Fall in love, benefit or harm ?

One of the most beautiful feelings has a dark side: it is a source of strong suffering, feelings of rejection, jealousy, desire for death and all kinds of tragedies.

Dangerous idealization Today, there is Valentine's Day, which is celebrated globally, but which no one knows exactly when it originated (probably in England in the 16th century), nor on which St. Valentine's Day is referred. Despite that, the masses celebrate falling in love. Today, falling in love is considered one of the most beautiful feelings - a form of great happiness in life. Infatuation also has its dark side: forbidden infatuation, as well as unrequited infatuation, which is a source of strong suffering, feelings of rejection, jealousy, desire for death and all kinds of tragedies.

Falling in love is also a temptation. Those who are busy, who are in a serious relationship or marriage are also falling in love. Those who are in unsatisfactory marriages will probably go with the person they fell in love with. But for those who are in satisfying relationships and marriages, falling in love with a third party causes a serious internal conflict: to enter into something new and uncertain, or to stay in what is known and good enough.

It is interesting that in this internal struggle, the part of the person in love does not win as often as one might expect. There are a large number of those who decide to stay in a relationship or marriage and reject their infatuation. Then the problem arises how to end this unwanted infatuation: how to stop thinking about a given person often, how to stop imagining how life could have been with her, how not to follow what is happening in her life on social networks?

In order for a person in love to "fall out of love", they must first understand the feeling of being in love. This feeling is based on the psychic mechanism of idealization. It simply means that only those people who believe that there is an ideal partner with whom they will be happy for the rest of their lives can fall in love. Those who don't believe in it just can't fall in love.

Disappointment in the end As there are no ideal partners in reality, falling in love, as a rule, does not lead to love, but, when idealization stops, to greater or lesser disappointment. So previously enchanted and enchanted, they eventually become disappointed.

We often hear from a person in love that "chemistry" has happened or that they are not choosing, but choosing their "heart". In fact, she only follows her unconscious processes which, based on unknown criteria, chose the "right person" for her. The type of person someone falls in love with speaks more about the person in love than about those they choose. That's why it's good to know why someone falls in love with that type of person. Thus, a person gets to know himself and neutralizes the influence of his unconscious part of the personality on the choice of a partner.

Not only is it not accidental why someone falls in love with a certain type of person, but it is also not accidental why a person fell in love at that very moment in their life. Although such people are satisfied with the relationships and marriages in which they find themselves, they are often actually "hungry" for fun, excitement, passion, something new that is different from the routine in which they find themselves.

In the case of unwanted falling in love, one should not fall into the trap of a person believing that falling in love with a third party is "proof" that he no longer loves the other. Infatuation and love are two different feelings according to their psychic mechanisms, and that is why it is possible to be in love with one person and to love another person. Many of those who struggle with unwanted infatuation know this intuitively and therefore stay with those they love.