I came across this topic because of the four children I saw yesterday.
Monday is probably the busiest day of every person---schooling, start of business, exercising, accomplishing tons of household chores and so on. The lights are immediately turned off, morning meal is a priority before leaving, the cold water that runs into your entire body is awakening your soul, the bustling vehicles that are rushing to reach their assigned time, and the incessant messages because of random errands from superiors. Those are the moments I have encountered when Monday is arrived. The introduction is obviously manifesting that I must survive the plenty of works that awaits me in school. The gloomy weather approaches me to finish the numerous papers works so that I can be able to get home right away.
In the midst of nothingness, I noticed that the time is about to leave. I asked my superior if can go home early and she said, “Go ahead”. Before going home, I went through BDO-Cabiao Branch to fix my documents to open a new account. Since pandemic is not over yet, many transactions are more suitable through online banking. To secure the safety, most of the people nowadays tend to use ATM for convenience. The queue is quite long and need patience before entering the bank and in the distant view, I saw 4 children carrying a basin individually. The basin contains goods to sell and is placed over their head and hold by their strong arms to move. One of the children saw a 1-peso and they scrambled in order to get the peso coin. As their loud voices murmuring, I suddenly realized how lucky the people around to stare them, including me. If only I had a chance to be close to them, I will give help so that they won’t fight against each other. My heart is melting as I saw their eagerness to survive in this world. Even when they are young, they prefer work to live. Instead of schooling and playing, they are working.
I just reflect my life when I was a young like them. During my younger years, I always tend to play over notebooks and a pen. I remember when my parents always fetch me because after school, I directly went to my friends and cousins’ place to play. A life that I would still want to go back and those memories that will never be forgotten.
This article pertains to my younger self. Our younger self is surely the only thing that we always wishing and wanted to go back. It is the moment of real happiness, discovery, exploration, and the journey where we can use our time freely. It is like, we do not have any problems, just fun!!
In connection with this, if I would have a chance to talk someone from the past, it would be my younger self. My younger self whom I really missed because of her curly hair, brown eyes, unworried smiles, naughtiness, and unconscious mind. If you only knew, there are many stories I want to tell you. I wish to have a wonderful conversation between the 10-year-old me and the 23-year-old young adult today.
Dear younger self: Your smile, your eyes, your secrets, lonely knowledge is true. You stumbled many times but you chose to stand up with courage like your father have always taught to you. You climbed trees without even knowing how to go down. You rode a bike even if you fell on different roads just to learn and enjoy biking. When you did wrong and your father is angry, you endure the pain against the power of ipil-ipil tree, hanger, belt, slippers, acacia, guava and any branches of tree/plant that he touched. Yeah, I experienced all of these kinds of rod and I realized how valuable those moments are. Younger self, your life was an extraordinary amazing!! You always chose cooked rice soaked with coffee over sinigang. You always tended to have a dinner with bangus, sirena, kiss, fiesta, and deep sea scrumbled with sliced kamatis and fish sauce. Yum!! (Mga favorite namin na chichirya na ulam). You always chose the love to play over doing assignments. You secretly picking up talbos ng kamote and salt because you and your playmates conducted luto-lutoan, and everyone were satisfied after cooking in a can and piece of fire made by a triangular 3-rock formation and small woods. You regularly inviting your friends to play piko, jackstone, touching ball, alubado (patintero), chinese garter, dr. kwak-kwak, rainborak, bending na halos mabali ang pagyuko, moro-moro, tumbang-preso, itit-kurikit (hide and seek), kasal-kasalan, and sooooo much more to mention. When rain is starting to fall, I remember the days where friends, cousins, and I are playing and showering the rain with full of excitement, happiness, and enjoyment. Those were the days which we always pray to rain because everyone is excited. You always called “Mamaaa, tapos na ako tumae”, “Mamaaaa, kakain na ako, subuan mo ako”, and too much “Maaaamaaa”. Younger self, you had a beautiful and adventurous journey.
Haayyyy, I felt more nostalgic while constructing this because the next song played is Kanlungan.
One question: What are the things you have done nor become an adult that your younger self would be proud of?
At a certain moment it will become necessary for you to go on a journey. It isn’t to escape forever. To my younger self, if I would tell the things I have done to become I am today, it’s a very long story, so I could give some:
1. Firm believer.
She is a firm believer to have a strong conviction that something is important or worthwhile to make her life meaningful and peaceful. She is a firm believer that she can accomplishes the things that she ought to do. She will not stop until she is done. She constantly believes on the beauty of her dreams so she is always aiming to pursue her goals in life. Everything that contributes on righteous, she is a firm believer that anything could possibly true with perseverance, humility, kindness, immense understanding and faith.
2. Happy Pill
One of her friends gave a nickname “our happy pill” to a certain post that pertains how grateful they are to have a friend like her. She continuously serves as the happy pill of the family. During occasions and get-together, she always assures that she will come and spread positivity and fun for everyone. The nonstop and loud laughter, she encourages everyone to enjoy the food as she eats joyfully, the never-ending corny jokes, silly dancing moves, the nonsense chikas dramas in life, the fun-filled smile that brings enjoyment whenever they have a time of chilling with the squad. There is one time that she could not able to attend a certain birthday party due to workloads, one friend of her captioned the picture, “Kulang talaga ang saya, kapag wala si Jure”. (And it saddened yet overwhelmed me because I want to enjoy the time to be with them because we are now in the stage of working and hardships in life. So, as much as possible, if there is time that I can be with them, I always seize the opportunity because we might not know the next time, and able to see each other again). As long as the time is free up to now, she always to be their happy pill of the family.
3. The next parent in her siblings
It is completely true that the eldest daughter/son is the next parent to her/his siblings. Younger self, listen. She became the parent whenever the family needs her. She does what the eldest daughter needs to do in her family. She sacrifices a lot to give back the privilege to her parents and act as the sidekick of mother’s responsibilities. Even if she gets tired enough, she chooses to keep quiet and move forward to achieve what she really wants---to make her family safe and happy. Do you want to know why she became like this? Because someday, she also wants to be a mother. One of her dreams in life is to have a whole, humble and happy family like what she has right now. So, it is just like that this is her training ground before she goes in a more serious and accountable life as a human.
4. Persevere individual
She always works with perseverance. There are times that she forgets to grab a meal just to finish the works and activities assigned to her. She does the things wholeheartedly and always have the goal to accomplish it properly. Perseverance is very important to her because that is the thing she grasped during the toughest times of her life. Until now, she becomes more persevere to pursue her dreams.
5. Explorer
You know younger self; she really loves discovering ideas. She is curious how things work and how life functions to be a human. She loves exploring the places nor things that she can learn with and share to people. She possesses naturalistic intelligence that is why she truly loves the nature. She always chooses to discover new things than ending without trying. She also loves traveling to make adventure because she feels at peace every time she reconnects to nature. She is a collector of memories that she will surely treasure and cherish when the gray-hair and rocking chair come. She wants something very challenging and exciting and totally different from our normal and ordinary life. An adventure that involves challenging herself or trying out something new in life.
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Dear Younger Self: I hope you would still give your sweetest smile when you read this haha. I hope you are grateful to what, to where, and to who you are today. You became strong more than you could asked for. Do not worry, you are continuously growing as a delightful individual. On this path, you are sure to get lost. But you are held, watched, and guided by a vast organic intelligence. It will become visible when things fall apart – as surely, they must, in the transition between worlds. You will stumble, only to find overlooked treasure beneath your feet. You’ll despair of finding the answer – and then the answer will find you, the life will nurture you. 🌱
You have grown in the ways you wanted, younger self. Continue living your life to the fullest.
Bakit kaba laging nagpapaiyak? Haha.