The goal is for a person to achieve their goals as much as possible with someone else's consent. The goal is not for one side to get everything and the other for nothing, but both sides should be satisfied
The more skilled someone is in what we call negotiation, or more precisely negotiation, the better relationships they will have with other people. Every time a conflict of interest or desire arises between two or more people, the need to negotiate arises. That is why people who negotiate skillfully actually resolve conflicts with other people better and reach agreements better.
Negotiation is not the same as persuasion. When someone persuades another to do something, that something may or may not be good for the other. In persuasion, there is a vertical relationship in which the persuader takes a higher position of someone who knows better, while the persuaded party has a lower position of the one who does not know. In negotiating or negotiating, both parties have an equal position.
Traps of blackmail and extortion
The metaphor for negotiation is bargaining in the markets. In the sales relationship, the buyer wants to buy at the lowest possible price, and the seller wants to sell at the highest possible price. The result of bargaining is the price that is acceptable to both the buyer and the seller. Today, in the time of fixed prices, bargaining is considered to be something that is unworthy and that is why many do not learn the skill of bargaining. Those who are not ashamed to ask: Can you give me a better price, often really get a better price. When children haggle over the exchange of toys or pictures, they learn about other children, their motivation and their ability to influence others, which will be useful to them in later life.
Although many associate negotiation with the activity of business people or politicians, it is much more present in everyday life: with a partner, children, friends. The better someone is at negotiating, the less aggressive he is when others refuse to fulfill his wishes. Therefore, developing negotiation skills is considered a good way to reduce peer violence.
The goal of negotiation is for a person to achieve their goals as much as possible with someone else's consent. The goal is not for one side to get everything and the other for nothing, but the goal is for both sides to be satisfied. This is reflected in the words "bargain" and "settlement", in which the root is "bargain", that is, to be satisfied with the result of the agreement. A good result of negotiations is a solution in which both sides have the feeling that they have won, that they have done well or at least that they have not lost.
A skilled negotiator knows well which result suits him, but he tries to convince the other side why it is good for her to agree to the solution he offers. He does not wait for the other side to decide for himself what is best for him, but during the negotiations he tries to direct its mental flows by presenting his proposal as something that is in the best interest of the other side. Negotiating flexibility is important, which helps him offer the other party something extra that would satisfy him.
There is a difference between blackmail and negotiation. Blackmailing someone means influencing them to accept the price that does not suit them and that they do not really want to agree to. In that sense, emotional blackmail or, more precisely, extortion is typical. To extort means to force someone to offer what they do not want to offer. A typical form of emotional extortion is intimidation. For example, an older child says to a younger child: If you don't give me that toy, I will tell my mother that you got a deuce at school on Wednesday. The fear of the younger child to be revealed to his mother additionally motivates him to give a toy that he would not otherwise give. As it exists between children, so there are various forms of emotional extortion between adults: rejection, ignoring, accusing and provoking feelings of guilt, duty, etc.
Maximum and minimum requirements
A skilled negotiator prepares for negotiations with other people. The first thing he does is agree with himself on his negotiating position. Basically, it comes down to determining its maximum and minimum requirements - the lower limit below which it does not agree to the agreement. One of the founders of the "Harvard School of Negotiation", William Yuri, in his book "How to Negotiate with Yourself and Others", points out that an agreement with oneself is the first step in successful negotiations with others.
Negotiation skills are social skills. This means that a good negotiator has neither the fear nor the shame of starting to communicate with others. He approaches others, clearly says what he wants and what he is ready to offer in return.