Is your mind experiencing overthinking? Loss of sleep every night time? Feeling tired even you do not have much activities in daylight? Well, there is something unknown behind.
Our mental health determines the way how we think, feel, act and respond. Good mental health provides positivity and helps us coping the pressures and challenges. Otherwise, if you are experiencing irrationality, loss of appetite, mood alterations, unknown tears, fear, doubtfulness and everything that depletes your energy, it could be a sign of unstable mental health and need to be addressed immediately.
Why am I writing this topic? Because I am one of those. People tend to say that I am a cheerful person. I remembered when my elementary adviser told me that she saw a cheerful personality in me. I could say that it is true but not all the times until I have experienced losing of interest in everything. See? How does a cheerful person become a bothered one? There were sleepless nights that I could not stop thinking. There were mourning days that I could stare at nothingness. A mournful day that someone in my consciousness was died---myself. I am a bit teary eyes while writing this. At the back of my mind, why I became like this?
In my college years, life has become literally back-breaking. Yes, it is! That time, I am the eldest among the two siblings. My family has an average way of living, poor sometimes. Luckily to say, we have wonderful and hardworking parents that everyone could wished for. Papa, who has been driving for almost 27 years of his life. Mama, who has been a warrior in performing her duties as beloved mother to us. They have raised us well and give what everything we need even they have forgotten themselves. Two years of my college years went well. The financial support was given by my parents continuously. As years passed by, my sister and I need to be able to study in one university but in different campuses. Studying in a university is a privilege so we should value and take it seriously. And here it is, everyone in the family was challenged and worried because of the cost. As the eldest, I have to do whatever it takes to finish my study as well my sister plus the daily living. Things went well although there were days and nights that we should suffer first until the frightful day had came unexpectedly. It was a couple of weeks when my father had experienced sudden weight loss, lost interest in food, difficulty in sleeping at night and fatigue. We were worried because he undergone several tests and check-ups but his condition was still unknown until a certain doctor laid him down and viewed his neck. He was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism.
This incident made our situation more difficult. Aside from family issues, school works became heavy excessively. Financial shortage, emotional distress, diminution of the fellow, physically tormented and sadness that covered our home triggered my anxiety. Those moments, I do not have anyone to talk to. I do not have someone I can lean on. I am just a nobody whose no one wanted to empathize me. I was too weak and fragile. Only myself and sorrow had been my companion. Here is where it all started that I must face another battle; a fight against myself.
Another one, this pandemic has brought huge changes in the world. Economics, businesses, livestock, education, transportation especially the way of people’s living suddenly turned into chaos. If I have not mistaken, March 16, 2020 was the date which nationwide lockdown implemented in the Philippines. This phenomenon led to various problems in the entire country. During lockdown season, everyone is staying at home due to restrictions and strict quarantine protocols. As days gone by, I received multiple errands that might affect my situation as a teacher. The situation was not good and every place was under lockdown, streets were closed, restrictions were stringent and no means of transportation. Even the world experiencing difficulties, there were people who would not consider the situation as long as theirs is good. What a shame! I was stucked between the things to ought and the things should not. Please bear with me because too many to mention what happened but it is all hard to be accepted. Every day, thinking decisions or what should I do to make it right consumes me gradually. My weight was dropped, I almost forgot meals, though my mind is tired I can’t sleep and still awake for a long time until sunrise. I’ve been used by so many. This was another reason why my anxiety was regained; it kills me inside.
Until today, anxiety is hitting me actively. Why am I not telling this to my family? Comrades? Co-workers? Simply because I want to endure this as long as I can. I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I am somehow uncomfortable in sharing what I have been feeling, what I have been experiencing personally (that is why I engage myself in writing). Today, I could say I can handle this because I know how important I am. Dealing with anxiety is one my hardest feeling ever. While anxiety lives within my mind, my body starts restructuring. Here are the things I have done for myself:
• You must know your worth, your importance as a human! Self-love and self-care are two intertwining methods that will help your mind become stable.
• Never please anyone. If they want to, go ahead. If they don’t want, let them go. The world is beautiful, make yourself too. Do not settle for less.
• Practice meditation. Just have a five to ten minutes for calling yourself. Go to places where you can ponder yourself with peace.
• Be active. You do not have to go to the gym, doing household chores can make you active in physical activity. Exercise as well because it lifts your mood and keep it in balance.
• Even this pandemic hindrance our chances to discover new things, do not let this stop you in learning. Keep learning every day!
• Be kind. An act of kindness can improve your vision as an individual. Remember what Mother Theresa said, “The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow, do good anyway”. But do not let other people abuse you.
• Empower your connection especially in your family, friends and to those people who understand you.
• Strengthen your faith, because it is the only thing that will drive you in providence. God will never leave us.
For a long time, mental health is not just a mere issue, it needs a broader sense of understanding and integrates as one of the most important components of individual’s health. Do not invalidate someone’s feeling and experiences. They might experience storms that no one could see and hear.
If you keep your body fit physically, give the assurance that your mind is pretty healthy!
Continue fighting!
Love, molivs ❤️
Adulting na kasi ate phen, ganun pala talaga hehehehe