One lazy afternoon
It's a bed weather today due to typhoon. Im a little bit lazy to do things. After I washed some of our personal things early this morning and cooked tocino for brunch I just decided to lay down since my baby is also sleeping. Noontime when 2 of my niece came to play with my baby. I suppose to have a afternoon nap but my parcel arrived which is a ceiling bricks. Since my nieces are in the house and my baby is already sleeping I decided to put it in our ceiling, but after doing almost half of it I felt lazy again since I am dissappointed on how I installed those ceiling bricks 🤣🤣. So I stop and just scroll my social media account.
While looking back on my memories, my post 11 years ago captured my attention. I will rewrite it since it was written in jejemon way🤣🤣
"There is a point in life when you just have to accept that not everything you wished or hoped will come true. A time when you just have to be brave to let go and entrust everything to God, because He won't allow you to be in situations of pain for the sake of hurting, but for the sake of learning"
I do not remember where I got these lines or if its my own composition (which I doubt lol). I don't even remember why I posted it😂. I am not sure if it is due to love life charrr🤣 coz I honestly do not remember the reason of that post.
Anyway, in our life it is true that we have wishes that was not given to us. I remember before I hoped that I will be transfer to other department but it did not happened, but instead I was given a bigger opportunity where I learned lots of things. There are also times we failed and hurt, but those failure and heartache made us stronger and better. We also encountered mistakes in order for us to learn.
I remember that there are 2 times that I decided to do things that there is possibility that I will regret later on, but God did not allowed it to happen. I believe that most of the time God did not permit things if He knows if that thing will just destroy us. But sometimes He also let us to experience pains and hardships in order for us to be greatful for all the things.
Keep in mind that Everythings happens for a reason just trust Him 😉
Thats all for today.
Have a good night in a cuddle weather 😁
A throwback
After seeing this post 8 years ago while looking back on my memories on facebook theres a flash back in my mind
This is the time that I rendered my resignation out of dismayed and burnt out. I remember that day when my Regional Manager nagged and shouted at me just because she thought that I did not give the data for the needed report for the hourly sales. I tried to explain to her that I already give that data but she still keep on shouting at me as if she is one of some tactless vendor in a wet market and as if I made a huge mistake duhh🤨.
When she stop nagging and went to her office thats the time that I also entered my office and face my computer to make my resignation letter 😂. Actually I did that out of burst of emotion, coz during that time I only have limited control left in myself not to raised also my voice and forget that she is my superior. In the end, my professionalism prevailed. All those staff who heard her shouting at me told me why I did not shout her back or make patol since what she did to me was too much. I simply answer them that "why would I do that? Sarili lang naman nya pinapahiya nya" Coz imagine she does not know how to control her anger plus the fact that her anger is baseless.
Looking back on that incident, I ask myself what if I did not sent to emotion that time? Well definitely I will resigned later on coz I do not want a toxic working environment. Yes my salary is bigger in that company compared to other that time, but I have experienced enough toxicity.
Sometimes you have to let go of something or someone if that thing or person is already burnt you out. Always choose yourself and have peace of mind😉
Why people are afraid to get out of their comfort zone?
Mostly of us when we are already at ease in a situation where we are, we are afraid to get out of it specially when we thought it is already enough. This is usually most applicable to employees. I have met lots of people who always keep on saying that they will resign but after 2, 3, 4 even 5 years they are still in that company.
When I got a job after I finished my studies, I said to myself that I will do my very best to be a regular employee on that company. Since I experienced the hardship in life before well until now 🤣, I want to make sure that I will have a stable job so that I will have a regular income that can provide all my needs.
Having a kind superior and co workers that are easily to get along with are already a bonus when I became a regular employee. I thought I will be contented as a rank and file employee coz I can provide my needs and I can buy what I want. But there come a time that I feel bored in my everyday routine. Yes I am happy with my co workers and I am thankful for my job but I feel that there is something missing.
Everytime that I will feel that boredom I will file a vacation leave to recharge and forget the thought that I want to quit. Coz at the back of my mind I want to look for another job that can fullfil the desire of having a better job but I am too afraid to leave my job. Simply because I am already comfortable with it and I do not want to get out of that comfort zone. I am afraid for all the possible negative outcome of my decision (if ever I leave) such as what if I will not become a regular employee , what if my co workers will not be friendly and other things.
But after 2 and a half years of fighting for that desire of having a better job I decided to get out of that comfort zone. I got the courage because I dont have any other obligation aside from myself. It is different when you are still single when you are deciding about your life. When you found that courage you do not have to consider anyone aside from yourself.
I understand those people who are afraid to get out of their comfort zone (because I have been to that situation), coz they think more of the possibilities of the negative outcome of whatever decisions they will make. And taking the risk is like a gambling, its either you win or lose, and mostly of us do not want to lose. Thats why we do not want to take those risk because we are afraid to start all over again.
Being a mom made me paranoid
Early this morning we went to our barangay health center to bring our baby for check up. Its been almost 3 weeks that our baby is having halak or kiss cough. Last week she also had colds maybe because of the weather. 3 days ago there are times that she is coughing, actually we are not sure if its cough or just a simple samid since its only rare that she coughed so I am not that worried and just observing her coz she does not have naman the fever. And I used to count her breathing. Yes I have been counting her breathing if it will exceed in 60 per minute which is normal. The other day while observing her breathing I found it off that there is instance that it looks like she is gasping for 3 or 4 times but after that her breathing back to normal. And it happened again yesterday.
But yesterday while browsing on facebook theres a post in the group of moms (where I belong) by one of the group member asking for others opinion about her child who was adviced by their pedia to admit her child. And I read some of the comments that made me worried since my baby had some of its signs.
So I chatted my husband if he can take his restday tomorrow( whuch is today) so we can bring our baby to the center so that the doctor can check wether her halak is just normal and to remove my worries because of what I had read.
I am glad that after the doctor checked our baby he assured me that there is nothing wrong naman with her lungs and according to him halak is just normal for babies below 1 year old and below. So I do not have to worry.
As a mom is it inevitable to worry especially now that I have watched and read lots of situation where a mom ignored the early signs of pneumonia and resulted to confinement of their baby. I always believe that prevention is better than cure.
Thats all folks just sharing my another paranoa day😁
Whats make you a good leader?
As I started in a rank and file position for years, I met lot of person who became my superior. On a rank and file perspective of course what I am looking for a good leader is someone who is kind, who can easily to talk to, easily to get along with, someone who know how to understand, someone who is cool and fun to be with. Type of person you will not feel awkward when he or she is around.
The first time I worked in fast food chain, I had this manager who is so strict and all of my crewmate are afraid of him. The first time that I laid my eyes on him my gosh I found him so handsome lol. The typical tall and handsome with fair complexion. While other of my crewmates do not want to be in the shift where he is in charge, whereas I want my schedule to be on his shift lol. Coz I had a huge crush on him despite of his grouchiness 🤣🤣🤣. After my training with a buddy I saw my schedule for the following days that I will be assigned to perform the task in solo. While I was in the crew room I had a chit chat to my batch mate and saying all my worries for the task coz Im a little afraid if ever I will make mistake,,not knowing that the manager who is my crush is just outside the crew room and he heard all what I said. Thats the time that he called me just to scold and nag at me, while I do not understand what the fuss? When he is done nagging at me he ask me if I have something to say and I just answer him with a question "sir ano po ba kasalanan ko bakit po kayo nagagalit? ( sir may I know what I did wrong to make you angry)". Thats the time that he paused for a while and looked at me ( actually kinilig ako charr🤣🤣) and maybe he came back to his senses 🤣🤣 and talked to me on a nicer way. Thats the time I realize why the other crew does not like him. But that incident gave a chance to be close to him, I mean since most of the crew are aloof to him aside from those regular staff I was able to talk to him without fear and mostly of my schedule is under his shift. And he became my favorite manager. Kaya buo lagi araw ko 😂😂😂. I remember when I had a mistake that was reported to him by the other manager he just told me " Bhe be good" gosh my heart want to jump lol🤣🤣. I was young then 😂.
So lets back to the topic I just carried away I thought my topic is about my first love charr🤣🤣
I am glad that in my first job experience, I met managers that are kind so my first working experience is not traumatic. Since I am a working student I ended up working in different branch of that fast food chain and encountered different kind of manager with different kind of leadership. Mostly of them are kind and made you feel that you are part of the family maybe because one of their core value is spirit of family and fun. Those managers who value their subordinates gave me inspiration and made me want to be a manager too.
So when I had the chance to be part of a management team I applied the leadership that I have experience when I was a rank and file employee. I do not want to be a toxic superior,coz I do not want to have a toxic working envirinment. If some of my staff made a mistake that is tolerable I used to give verbal warning instead of written warning. But I think I was wrong, coz not all rank and file have the mind set like me when I was a staff . Coz I used to be a disciplined and responsible. Sometimes its hard to be kind because some became abussive. Not all the time that the out come of a employee totally depends on the leadership of their superior, in the end it still depend on the attitude of that person.
Stay when you are happy and leave if you are not...
This was my post in facebook 11 years ago.
As far as I remember the reason of this post is related to my work. I am soo stressed due to pressure with all the work that was given to me during that time. I am just a supervisor but I am doing what the manager should do since I was assigned to one of the biggest branch which is part of the Big 3. When I entered the company I was only assigned to handle small branch but its too far in our house so when there is an opening to the soon to open branch which is near in our house that time I asked my superior for the position. My superior allowed me and endorse it to his superior the Regional Manager. The Regional Manager agreed and gave me one condition, and it is to settle all the pending works in one of the big branch while I am waiting for the opening of the new branch. Since that big branch is a little bit near compare to the branch that I am handling that time I agreed since it will only take 2 months of waiting till the opening of the new branch. After 2 months the transfer to the new branch did not happened. I was stucked in the big branch to handled it. I wondered what if I did not decide to ask for my transfer
All I want that time is to lessen my transportation expense and the time of my travel thats why I decided to be transfered. But what I've got is stress😅.
That is the time that Im thinking of resigning from my job coz I am not happy anymore, but I need to stay coz I have bills to pay and parents that I need to help financially. And its only 2 years since I became part of the company. I feel that time that I am not yet competitive since my supervisory level experience is only 2 years. In short I stayed for another 3 years to gain 5 years experience before I moved to other company.
In life there are times that we are stucked in a situation where we are not happy anymore although we have a choice to leave but we often choose to stay coz its the best thing to do for now.
Sometimes we need to wait and endure the sadness of being in the situation that we do not want anymore. Maybe those hardship that we experience will make us strong and made us to be ready once we leave. Just always make sure to look for the bright side. Before you decide you already thought of all the pros and cons of leaving. And never decide out of emotion. Coz there are things or situation that when you leave you can not come back again.
Fulfilling my goal one at a time
When I was a kid, I only have few dreams that later on become my goal in life for myself.
To finish my studies
To have a stable job
To have my own house & lot
To have my own car
To have a small business that can provide my needs in times when I decided to stop working.
Well I already unlocked goal 1. I was able to finished my studies by being a working student during college days. I worked part time in one of the biggest fast food chain as a service crew coz I need to support myself and not to be a burden to my parents. Although my older brother gave me some financial help it was not enough, so I decided to work .
I also unlocked goal number 2. Actually after I finished my studies I already got a stable job to one of the biggest company in the country. But I decided to look for a job with a higher position. And now I can say that my job is stable so far.
While goal number 3 is still on the process since the unit that I acquire is tru housing loan which is payable for 25 years.
So far this is one of the best decision that I made. Although there was a point that I almost give it up, well actually I gave it up already and sell it to my brother, but unfortunately he will not be able to pay me the amount that I spent on this. This is not my dream house but the goal of having a house that is under my name is better than renting.
While 4 and 5 is still a long way to go. As you can see getting married is not part of my goal 🤣🤣. Actually I never thought that I will be having my own family. I even thought that there is nobody for me 😂😂. It is really different when God is in control. He gave me someone that will love me the way I want to be loved 😍 ( charr inlove yarn 🤣)
Now that I have my own family that personal goal change to our family goal.
Well it still the same, the difference is now we need to consider our little one and add goals that will benefit our child. Those travel goals that we planned before will definetely will be set aside.
I know it still a long journey to go before we achieve all the goals that we want. We need to take it one at a time. In God's time🙏☝️
Why do people cheat?
As we all know cheating is a choice. There's no such thing as accidentally cheating. I thought of this topic coz theres a teleserye / show in tv that I am currently watching about infidelity which is "Apoy sa Langit". The plot of the story is not the typical story line of kabit kabitan lang/ mistress , it has a twist that is new to my taste. Infairness to the script writer or who ever made the story of that series it was good and it give something new that you will be looking forward for the next episode (I am not saying that the show is some kind of a perfect of course it has its flaws) , this is the first time that I like their show for the long time, coz usually when it comes to drama or teleserye I will definitely watch the other network.
So lets back to the topic, why do people cheat in a relationship? Since there is a lot of kind of cheating, you can cheat during exam or something like that, but let just focus on cheating in your partner. I cannot answer it personally or based on my experience coz I never cheated in a relationship. Coz for me, if you are not happy anymore and you already found someone that makes you happy get out of the relationship first. Atleast it was clear to both of you that it is already finished. For me it is better to be hurt big time rather that to be hurt little by little everytime you will discover all the lies one by one. As a saying DON'T CHEAT, JUST LEAVE. And I will not look or search for an answer in google. Coz hopefully someone will answer this question but sad to say I only have limited network here in read.cash.
To be cheated on is a traumatic experience and not easy to cope with. Believe me coz I have been to that kind of situation 😂😂. You will question yourself if whats wrong with you. You will loss your peace of mind. You will be having a trust issue that makes you paranoid. The worst of it you will be stupid to believe all the lies despite of the fact that you already know the truth but you still believe on the lies🤣. And there is possibility that you will blame yourself why it happened (well I'm glad I did not come to that point, I came up to my right senses at the right time😁)
So again why do people cheat? I know they have their own reason why, but for me it will never justify it. There is no justification for what so ever the reason is.
A bad dream
August 12, 2022
4:15 AM
I woke up with a heavy heart and I feel so tired because of a bad dream. While creating this, I still feel the tiredness from that bad dream. Since after I woke up from my dream, my baby cry so I need to attend to her. While I lay her in my tummy to wait for her to burp I decided to do this article about that bad dream that I experience a while ago. I'll try my best to narrate it the way I remember it.
The scenario is disorderly. I remember that I *was in the place where I need to cross over a water but im not sure if its a river or ocean. I go there to visit a relative where as I need to pass by in a rocky road.*
*Then suddenly I feel the urgency to go home coz I need to chase the last trip of the boat that will bring me to the main island.*
*While waiting for the boat I heard that someone died. On my mind I saw my cousin in law, but someone told me that it was my father which I did not believe coz I know that it is my cousin's husband.*
*When the boat came I go there right away to confirm then I saw two of my brother and ask them where is our father. Then one of my brother told me that my father died out of fear from the gun. That's the moment that I burst into tears and run. Thats the moment that I woke up.*
When I woke up from that dream I feel unease and tired. Everytime that I am having a bad dream that involve my parents it has always affect on me even though it is just a dream.
One of my biggest fear in life is loosing my parents. Although there would come a time that it will happen coz my father is already 82 and my mother is 78 I am still not ready to loose them. I still keep on praying to God for their safety. Waaaah my tears keep on falling while typing this. When in come to my parents my emotions get loose😔😭🥺
I'll end it up here.
Thank you for reading
My first love
Before wattpad, there is pocketbook😁. I started reading pocketbook when I am in grade school. Grade 5 or 6 not sure about it, when my classmate lend me one . Maybe it was called that way coz its a book that fits in one pocket, I am not sure if those younger generation knows or have idea about it. Mostly of those pocketbooks are novel with romance genre.
Since I enjoyed reading the first novel that was lend to me, I borrowed again everytime that I finished reading. Until I read one of the novel of Martha Cecilia which is Sweetheart 1. The author made her readers to fell in love to her main character. And I admit I am one of them🤣 I fell inlove to the character as if that character exist 😂. By reading her novel your standard to man will definitely become high. The typical rich, tall and handsome😂 ( take note all main character are tall maybe this is the reason why I end up marrying a 6 footer guy 😂😂😂)
When I am in college I met a friend who also love to read novel and she lend me all her collection, and thats the time I discovered that the author Martha Cecilia has a series of novel that made all her books as best selling books in all the bookstore nationwide. After reading all her novel such as Kristine series, Sweetheart series and more, she became my favorite writer to the point that I wanted to be a writer too haha. I even starting to imagine stories on my mind that can put into a novel, but that imagination stop, when I started to be a working student and I also stop reading novel coz I do not have enough time and I am too tired to read( di nga ako nagbabasa ng textbooks ko unahin ko pa ba yung novels hehe). Coz of those circumstances I stop doing what I love.
While working after finishing my degree, I had a superior who love reading. She introduce me the book of shopaholic series that was written by Sophie Kinsella. She is the kind of author who gave sense of humor on her piece. Thats the time that I started reading again. While one of my coworker introduce me the book of twilight by Stephenie Meyer that made me want to read the whole twilight saga😂😂. Since my work before is not complicated and I am just a rank and file I have time to read.
But when I moved to other company and became part of the management team I stopped reading novels since that time my work is a little bit hard and I need to focus. So I set aside that hobby, and it was replaced by watching movies since I work this time in cinema. In 2014 when the book 50 shades of grey by E.L. James became a trend, my love of reading came out again. But this time I read it tru digital coz a copy of the book was sent to me by a friend tru email and not in a actual book. I thought I will start reading again, but no, maybe because it was a trend thats why I read it.
For me reading actual books is more satisfactory compare in reading it on my cellphone especially if you are going to read hundreds of pages. I tried reading novels tru wattpad but I was not satisfied, at the end I will not finish reading it. One time when I passed by in a bookstore who sell books in cheaper price I bought 1 which I thought will satisfy me but in the end I did not read it coz during that time Im into Kdrama already. My love of reading was replaced by watching Kdrama until now.
All of us have our first love whether its a thing, hobby or a person( maybe I will write an article about it 🤔) . Most of us used to do things before that they are not doing today anymore. As we grow our wants is also change, maybe because we only based in our resources or based on the availability of it or we based on the situation that we are in. One thing for sure those things or person that we love before gave us happiness during those time 😉
Thanks for reading 😊
Realization of a new mom
I was not able to write article this fast few days coz my little one is being clingy and her routine has already change. Before after she burped, I will put her in crib and she will just continue to sleep for 2 to 4 hours. But this fast few days there are instances that she will only sleep for one to one and a half hour. Which make it hard for me to do household chores and to write an article and I cannot also think of a topic.
The other night she got cold until now, so her routine changed and her sleep is not long like before maybe because of what she is feeling this past few days. Thats why me and my husband has lack of sleep.
Today we just got home from our barangay center because it's her vaccination day , so definitely it will add to her discomfort later and it will be another sleepless night for the three of us😁.
While the staff is injecting her the vaccine I am the one who is on panic mode coz I know that it will hurt her, but I am glad that she just cry a little bit and continue her sleep. After the vaccination we went home and bought paracetamol that our baby will need coz according to the nurse the vaccine will give her fever later on. Im glad that my husband is on rest day today, so he is the one who cooked for our lunch. Thanks God I will be able to eat real food since these past few days I usually eat canned good or whatever is available in our kitchen since I was not able to go to market. After lunch my husband take a nap while our baby is sleeping so I decided to write this article/diary /blog for today or whatever you call it 😁.
As times goes by, I realized and experienced the hardship of being a mom. And make me wonder how other mother can multi task especially those who have 2 or more children. Now I know that if you are a mom, you will wish that all the discomfort that your child is experiencing at the moment will be transfer to you so that your child will be ok. I now appreciate more what my mother did for us and made me feel guilty at the same time during times that I make patol on her stubborness (her attitude changed after she experience mild stroke). It is really true that a mother love is unconditionally😊.
Thanks for reading.
Why oh why? I miss you green robot 🥺
Some of my favorite movie/film
Since the Philipine cinema is starting to back again after the pandemic and one of the new movie which is Maid in Malacanang is starting to make some noise. I remember those year when I am still working as part of the cinema team. Where in everytime that there will be a upcoming blockbuster movies, my stress will be coming soon too coz I need to make sure that my team are ready for operation.I also remember some of my favorite movie.
When I was a kid I used to watch action movie coz my father is a fan of the action king of the Philippine cinema, FPJ. I also like watching horror movies during those times but now I hate watching that kind of movie🤣 coz my imagination started to widen to the point that I still imagine those scene in the horror movies before I sleep so I decided not watch anymore those kinds of movie.
Since I worked in cinema before, I almost watched all movies. Here are some of the movies that I really like (aside from marvel movies or those known blockbuster film i.e transformer);
One of the Filipino movie that stuck on my memories is Alagwa with Jericho Rosales as a lead actor, the movie is full of suspense and drama. The performance of Echo in this film was really great. It was about a love of a father.
While in action film, I was impressed by the movie Red Cliff that was shown 2009. It is war film that shows how strategic planning is important.
But for me what I really like the most is a Indian movie which is Three Idiots. It is about having positive outlook in life. The movie is light since it is a comedy but it will give lesson to everyone. And there's another one Indian movie that also stuck on my mind, it is PK. The movie is all about religion. I watched these 2 indian movie in facebook which are recommended by a friend.
Watching film wether in cinema or in the comfort of our own home help us to learn new things, at the same time its a way to relax.😉
Short trip to Tanay, Rizal Philippines
Since I just have given birth last month, I was not able to travel yet and also during the time of my pregnancy. While exploring my gallery while my baby is sleeping, I've seen again all my travel photos and can't help but to miss those days. Actually 3 of my articles are all about those travels that are my favorite or travels that stuck in my memories coz either I really love where I have been or that travel gave me unforgetable moments or experience that I want to share.
Since 2018, I have been wanting to see beautiful sight of sea of clouds in person. This is the reason why I decided to hike, but after I hiked Mt. Ulap in Benguet I do not want to hike again coz of the tiredness and muscle pains that I experienced after the hike.
Last year while scrolling facebook, I saw a post of travel agency who offered travel package for joiners. And one of the package is including treasure mountain in Tanay Rizal, as per post you will see the sea of clouds without hiking. So I look for the official page of the resort/camping site and checked for the reviews and photos since I really want to see sea of clouds, but I do not want to make myself tired anymore.
Since the birthday of my husband is about to come that month, I decided to book an overnight stay on the resort. Unfortunately on the day of my husband's birthday, there is a storm. Before reaching the resort, the rain starting to fall.
Since it is raining is it possible that we will not be able to see the sea of clouds. Since it is a natural phenomenon that depends on the weather condition. So we decided to cancel our booking and reschedule it some other time.
We decided to reschedule it on our 1st wedding annivesarry. Coincidentally my co workers invited me to join on their motorcycle rides in Marilaque on the scheduled date of our check in. Since our check in time is 4pm we decided to join the rides in the morning.
Our first destination is Regina Rica Church. Someone said to me that those couple who visited this church will be given a child. When we went there I do not have any idea on that belief, that someone just commented on my post on my social media account that we went there. Maybe it is true or it is only coincidence that after a month we found out that I am pregnant, but one thing for sure, our baby is given by our God Almighty.
We supposed to go to KM 90 ecopark, but during this time travel beyond the boarder of Marilaque is not allowed.
Since it is past lunch time we ate in resto along Marilaque highway
After we ate, me and my husband go ahead first since we will going to Treasure Mountain for our overnight stay. While the staff are still fixing out tents we explore the camping site. And infairness to the place, it is awsome and for me it can give you peace of mind and calmness. You will appreciate the place if you really love nature.
Since we did not bring packed foods/snacks we bought some snacks and drinks in the cafeteria inside the resort . We did not bought heavy meal for dinner anymore since we are still fulled from what we ate during late lunch (coz we ate unlimited chicken wings). We sleep early because we are a little bit tired from exploring the whole camping site and from the rides the whole day and we need to wake up early to see the sea of clouds which usually occur 5am in the morning.
I set my alarm at 5am to make sure that we will able to wake up early. And this is the view that welcomed me when I open our tent
Finally I have seen what I wanted to see after 3 years
It give me chills, excitement and happiness that finally I have seen this kind of view. This is also my first time to camp, but unfortunately we did not join to see the bonfire last night since we sleep early.
I know that our priority will change now that we already have a baby. Maybe travel will be now less priority, but I want our baby to see and experience the beauty of nature. Hopefully when the right time come and when we are finacially stable again we will see to it atleast once in a year we will able to travel to feed our souls 😉
Postpartum or artifice drama?
Postpartum is a serious matter, I do not have enough knowledge about this. I just read some article and post about it even before I got pregnant. Now that I already delivered my baby, I am a little bit conscious in everything I feel coz I am afraid that it might hit me.
2 weeks after I have given birth to my baby, me and my husband had a small fight or shall I say I sulked ( feeling ko nag inarte lang talaga ko) just because for a very small reason which is my hunger🤣🤣
It was Sunday morning when my older brother came to our house to fix and removed some part of the pigeon/dove cage in the main yard. Before my brother came my husband is cooking in fire wood in our balcony since my sister have lots of fire wood that was given by our neighbor, so my husband decided to cook on fire wood ( to save some electricity since we are using induction cooker). When my brother came he asked my husband to assist him. Since we are living in the back area of our house, and I cannot go out to go in our front house coz I am taking care of our baby. Its already lunch time but my husband and my brother are still busy in what they are doing so my husband decided to eat outside with my brother and get some rice in the rice cooker since the viand is already outside. When my husband came back he bring those plates and utensils that they used. I waited for him to bring the viand. Around 2 pm I felt hungry. I cannot go out since it is already raining so I chatted my husband that I am looking for my viand("diii asan ulam ko") . But the rain became strong so I chatted him again to put vulcaseal on our roof since there is a rain drop in one portion of the roof during heavy rain. It is already 3pm but my husband did not return to bring my viand, so I just ate our stocked crackers/biscuit since its already late lunch while our baby is sleeping. Thats the time that my husband cameback and saw me eating crackers, he go out again and get viand in the other house. At that moment I felt like crying. When my husband back he ask me if he will going to reheat the food and I said in a sarcastic manner that no need to reheat the food since im not going to eat anymore coz its already late for lunch. Thats the time that I burst into tears and not talked to my husband for hour. He been trying to asked me whats the matter and asking forgiveness if he done wrong makes me more pissed off. He keep on asking forgiveness without knowing what he did wrong. After I released all the annoyanace that I felt by crying, I finally answered all his question and settled the issue.
Around 5 pm he told me that he will go to barbershop to have haircut and ask what I want for snacks. I told him to buy some cheap pizza since I am a bit hungry since I did not eat lunch coz I lost my appetite to what he cooked. Its already 630Pm when he chatted me to tell that theres a long queue on the barbershop which made me pissed off again. In my mind, what that heck he knows that I did not eat lunch and I have been waiting for the pizza, he should buy pizza first so I can eat. I chatted him not to talk to me and blocked him on facebook messenger out of annoyance. Around 7 pm the wife of my cousin came to bring pansit since theres a simple celebration for their son. After I tasted the pansit I unblocked my husband and messaged him to buy kalamansi for the pansit and told him the reason of my annoyance since I am already calm maybe because of the pansit 🤣🤣🤣 since food is life 😁. My husband cameback around 730 without pizza and calamansi since he did not read my message yet. Again I did not talk to him and waited for his apology but it did not happened. He just got quiet after some attemps of talking to me without having a response. Around 9pm he lay down on the bed and fall sleep easily (maybe because of tiredness since they clean our yard )without saying sorry to me that made me pissed off more🤣🤣🤣.
Actually on the start of our relationship , we agreed that if there are issues between us, we need to settle it before we sleep. We should not sleep without saying good night and i love you to each other (teenager yarn🤣🤣), thats why I really get mad at him and started to cry silently. He suddenly woke up and tried his very best to pamper me and says sorry, but this time I still not talking to him and continued my silent cry. He just sit beside our baby's crib and look to our sleeping baby. While my tears keep on falling I cannot understand why I am like that. I am already calm and want to hug my husband but I cant stop myself from crying. Thats the time I search for postpartum symptoms and I found out that tearfulness and mood swings are some of them . Thats the time that I reached out to my husband while crying and ask him what if what I am feeling that time is postpartum . He hug me and told me that it is just a POSTANTRUMS 🤣🤣, which made me smile but he seriously told me later on that if it is postpartum I must fight it and I should keep in my mind that he will always be on my side.
As a new mom, there are things that I am doing now that I never did before. Its hard especially when you are alone with your baby, you cannot do things / household chores coz you always need to prioritize your baby. There are times that you need to pee or poo but you cannot do if your baby is crying. You can not eat on time because you will eat only if your baby is asleep.
Whether it is postpartum or simply drama, it is important that there is someone that you can lean on and talked to when you feel alone. And someone who can understand what you have been through and appreciate what you are doing as a mom.....
Mount Ulap adventure, (Benguet Philippines)
Since I enjoyed my first hike in Mt. Mamaru in Tanay Rizal but did not see the sea of clouds that I really wanted to see. So I searched for Mountain where you can see the sea of clouds with easy trail. And as a result Mount Ulap is one of them with only "pabebe trail" since some who hike on this mountain are kids.
In year 2020 when our lady guard who is also a travel organizer asked me if I want to join the Mt. Ulap adventure I said yes right away.
Since it is a looong travel to Benguet our call time is 9pm so we will able to reach our destination at 4AM.
After more or less 6 hours of travel we reached Benguet around 4am. The weather is super cold as in. Our jackets are not enough to keep us warm since it is really cold there. While our organizer is talking to locals to organize our hiking , I look around to buy something that can add to ease the coldness that I felt. I supposed to buy hand gloves but there is no available so I end up buying scarf.
Groupie before we start
After the registration we already started the adventure
I thought the trail is easy since other says that it is only a pabebe trail. But it was not, although the wind is so cold the trekking made me sweat.
When the sun rise you will appreciate the beauty of nature, it emphasized the beauty of the place. I was expecting to see a beautiful sea of clouds but unfortunately there is only a slight portion.
But still I really appreciated the beauty of it, after the sunrise we continue until we reached the campsite 2
After picture taking in this rock we take our lunch. Thats the time that I felt the tiredness
Since it was almost noon, the sun shine made it hot despite of the blowing of wind. Some of us decided not to continue the trek and not to proceed to camp site 3.
I thought going up to the hill is the hardest part, but on my experience it is harder when we are going down. Thats the moment that I decided not to do hiking anymore.
Yes I love to travel and see the beauty of nature. But I realized that I can see those beauty without tiring myself. I just charged it to experience, that once I was able to hiked in mount Ulap and see the sea of clouds that I have wanted since 2018.
Mt. Ulap is the last mountain that I will hike 😁
Its always a matter of choice
I have read here in read cash the article titled"Did your parents raised you right"( the title catched my attention and comment my insight about it without reading the whole article). Now that I am already a parent that question pop up in my mind. How will I raised my child right?
Well how can you say that you was raised right by your parent? Is it because you became successful? You know how to respect others? You did not do things that are againts the law? You did not do imoral things? You just do things that told you to do by your parents without any hesitation?
Every parents have their own parenting style. There are parents that are strict while some are cool. Some are conservative while some are not. There are also parents that do physical punishment when their child did something wrong while other talk to their child and give lighter punishment. But there are also parents who are irresponsible and abusive.
I remember when I was a child our parents used branch of guava or "sanga ng bayabas" to discipline us or shall I say they use it as "panakot" (since I do not remember that I was hit before). As I grow, it stuck on my mind that I should not do bad things so I will not be hit. And that perception or belief was became my guideline as I grow old that until now I stick on that principle not because I will be hit by guava branch but simply because I know that in my own knowledge it is the right thing to do. I am not saying that I am such a saint or I never did a mistake, of course I have done some but I can say that it is not a worst one. Actually there is time in my life that I almost did a big mistake but at the end, I choose to do what is right.
Although there is a big factor how someone was raised on how they became, I still believe that what ever we became it is because we choose it. There are people that was raised with so much love by their family but ended up worst person while some raised with violence but choose to be good. When we are old enough we can never blame others on what we became because we are old enough to decide. We are solely responsible in all the action that we made. Coz Its always a matter of your choice.
First month of my little one
The time really flies so fast. Its been 1 month since I have given birth to my little one. As a first time parents, me and my husband want to celebrate every milestone of our baby.
Yesterday is her 1st month and we decided to have a simple celebration as thanks giving. Thanks to my staff before who became my friend for the awesome and delicous cake made by her. I never thought that the cake is big since I did not pay for its real price since the baker almost gave it for free
I chose the hello kitty design since my baby already have 2 onesies with this kind of design. Since we do not have budget for her outfit and this 1st month celebration is a budget friendly😂 (coz we do not have extra money for it 🤣). So I only used those available sources. We will make it up to her on her 1st birthday or maybe when I came back to my work and started again to earn. As of this moment we need to save some money coz it is hard that only my husband is earning since all goods are a little bit pricey.
I also created a number balloon that I put in other balloon. To adds up as design for her pictorial 😁I do not know how to call it.
I just bought the number balloon in online shopping for only 5 pesos with free shipping while the pastel macaroon balloons are just left over from the gender reveal that we used months ago.
Since last friday is my husband's birthday and we did not celebrate it aside from giving him a cake, I ordered a bento cake for him to make it a double celebration.
I also bought the cake topper in shoppee for only 15 pesos to adds to its appealing look😁.
At first we plan to cooked for spaghetti, but I found it too hassle plus the fact that all goods now are already pricey and we also have to consider the electricity that it will consume if we will cook since we are using induction cooker due to limited space of our place. So I decided to order pansit malabon to a friend for 450 pesos. I am not sure if my friend gave ito to me in a discounted price since it is bigger bilao than I expected. It supposed to be good for 8 to 10 persons but it is already enough for 12 to 15 persons.
So this is it we were able to celebrate it with minimal expense.
Maybe this is what parenthood is, as a parent we want to give everything to our child at the same time we have to consider our future expenses so we have to be resourceful in order to provide what we thought our kids need in a way that we will not sacrifice our budget for the next cut off.
My first hiking experience
Travel is my favorite thing to do. I feel so happy to be in different places coz I am a certified lakwatsera/wanderer 🤣. I am more a beach person, eventhough I am not a good swimmer. I love to swim and love to hear the ocean waves that touches my feet and to see the fantastic beauty of the sunset. The view of sunset gave calmness to me thats why I love it.
I have seen post of some of my friends in social media when they hike, but it never got my attention since my thought about it, is that hiking is a tiring activity and I am a little bit lazy so I felt that hiking is not for me.
In year 2018, I watched an episode of TV patrol that featured Mount Daraitan in Tanay Rizal and emphasize the beauty of the sea of clouds and it got my attention and excitement. Since I am a certified lakwatsera I set the hiking trip and ask who wants to join. After I finalize the list of joiners I set the date.
Our call time is 3AM in ortigas since we are all working here and we have to travel early so we can catch up the view of the sea of clouds.
While waiting for others we ate first since food is life🤣 Thanks to chef who sponsored the pizza
3Am is the call time but unfortunately our service came past 4 Am. Aside from late, the driver is a little bit slow since he is not also familiar in where we are going, so goodbye sea of clouds 🤣🤣. If I am not mistaken we reached the registration area around 6 or 7 am. Since we are already late, hikers for Mount Daraitan is already fully booked so the tour guide offer us Mount MAmara, as per the locals the trekking and trail are easier compare to mount Daraitan.
So we started walking
At first the activity is easy, and we starting to appreciate the beauty of the nature as we passed through to the Tinipak river that have some rock formation which added the beauty of it.
Since we are already late, it is a looong and tiring activity we decided to eat first so we will have power and strength.
After few hours of trekking we started to feel the tiredness
I almost want to give up, but the tour guide is keeping to tell us that the peak is already near.
After almost 5 hours we reached the peak of mount Mamara
After looooong hours of hiking, the view of the nature gave me the fulfilling feeling. Thats the time I understand why many people loves to hike. The fulfilling experience will definitely make you want to hike another mountain to see different view. Despite of not seing the sea of clouds (which is my main goal why I decided to hike), tiredness and muscle pains I can say that I enjoyed it. Seing the nature in a different angle is such a wonderful experience.
After the hiked , the tour guide offered to us to visit also the cave with beautiful rock formation inside, since I am deadly tired and I do not like being in a bottom of some close place it make me feel suffocated so I declined and choose to take a nap while others went there. After their tour cave we went swimming to Tinipak river. The water of that river is awesome you will love the cold flowing water.
As what we have seen or read, people travel to live. Coz "we travel not to escape life but for life not to escape us". So to all young out there travel before you run out of time. So when you look back when you are old you have a story to tell, that you can say that you have enjoy your life once in a while and been to different places.
A throwback quick tour to happy island, Catanduanes Philippines
Before Covid19 pandemic we usually visited every summer our parents in province of Catanduanes.
2012 when I appreciated the beauty of this island. There are two ways to get there one is tru land and sea... Approximately 12 hours travel tru land and 2 1/2 to 3 hours tru sea.
While the other one is tru air. But if i am not mistaken there is only 1 airline that travel here and it is Cebu Pacific. Im not sure if the airport is already renovated since its been years since I traveled tru air.
If you are a nature lover or love adventure you may try to visit this island. It is also known as Happy Island. It was already featured in different TV shows such as KMJS and Byahe ni Drew. Since it is an island it is surrounded by beautiful beaches. And I am looking forward to visit all those beaches.
One of the famous beaches is in Twin Rock resort. I visited this place in 2013. It has clear and fine sands. If I remember right entrance fee is around 30 to 50 pesos. We stayed overnight and rented one of the villa.
They also have swimming pools and offer some activity such as kayaking, zip lines and more. Since its almost 10 years since I visited this place there are possibilities that they have new activities
This is their zipline. It is not too long but you will enjoy it.
We have also visited Amenia beach. It has a white sandbar and super clear water. But it is better to visit this place early as 6 am morning so you will enjoy the beach before the low tide. I visited this place back in 2017. Entrance fee is less than 50
There is also Mamangal beach same with amenia, you will not appreciated it if there is a lowtide. But you will definitely love it before low tide. I visited this beach year 2018. If I remember correctly we did not pay for the entrance fee, we only pay for the cottage.
There are also falls, but unfortunately I only visited 1, which is Maribina. Entrance fee is more or less 20 pesos. I also visited it in 2013. There are lot of tourist spot you can enjoy in this island if you really love nature to unwind and to release stress.
The greenfields around will definitely calm your mind. The first photo was taken 2012 while the 2nd one is taken 2018.
We also have our own beach 🤣🤣 which is few walks away from our backyard no need to pay for an entrance fee 😆 and you will enjoy unlimited swimming anytime of the day. It has clear water and fine sand too but the color of the sand is not white. When I am in the province I will woke up early to see the sunrise and enjoy my coffee or just to have a morning walk
Or make tambay while listening to the peaceful waves. Well who will say that this place is just near our backyard.
And to see the beautiful sunset
Or to see the famous Mayon Volcano from the distance.
We also have this mini kubo tambayan in our backyard that surrounded by trees.
Aside from missing my parents I really miss visiting this place. There are lots of tourist spot here that I am planning to visit before the pandemic, there is this place called Binurong point that has a resemblance or almost like a part of Batanes. And Puraran beach which is a surfing beach and many more.
Same with other this island has also its flaws. You will not love it if you are here during rainy season or there is a super typhoon since it was surrounded by ocean. And since our house here is super near in the beach it is prone to floods if the typhoon is super strong . Actually it is the reason why my mom had a mild stroke when one of the super typhoon hit the island back in 2019.
Despite of its flaws I will definitely comeback here and tried to visit those places with my family in Gods will 😊🙏.
When to burn bridges?
In my life I met lot of people aside from relatives, schoolmate, coworkers/colleague. I have limited number of friends but I can say that those who stays are the solid one, some of them are my friend since grade school and some are my friends for more than a decade. But there are also some of my friend in grade school and high school that I do not have any communication anymore. I do not know why but it just happened, I miss the bonding moments since I really considered two of them as one of my closest friend, I tried to reached out before but I feel like Im just the only one who want to maintain the friendship or maybe they are too busy so I just let it go, I just told myself atleast I tried to communicate.
I also have friends/ troupe during college days, it is very rare that we have conversation, I can say that mostly the conversation started if one of us posted an old picture in facebook or if there is one of us is celebrating our birthdày.
There are also acquaintances and friends from my previous jobs, whom I randomly chat with and some are totally no communication at all. There are also some of my staffs that became my friend and till now we have constant communication. And there are some staff that I considered my friends but I found out later on that some of them are not real.
There are things that are not beyond our control, and there are times that our thoughts are not the same with others despite of the closeness or moments you have shared with them. Not talking to those person does not mean that they are already not part of your life anymore. Maybe they have their valid reason. I believe that there are no permanent in this life coz everything may change and things happened for a reason.
As we grow older our perception in life and priority changes. Personally the line " I don't get mad, I get even" is not applicable to me anymore. But one thing for sure I will never forget what you have done me wrong. And I will also remember what you did good to me and will always remember that. And the line " forgive and forget" is not applicable to me either. I can forgive but I will never forget, if you have done me wrong I can be very civil enough but that's all I can give, I can never trust that person again. And I am a type of person that if you made me feel that I am not welcome in your life, fine I will not make way to fill in and go on with my life. For me I do not want to burn bridges with anyone unless that person did something really bad to me or betrayed me .
There is nothing wrong in burning bridges with someone if you think that it will make you better. Coz for me burning bridges is a way of letting go those toxic people that may take away the peace of my mind.....
Struggle of a first time mom
Yes it is, struggle is real😁
I know it is hard to be a mom, what more if you're a first time mom. Although we have an idea to be a mom, it still different when you are already on the actual situation.
The first time I embrace/ touched my child there is a different kind of happiness that I felt, the moment that she was put over my chest after I delivered her. Since I delivered my daughter on a public hospital and the covid pandemic is not yet over, visitor/ assistant/watcher is not allowed inside the hospital. I have to move on my own and take good care of my little one despite of the pain that I still felt.
The first time she cried and I need to feed her with my breastmilk, (since formula milk is not allowed,) I doesn't know how I will be able to fed her since my nipples are inverted and it is hard for her to suck it since her lips is too small during that time. I feel rattled since she keep on crying coz she was not able to drink my breastmilk. Im glad that one of the patient who was my room mate on the recovery room gave some tips and advice (since she already have 2 kids) on how to do it and told me that do not stress myself since I will learn everything eventually.
Since I am the youngest, I do not have any experience in taking care of child especially babies. Its really hard for me when my baby is crying especially when I aready checked all the possible reason why she cried but she still kept on crying , I felt of crying too 😂.
Being a mom made me paranoid, everything that I felt as unusual that concern my baby, I will ask for some advice or idea to other mom and to my relative who is a RN or search tru google or youtube so that I will be guided or I will have the idea if it is normal or not.
I remember what the head nurse in the hospital told us on the recovery room, "there is no manual for being a mom". Yes it is, we will learn it eventually but there are times that I wish that there is so that we will be able to understand easily what our baby needs. My journey of motherhood just started and I have still a loooong journey to lifetime.
Having this angel gave me happiness despite of all the sleepness night and paranoa. As what other say enjoy this moment since time flies to fast.
Being a mom is a responsibility that we will carry until the rest of our lives....
My pregnancy journey
November last year when we found out that we are having our baby. It gave me mixed emotions, I am happy and excited, at the same I was afraid. There is a fear....at the back of my mind what if it will not develop same with our first baby that we lost last 2019 🥺. That's why at first I chose a private hospital and look for an OB that will take good care for me during my pregnancy.
My pregnancy is not that easy, I was adviced by my OB to bed rest for 1 month and to take adhesive drugs or pampakapit for 2 months. And need to undergo some series of laboratory test over and over again. I never thought that my pregnancy will cost us a lot😂😂, because I thought we will only spend huge amount during the delivery of our baby 😁. I thought we are already ready financially and emotionally... but we are not, since our savings already dried up before I deliver our baby and thank to God we found a public hospital with good service compare to other. And thank to our family on both side we were able run to them during the hard time.
Night of July 23 when I was brought to the hospital when I felt tolerable pains, but after almost 12 hours my OB decided to discharge me since my cervix is only at 3cm. I was discharged at 5 pm of July 24, but after I get out of the hospital I felt pain, this time its more painful compare to what I felt the other night, so me and my husband decided to look for a apartelle or motel near the hospital coz it will cost more if we decided to go home since our house is really far from the hospital. After we checked in at 6pm the pains came frequently. Around 9pm I told my husband that the pain is not tolerable anymore and we decided to go back to the hospital. 9pm of July 24 I was admitted and my labor continues.
3:43 AM of July 25 I delivered our baby by normal delivery, thank to God we were able to make it🥰
Meet our little one. The greatest gift that was given to us. Our precious little one... Keisha Miles😊
All the pain and expenses are worth it having this little angel. We hope and we pray that we were be able to provide all her needs and be the best parents that we can be...
My high school life....
After I saw the clip video of memories posted in facebook by one of my high school classmate a while ago, It made me confuse why I was not there in any filed picture, am I introvert during high school ( may sariling mundo ba). Did I not enjoyed my high school life that much? Do I have friends? Am I a KJ (killjoy) person? Or it just happened that I have different set of friends to the person who post the video clip.
Many of us says that high school life is the best, well for me I can say it is, because this is the stage of my life where I met and have lots of friend and have peer aside from my friends. This is also the stage where your principle will be challenge, whether to do stupid things or hold on to things that you believe and chose the principle that what your parents taught you.
I remembered when I was in high school I have this set of friends, with different characters, one of them lived near the school campus where we used to stay when we have extra time or need to do some group projects. There are also my friend that I runned to in time of troubles and used to visit me in our house everytime that I did not go to school ( actually she's a friend from grade school until now). And there is also one who lives near our house before, and when we transfered to other place I used to sleep in their house everytime that there is a school program that will end late ( since we transfered a little bit far, it will be hard for me to commute, and my parents knows my friend and her family so they know that I will be safe).
Grew up and raised by conservative and strict parents aside from having 4 older brothers, I can say that I used to do things that what was told me to do. I was so afraid to do mistake, I already set my limitation in everything based on what my parents set. While some high school students started to learn how to drink alcoholic beverages, I never tried it coz I grew up in an envoronment that drinking alcohol is for boys only, since I never seen my mother and older sister doing it .The first time that I tasted alcoholic beverages is on my 18th birthday where my older brother make a punched drink ( I do not have any idea that the drink has alcohol, I thought it was a pure juice) and it has an effect on me, it made me a little bit talkative, the next day I found that I was hit by the punched that I drink, I decided that I will never drink again. And until now I never tried to drink alcohol aside from 2 bottles of san mig light which I set as my limitation.
Seing the video clip made me realize that I have lot of things that I missed during high school life, but it doesn't mean that I regretted the choice I made coz if I ever I have a chance to turn back the time, I will still choose the choice that I made which is to follow my parents.
There is a line that one of the media influencer stuck on my mind " Enjoy your youth but never destroy your future", now that I will be soon to be a mom I do not know how will I be able to emphasize it to my child, coz seing some of the teenager in this generation gives me fear.......
Gender reveal
After seven months we were able to know the gender of our baby. Although all we want is a healthy baby I was hoping for a baby boy ( oh felt guilty to my baby since she is a girl we even called her Jayden everytime that we are talking to her in my tummy since we thought that she was a boy). Before the ultrasound there are lots of people saying that it was a boy, since Im too lazy to fix myself, coz I really found it tiring to to comb my hair or do anything so I decided to cut my hair super short. Since mostly of them says that it was a boy I expected it as a boy. But we did not bought yet any baby things since I want to make sure of the gender.
On the day of my ultrasound at first I do not want to know the gender of our baby since I want to have a gender reveal since I have lots of clips that I watched regarding it, but I cannot control my excitement. My husband accompannied me to the hospital but unfortunately he was not allowed to enter the ultrasound room so I am only one who entered the room. While the doctor was checking the baby tru ultrasound I can't help it but to ask for the gender 🤣( at the back of my mind I will just do the gender reveal to my husband since he was not allowed to get inside). But when I get out of the room and see my husband patiently waiting and ask for the result I can't help it but to share my excitement to him 🤣🤣🤣🤣. So the gender reveal happened for the sake of all our friends and relatives.
I still have 2 months to go with my pregnancy journey, it really make me excite everytime the baby is kicking and feel worried if she is not doing any movement. It excite me to buy kikay things now that I now that she is a girl, but I controlled myself since im afraid that of I buy things early it will just a waste if she will use it in a shorter time since according to all babies grow faster. I never thought that having her will give so much joy in me. Yes she's our greatest joy - keisha
Salute to all responsible Ate and Kuya
As a youngest child, I admired those older children who sacrifices their self for the sake of their younger siblings, and those who are willing to help their family without asking for any return and love their family unconditionally.
Although I am not close to my eldest brother because of his strict attitude when I was a child, I saw how he sacrificed for our family. He worked at the young age just to help our parents financially. He even stop his studies to give way to my other brother who decided to continue his studies and help him financially. My eldest brother did not finished his course because the company he was working closed and decided to get married at the age of 24. Among of us he is the only one who did not finished his studies, although it's his choice still there's a factor that he do not want to bother our parents and did not want to keep up with our other siblings. While my elder sister did not take the four year course that she wanted because she knows that it will be hard in our family if she will take it while my other brother took the 5 year course. So instead of taking the course that she wanted she took the vocational course which is 2 years. I have seen lots of sacrifices of my ate and kuya in our family maybe this is the reason why I pursue myself to achieve my goals and to stand on my own.
I have met and known lots of people who are responsible, and love their family unconditionally wether they are the eldest, youngest or whenever they fit in that order . My sister in law for example, she is the eldest she sacrificed her own wants, she took the responsibility in their family despite of her wants, she chose to stay and chose to understand the situation that their family is facing. Those kind of sacrifices that instead of thinking their selves and happiness they chose to help, those decisions are one of a kind. Thinking of your family first before thinking your happiness and peace of mind first.
I do not know where those people got their patience and perseverance to stay in the situation where they are, even though they do not want it. I know some of them do not want to be in their situation and chose to keep it in their hearts, but some of them are vocal about it but still they cannot do things to change the situation out of love and concern to their family and I salute to them for choosing and stand on their choice. I just hope that all their sacrifices were paid of by means of love and respects that they deserve 😉
Thank you to this platform I was able to express my thoughts and earn some money at the same time 🥰
My knight and shining armour
In our life, we have someone that we can lean on in times of troubles. For me I have my 2 older brother that I usually runned to everytime that I am in trouble, of course aside from our God whom I turned to everytime that I feel helpless.
I have this brother who spoiled me with foods when he was still single, although he was already married during my college days he was always there to help me during times of troubles in terms of financial if my salary is not enough to cover my tuition fee or in the time that I already taking up my OJT where I had to stop to work due to conflict on my schedule. And my other brother who I used to run to when I need help until now, actually all of us in our family.
I remember when I was in grade school, if I have art projects I always asked for my brother's help since I do not know how to draw (computer is not in demand before only manual) I will just left a note before I sleep on what my project is and when I woke up the next morning my project is ready and I usually got a grade of 90% and up, coz my brother is really talented when it comes to art😁. There are also times that when I need things that I cannot afford because of its brand, after finding it in the mall I will tell my brother that if he can buy me this, and he will just tell me that lets meet up after his office hours and he will buy what I want.
I have lots of memories where my brothers are always there to help me to finished my studies. I am glad that my parents taught us to help each other because we are family, that's why despite of the struggles in my life before I was able to finished what I started. When I got a stable job thats the time that I have tried to returns all favor that I received even though not on them but to my nieces and nephews. Although I know that I cannot pay the debt of gratitude that I owed to them I tried to return it to other member of our family.
Even though now that I am married, in time of troubles I still can count on them, but there are times that I feel ashamed because they are the one who support our parents after they were hospitalized since their pension is not enough for the expenses. And I know that they also have their responsibilities in their own family. And I am also glad that my sisters in law did not bother theirself and not making an issue out of it maybe because they have their own job. I remember myself when I am still earning I did not also bother myself if my husband will give money to his mom , coz I understand it since my brothers are like that.
This summer we were able to have a family outing in the beach because one of my brother sponsored it because I really wanted to unwind and thanks to him my wish was granted. I am glad and thankful that I grew up in a family that full of love and know how to help each other. Our family is not perfect (well who does have) bit I am happy that I am part of it 😉
My thoughts and worries....
After the happiness that I felt the moment that my pregnancy was confirmed, I have lot of thoughts and worries that circulated at the back of my mind. I was so excited that finally the God gave us what we are praying for, and worries at the same time if we could be a good parents or can we provide all the things that she need.
On the start of my pregnancy journey, me and my husband already decided on which hospital I am going to deliver our baby, since 2 of my relatives delivered their babies on that hospital and they recommend their OB as one one the best plus the fact that its the cheapest private hospital near in our place (since the nearest public hospital decline me because I am at high risk and they endorse me to the other public hospital which is served as one the covid center in NCR which I do not want to try since I heard lots of negative things about that hospital). So me and my husband chose the private hospital, at first I am not worrying since we still have funds, but this past few weeks I started to worry since all our savings was already dried up because of additional expenses such as laboratories fees, vitamins and medicine. We even cannot paid the money that we borrowed to my father in law, since my husband's income is not enough anymore for all our expenses. That's the time that I talked to my husband if we really can afford the hospital that we chose, yes I will receive a maternity benefit but is this will be enough to cover all the expenses that we will be facing? Since I asked one of my relative who delivered her baby last year how much they paid, and it shocked me that for a normal delivery they paid almost 70K! Its simply because of the pandemic, there are lots of extra fees. This made me overthink until now that made me stressed, since my father had a mild stroke few weeks ago, I cannot ask for my brother's help since he is already the one who finances our parents. So I decided to ask about the public hospital which is the center of pandemic, but unfortunately I heard lots of negative things about it. We want to be practical but we want to ensure my safety and safety of our baby.
I also looked for alternative hospital but all public hospitals are really far in our place. In times like this I know that God is in control but it doesn't remove all the worries that I feel. I do not want to open up the worries that I felt to my husband coz I do not want him to feel the stress that I am feeling right now. I am trying to feel at ease and not worry at all but it always hits me everytime that I am alone, I can't help it but to overthink especially that I felt some symptoms of pre eclampsia. Some said its always mind over matters but there are time we are in a situation that we cannot control our mind despite of all the prayers that we did. Despite of all my worries I am excited to meet our little one. We hope and we prayed for my safe and normal delivery 😊
What boredom brought me coz of my pregnancy
November last year when we found out that I am pregnant, when I felt that I have always heartburn and feel acidic every morning that made me look for hot soup in order to ease what ever I feel. Me and my husband been looking forward to have a baby, especially me since I am not getting any younger. This gift of life from God is really a blessing, although we are not financially stable yet since we just only started and we not yet meet our target emergency fund since I know that I will be on forced leave once I got pregnant plus the fact that my mom is currently in recovery stage due to mild stroke. But still I am glad and thankful that God gave us what we have prayed for.
After I declared my pregnancy to my company I was forced to stop working, it's one of the biggest adjustment for me so far since I used to work and used to earn my own money. Before once I already set aside some portion of our money into our savings, did the grocery and paid our utilities I will not bother myself anymore to compute or budget the remaining money since I know that after few days we will be having our salary. Before when buying grocery I will not look for the cheapest brand or will torn between buying our needs and wants. And I will not bother myself to questioned my husband if he will buy something that is not necessity. But now that I am totally dependent to my husband everything changed. There are times that I feel ashamed to my husband since he need to shoulder all our expenses including laboratories and vitamins that I needed (coz our savings already dried up) I am glad that the God gave me a responsible, understanding and kind husband (which I never thought that he would be 😁 coz he used to be mabarkada before).
In order to help my husband or lessen our expenses I look for some way to earn extra, actually that's why I am here in read cash 🤣🤣🤣 but unfortunately maybe this is not really for me, but atleast I have a platform where I can bring up my thoughts 😁. I even planned to apply to be a virtual assistant but unfortunately my laptop is not in good condition anymore (well what do I expect I purchased it back in 2013 😂) plus the fact that I need an stable connection and a quiet environment. I even planned to sell cooked viand and other cooked food but our location is not good for my target market. Last February I end up selling prepaid load and ice candy to take advantage of summer season, and I am glad that I was able to pay our electric bills out of my profit from selling those ice candies. I have been dreaming and wanting to have a small business of a sari sari store or a mini grocery someday coz I do not have a plan to stay in a company until I got old, and I want to be a hands on mom to our little one, I want to be on her/his side in every step to see how he/she will grow.
Although I still have to wait for 2 months before I see our little one, I felt that the motherhood started to change my perspective in life. Being a plain housewife for almost 5 months now, I started wanting to stay at is and looking forward to take good care of our little one. I hope and I pray that God will always keep our family always safe, strong and healthy.
@mhel_dita
