I was awake at 3 in the morning, and many things are running in my mind. Am I important? What is my worth? And I dont know what to think, I have too many question in my mind and it giving me a hard time now.
July is my birth month and every time it came I feel emotional and asking myself again and again. I feel like another year is gone but I am still stuck in my worthless life. Why worthless? Hmmmm......I remember one incident happen when I am in my secondary level, my father told me that all I did is wrong. He told me that "wala ka ng ginawang tama" and it hurt me so much. Ofcourse I am too young that time and nobody is perfect. Their obligation is to guide us and help us if we are falling down. To correct us if we commit mistakes not to down us bigtime. We are adventourous when we are in our teenager stage. It is normal to us to do cutting classes that time because if you didn't experience that your high school life is boring. But my father treated me like I killed someone which is the only mistake I did is to go "over the bakod" and did cutting classes.My father is very strict and perfectionist. But i am not perfect and I did mistakes. My father word stays in my heart and everytime I feel lonely I am asking myself if am I worthy. It is like a wound in my heart that leaves a big scars there.
Earlier in the morning I am talking to my friend and I told him my problem. He said you are worthy. You have a big contribution in our society. Is it? HAHAHA I am crying and I dont know what I am feeling and what I am thinking. Im very emotional. What if I do all wrong, maybe in that case I do the right one.
"Gawin ko na lang kaya ang mali baka sakaling dun ako tatama".
That is the exact word I said to him. He said you want someone to talk to, but I cant go with you because I am working. But if I can, I will go to you. Thank you my friend, it means a lot to me. I know you are worrying but I am okay. Im not really okay but I need to be okay. I feel worthless but maybe for others I am worthy. And that makes me to be strong.I know Im not good in decision making but is it the reason to tell you that you are worthless? God made all of us because we are worth it. And I always put that in my mind but there are times that I feel worthless. I know others can relate on my drama in life but others cant. I am always asking myself what is my worth.
Am I worthy? YES I AM.Maybe others cant appreciate you but in a million of people there is the only who appreciated you. God is there also so they are two. Sometimes its easy to open up your problems to someone who you really don't know, they didn't judge you. Our world are full of judgemental people.And thank you to my two virtual friends who appreciated me, eventhough they didn't really know me in person. They make me feel that I am worthy. They make me feel that Im not alone in this battle. No words can explain how much I appreciated your efforts to me. Your time is limited but still you giving me a little time to talk to me even when you are busy in your work. I appreciated all of that my friends.
To those who are like me and questioning your worth, you are worthy guys. Its my drama in my life everytime my birthday is coming. Am I the only one who like this? I hope so because it is not good. To your love ones make them feel that they are important, that they did many contributions in life. All of us is important and all of us are worthy. No one is worthless. Even insects are worthy, how much more we are human. We are higher than insects. And we are important.
Am I worthy? YES I AM!
And I am proudly say that to myself.That I am important, I am worthy and I am loved.
To all my readers, thank you so much guys! Giving your little precious time means a lot to me. Happy reading and until next time.♥️
You are worthy on your own, okay? Sometimes, our negative way of seeing things limits us as a whole but remember that we are all worthy of love and to be loved. Appreciate the smallest details of yourself that makes you as you.
Positivity is the key!