Hidden intentions

I get a little weary when someone I haven’t heard from for a long time and one whom I am not close to, suddenly appeared out of the blue and asks how am I doing. I become wearier when they start asking personal questions as though we are old friends although we were not to begin with. I get cautious too when someone I just knew becomes too nice to me and too close for comfort.

I have had experiences with ex-colleagues who would find me through social media platforms, or if they knew my mobile number, would suddenly leave me a message to ask how I was doing. At first, I thought it was harmless and I would reply without thinking much about it until… until… they started to sell me things indirectly.

They don’t usually start off the conversation straight with it but would beat around the bush first, talking about the weather and try to appear concerned about our wellbeing. Then, when it starts with “Have you heard of ….” or “Do you know I am selling this now?”, that is when it all starts. They would go on and on about it for as long as you entertain them.

I do want to support them, don't get me wrong but sometimes, the method which they choose to approach, is just too superficial and pretentious. It becomes too obvious and insincere. It is a tough balance to achieve.

Each time, I had hoped it to be different but it was always the same story over and over again. The story usually would be that they had started a new business venture, either in direct selling company or in wealth management or a new product line. Sometimes, it was just to get some information from me about someone else or about a gossip that they have heard from someone else about something that happened somewhere.

It was last week when I received a voice message from an ex-colleague. It started with a very warm greeting of hello and how I was doing, the kind that goes “hey, how are you dear” with a lot of enthusiasm. A little too warm I thought at first but I continued to listen to the message.

Then, she started to give updates about herself and what she has been up to. She moved on to her current business, a therapy service to help stressed minds and how it was doing quite well. She also took the time to highlight her clientele and how well she was doing. Mind you, this was all in a voice message. She took the time to leave me an almost five minute voice message and at the end of it, she asked to not be a stranger and to lets catch up.

I was speechless by the end of the message, unsure what to make of it. I had wanted to be happy that she thought of me and called me up or rather bothered to leave me a long message but what exactly was she trying to tell me in that long message? Did she really want to catch up with me or was it just a put up front to sell me her service?

I wasn’t sure but I couldn’t help but to lean towards the angle that she had ulterior motives of wanting to sell me her service. I was trying very hard to think positively that she truly wanted to catch up with me but I can’t help but think that it wasn’t the case. I didn’t return her call and I was glad she didn’t call me back.

One of my ex managers used to employ a method with those he met and that he would first give a hundred percent mark to all he meets. Then, slowly, as he got to know them better, he would either add more points or minus them based on their actions.

I quite liked the idea and I tried to employ the same strategy with all of whom I met, either face-to-face or online. But the challenge nowadays is the growing number of people who scam or has ulterior motives or intentions, each with an agenda of their own, each wanting to achieve a goal by their actions that by the time we realize it, it may be too late.

Some things that sound and look too good to be true, most times are. When someone calls to say we won something or we are in line to win something that is when the alert antenna shoots upright straight and we should become very weary ad cautious.

Most of the time, I try not to over think things. I would give a benefit of the doubt and listen to what they have to say and offer. Who knows, it could be something worth listening to or something that may be good after all. But so far, my doubts have not been cleared. It has come to a point when I would just avoid them altogether. I would just stop replying.

Why is it that most people have intentions or some may say, hidden agendas? Is it inevitable? Can we not have simple conversations without any ulterior motive? It is saddening to see how the world has become sometimes. I guess it is the state of the world that we live in currently.

I have no doubt there are some who are truly genuine and I know in my circle of friends and acquaintances, who do call just to say “hi” and nothing else. Those who are genuine and just wanted to know how we are doing. I appreciate them and I do that too to some of my friends from childhood, college days and from my ex workplace as well as long distance relatives whom I have not met for years, people with no other intentions but a genuine heart.