ease and hes starting to eat porridge too.

There are also times when he got fever and he is crying non stop and he is very loud so i need to hush them and be attentive because the other members of the family have to sleep too for they have work the next morning.

It's very hard the whole year that I also cried and wanted to give up. I cried from the exhaustion and the restless nights and the pressure at work. But watching my son smile and giggle sweeps all of my worries and burdens in a span of seconds.

Then I told to myself that what people told me was all true. That you will never appreciate what your parents do to you unless you get to experience it yourself. I mean for me, I get to face my mom and say a thousand of "thank you's" and "I love you's". Because raising a child is a challenge physically and emotionally. I thought I could lose my mind from the stress, luckily I overcame it with the help of my family pushing me to become a great parent to my child.

They say you chose to be a single parent so you need to stand with your decision. Actually I conquered it all and I am beyond proud.

As years pass and my son is now 4 years old, a very active and playful child. He is very silly and giggly all the time. He spouts nonsense and then pause for a moment to think and then talk again.

Because of the pandemic, I need to stay at the office and only go home during weekends. So we only got to communicate through video calls. Sometimes because of my work I can't contact them or sometimes their connection at home is unstable. But somehow we adjusted and became comfortable with the set up until it will go to normal again(Hoping). Sometimes when I call he is really pouting because he misses me and my cuddles most especially my smell. As a mom it really hurts seeing your son like that because I miss him a lot too but I need to control it for the sake of everyone. Having my family away for me is very tough. After calling them I cried myself to sleep because I miss them a lot especially my son.

"For everything I am today, my mother's love showed me the way."

No one will ever love you as much as your mother.

Are you a parent too? a single parent?

whats your story?