Hi Ex!

Hi,

Ex, I saw you last week with your kid, she is big now and so lovely, she's ahead of two years from my son. I don't want to approach afraid I might be ignored by you although I know you wouldn't do that to me.

Since we broke up 10 years or a decade ago, gosh it's been that long already, we only talked twice. One was when you buy a gift for my birthday and the other was when my grandpa died. You even buy me gifts even though we're over and I deeply appreciated it. i also want to give you something on your birthday but you insist not to because the mother of your child might be anxious. She's very enraged when it comes on mentioning my name and told the neighbors that when she would have a chance to face me she would slap me. But when I face her , she did not raise her head to face me and awkwardly walk away. Not that it matters to me if she had fought with me. I'm the one who let you go first. I'm the one that never hold on and never hear your side. I'm the one to blame too on how we ended up going our separate ways.

The day you gave me the gift that was months after we broke up. I had no reason to accept for we already broke up and there's no reason to make another connection with each other anymore.But because I value and cherished the years we've been together so I accepted it and I saw the happiness in your eyes the moment I took the gift from you.

If only you knew!!! Haaaaaaaaaayyyy...... I've kept it in my box. The gift and the letter. After we broke up I've disposed all the gifts you have given me, the letters, the pictures, stuff toys, dried flowers, pilows and dresses. I throw it all away days after . I only kept the one you gave to me on my birthday. I didn't wear it nor let anyone see it.I keep it as the only memory I can have from you.

That day, on my birthday, after giving me the gift, we had an actual closure. And swear I want to cry in front of you and told you all my heartaches. But, I only listen and listen to every words you said.

I also want to argue with you when you tld me that you will not marry the mother of your kid for you only want me to be your bride. But I know it will never happen, we have different lives now and we can't go back time the way it was before. Many people will be hurt and I don't want that to happen.

I also want to tell you that I regretted it. I regret letting you go because you're the reason I had knew love. You made me feel all the senses when it comes to loving and being attached to someone you want to call your lifetime partner.

Second time you talked to me was on the wake of my grandpa. We feel at ease talking to each other like old times. But with limitations because we know that we can't be like the old us. You are very close to my family and that's the main reason why I can't hate you more than enough for you are such a nice person and a family oriented one. And I am hiding the fact that I want to laugh and joke with you again like my sisters did when your talking with them.

There were nights that I cried thinking about your warmth. The way you comfort me when I'm troubled. Your way of telling me your jealous with out actually saying it is really one of the cutest traits you had. You nver make me jealous because when I'm the one whose jealous I don't talk at all for days. I got temper issue and you know all of that . The way you make me feel safe and protected for you will always be my rescue. I really miss those moments. Even up to this present day I still reminisce those days with you.

I really miss you ,you know. I miss going to practice league with you. I miss your smell. The perfume products you always use everytime we're together really turns me on that I want to just smell and smell you all the time.I always wore your jersey before but I thrown it away. I miss biting your forearm and you never complains hahahahaha. I miss the cuddles after the match. Win or lose we always treat each other. We are a team as always. Me as the comitte and you as the captain so we always stick together with the team.

College days were rocky for us. And I made it worse. I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I messed up on those days. I can't balance my time and it's hard for me being a crew at day and student at night yet you are always there for me. And I'm the one complaining about you joining the tour when I can't go because of exams.

We cool-off and I quit college and work instead.

You didn't know at first because I never told you. You confront me at home but I never argued. I told you everything and also told you I was tired. You let me rest and came back the day after and we're good.

Easy how it made us b together again. A simple talk matters and you understand and accept my decision and supports it. That's why I keep on loving you.

Ex, you know your my first love right?

I always told you these over and over before when we we're together. You are the first person that made me think that I can really love and give love completely to another person aside from my family and Papa God. I thought I am better alone before because I'm contented and then you came and made the best out of me. I had the best years of my life with you. First time I felt butterflies on my stomach the moment you confess your feelings to me. You didn't clearly say you like me before honestly but you said "I want to know you more!" and damn! i felt crazy all over my body. You really had the nerve eventhough you are known as the greatest nerd/coward in the team. And I salute you for that. You really step up and got the courage to face me. hehehehe

Well, I can't blame you getting nervous. My family is known in the neighborhood and my Father was very strict before for we are all girls in the family aside from him. Me as the boyish style and a member of the board committee and sorrounded by political people yet you made your moves and had your ways. Bravo!!

You also supports me on my obsessions with EXO, my only love kpop group.

Can't believe you went to watch EXO concerts with me hahahahahaha. And you also bought some official merch everytime we went to any EXO concerts before. I really can't find any other guy who supports my fangirl ways except you.

I want to tell you that. Yes, I still love you. And what happened to us in the past remains in the past. I hope that you will soon marry your partner right now. She suffered too long. She just fall in love with you at the wrong time, make the wrong move and trapped you but please forgive her already. Let's clear the misunderstandings . I know we can't be friends like before still you can approach me if you need anything.

My love for you? I will keep it until I die. I will forever keep all the memories in me. No matter what. You'll always have a special place in my heart.

Fin.