Kelsie

2 35

Written by

Loves all things cute... be real, be true, be you.

3 years ago

In community: Freewriting(c99e)

Topics: Freewriting

“Look at that cute girl, so bubbly and chatty. She is the same age as you. Why can’t you be like her?” Kelsie remembered her mother chiding when she was younger. Her mother’s glare and the stare always gave her shivers.

Kelsie had no answers. She didn’t know why she was not like the rest of the kids that her mother seemed to like. All she could do was to keep quiet and to cry within first before crying to herself in bed, talking to her teddy bears which her father bought for her. She always found comfort talking to them.

At the age of six, when Kelsie started to understand things, she realized how she was often compared to other kids her age. It could be anyone her mother knew; her cousins, her mother’s friends’ kids, her friends and Kelsie was never like them, not that she wanted to anyway. Kelsie was a quiet one as a young child. She didn’t like to talk, she wasn’t chatty like other kids. She didn’t enjoy playing with other kids either because her mother kept comparing her to them.

She didn’t like to eat either. She hated meat and she would chew the meat in her mouth until there was no more taste but yet, she couldn’t swallow. In the end, she would spit the meat out and throw it away. She couldn’t stand eggs or cheese and she knew her mother always had a headache feeding her.

Kelsie thought she gave her mother a hard time considering she was always being scolded. At the age of tweleve, she tried to make it up by helping out with the chores. Her mother need not tell her and Kelsie would do them voluntarily. She would mop the floor the best way she knew how, every morning before she went to school and after school, she would wipe the furniture, and prepare lunch.

As much as possible, Kelsie trained herself to be independent, able to take care of herself and hopefully, one that no one needed to worry about. But her mother seemed to be unhappy with her all the time. She didn’t like her choice of clothes or her choice of books.

She had hoped that her mother would go easy on her but that did not happen. Kelsie didn’t understand why her mother not want to accept that she was who she was, a quiet girl, not chatty like her cousins or her friends. She was not adorable and cute like them. She thought she was quite the odd one among her friends and her cousins.

“Why does mother like comparing me with others? Why does mother hate her?” Kelsie frequently thought to herself and each time, her eyes would well up. She couldn’t understand and she didn’t know how to make her mother happy. She kept trying but nothing seemed to work.

She wondered sometimes too if she was her mother’s child. Maybe she was adopted or maybe she was given away because her own mother couldn’t take care of her. Maybe. Kelsie brushed away the thought but it was hard as she tried to make sense of it.

Whenever she was sad, her aunt seemed to know. Usually she would play monopoly with her aunty and Kelsie liked rolling the dice. After that, her aunt bought her a dice soft toy. It cheered her up a little rolling the dice when she went to bed.

In school, Kelsie studied as hard as she could and she got good grades most of the time but it seemed never enough. The year she did well, she felt quite proud of herself. When she asked for her mother to sign the report card, her mother signed but she threw the card to the floor. Kelsie was shocked. When her mother walked away without saying a word, Kelsie walked over slowly to pick up her card and went to her room to complete her homework while crying silently.