Approaching 30

Strong independent woman. Promising career. Owned a house & lot / Condo. Owned a car. Financial freedom.

That 's how I imagined my life would be.

At a very young age, I set up a goal to achieved. I wanna finished my studies from elementary to college with flying colors. I had to be good so that I will remain as the Top Student. Suprisingly, target unlocked. I was known as a Top Student from my basic to college years! How good that would be!? Everything seems to be going the way I imagined it to be. So far. . .

Real world begins after you go out the comfort zones of school and universities. Even though you have a good academic records, you can't easily land to a job you want. There's a bunch of applicants out there that are far better than you. You have to proved how good you are among your co-applicants wether they are more experienced or not.

I have a degree in Business Administration but ended up as a contractual cashier in a supermarket. Funny to some, but that's the reality. After a 6-months contract, here we go again, send resumè, attend interview here and there. After two months, I landed to a job I wanted ever since. An office job.

Working as an office staff may not be physically tiring but can make you mentally exhausted. The stressed in meeting the deadlines, reports, pleasing your boss and even your boss assistant are one hell of a stress.

I've been in this industry for almost 7 years. Working environment is good. Colleagues are good. Working schedule is good. Work benefits and wages is so so.

Almost 8 years since I finished my college. Did I managed to achieved my goal? Nope.

No savings. No car owned. Career? Maybe none. House? Yes, but monthly amortized. Am I happy? No and Yes.

Maybe this may not the life I imagined, this is not the life I targeted since then but I am happy. I believed that I am a work in progress and I am excited to see what's waiting for me ahead.

Crisis

In a blink of an eye, years passed by and as I go back through years, so many things had happened. I had experienced the most heartbreaking moments in my life not just once but thrice, but you can't dwell with it forever. You had to move on with life, even though it hurts...you have to.

There are times that I wish I can go back as a kid. Being an adult, it is so tiring. Paying bills, rent, going to work, having a healthy lifestyle, family problems,financial problems, lovelife, self satisfaction... too many things to accomodate that can exhaust you physically and mentally.

Approaching to 30-year old in 3 months. Maybe most of you in late 20's to late 30's experienced the same dilemma as mine. The existential crisis. Questioning our purpose and existence in life. Why am i here? Why am i not succesful? Why I'm not like him/her? I'm working hard, why is everything not going my way? Is there something wrong with the way i lived? What if I die? And so many questions that can brought you in deep thoughts.

It is normal. Having that thought once in a while is normal. It can be experienced when you have dissatisfaction with what's happening in your life. What's important is how will you overcome that phase.

We all know that life is unfair, life is hard and in times of darkness like this, we know that it is important for us to focus on the light.

If like me, you're experiencing something like this, don't feel down too long. Adjust your viewpoint. Make this as an oppurtunity for you. Start doing what is necessary; then do the possible. Review your journey and make changes. And suddenly, you're doing the impossible.

We can achieved our goal. We can do it. 😊 We can overcome it.

Thank you for reading 💞