One man’s calm may not be another man’s calm but each will have its own.
When I was studying, I worry. I worried about exams, I worried about understanding the syllabus, I worried that I might fail and not be able to graduate.
I think it is human nature to worry and it is inevitable that we have a long list of things to worry about. Life, family, love, work, money, house, bills and the list goes on. While we are naturally worry-warts, some of us are capable to overcome the worry while some may not be as good at it. Worry slowly transforms to anxiety and if we do not control it, if we do not keep the worry and anxiety in-check, it can lead to depression which is a place nobody wants to be at.
The days when I was studying for exam, I would read for maybe ten minutes at my desk, and I would then walk to the kitchen to find something to munch, bringing my book along. I would munch while reading another ten minutes, and then walk to the living room. I would spend another ten minutes of reading before walking to the balcony to look at my plants in the garden.
It was my calm that worked then, to help me not worry too much about exams, but maybe it was a wee bit too relaxed for my family’s liking. In the end, I did all right, not too bad but not that great either. It was enough for me to graduate, which was my priority then.
At work, during times of intense datelines, my calm was putting on my earphones and listened to my favourite songs. My favourite songs ranged from movies soundtracks to instrumental to hip hop to rock ballads to romantic ballads depending on what I needed to complete.
Sometimes I listened to songs that I would move and sing along, especially when I was crunching numbers and when I needed to prepare reports. It was calming in an odd way that motivated me at the same time.
My colleagues didn’t understand how I could have music blasting in my ears and me head banging away while working on a spreadsheet but it worked for me. I couldn’t care less with them staring at me each time they walked pass my workstation. I needed to finish what I needed to and I did it with my way.
Before any presentation, my way of calm was to practice, practice and practice what I would be saying. When my mind kept thinking and worry about it, the best way was to practice and to gain confidence. It helped calm my nerves to know what I was going to say in front of an audience.
On days when I have a long list of things to do, if it bothered me too much until I couldn’t sleep, I would do some of it first, to get a bit started at least, so that the next day wouldn’t be too packed. If it was an email that needed to be written to address an issue, I would prepare a draft first, type out the points and save it for the next day.
Sometimes, when something is not within my control, and I feel shortness of breath, worrying about it, I would look for things to do, to keep my mind distracted, for example cleaning or some needlework or just watch the telly to shut off the mind from the problems that had no solutions as yet. Solutions can sometimes appear in the midst of distraction.
When I worry about my job or when I worry about money, I would take some time to think of alternatives, to discuss with the ones I can talk to, to find ideas and to get online to find other means of earning. It helps to bring some sense of assurance that it is not the end of the world if we try to do something about it.
I think it is important to find these little ways that can help bring some sanity in times of worry. It is these little methods of finding calm that works for me, depending on the situation, in the different phases of life that helps to keep going and to breathe easier.
It helps me too to think it over, think about alternatives and write them down. I make a plan and with that the problem is solved.