@marcmire
Amor.
ππ¦π¨π« Even the harshest climates of the world, Would ever stand against us two lovers, Like thousand a march would our voice be heard Love itself would be the one that conquers- When the universe separates our place, I will navigate the daring path of- The depths of the ocean vowing the chase- To the ends of the Earth, you, I found love. They will never extinguish the wildfire, It will grow, even Eros bats an eye, Higher like the nature of my desire, Darling, hold my hand, we would never die. Love, a cure for continuous disparity. A poison for those who lost clarity. - **Marcmire**
18 comments
Nice romantic poem.
Much appreciated!
May I know if you have used tranlator for this?
Nope, I've only used English medium for my pieces.
It sounded better when I translate it to Malay but a bit upside down when I read it in English. I like the message inside but I need something more for the community. Like thousand a march made me confused. Just a suggestion, would it be better if, Like a thousand march... What do you think?
I see, I bet you're not that familiar with Shakespearean sonnets? This piece is inspired by the late great writer's technique in some sorts.
No. I have heard of Shakespeare but I haven't read a lot of his writing. Which sonnet are you referring to? Let me give it a read and I'll read yours again.
Every sonnet; Take note of the measurements though. Just like his writing in Old English, I jumbled words that may sound really off with the proper grammar standards to make it sound more archaic. Making the reader have the time to decipher the piece with his/her own understanding.
If you mean William Shakespeare, I love his sonnet 18. He is not writing jumbled words. It is very organized and expresses beautifully.
I'm not saying he's jumbling words, I jumbled words to make it sound archaic like he does. Old English and modern English combined.
Let me read it again.
It's okay if it's not your type of a piece, my works are mostly inclined by the self interpretation of the readers at the same time, giving them the chance to discern what I really want to perceive.
If it is not my type of piece, I will not spend my time to comment and reply to you. Do not be discouraged by my words. I spent time for you because I believe that you are good.
I get your point. I am deeply humbled, thank you.
I am starting to get your points of view. For the first paragraph, I still think that it sounds better if it goes as *like a thousand match* and remove *ever* from *would ever*. The second paragraph, I have to read it on one breath to get the hidden mean in. For the last part, I love it. This is merely my opinion as your reader and moderator of SST: Poems.
I appreciate your opinion, thank you very much, your criticism would really help me in my improvement.
Wow, what a beautiful poem about love! β€ I hope to read more poems from you. I'm loving the way you convey the message of your poem.
very sweet poem, thanks for sharing