3 December 2021

3 December 2021

Dear Diary,

 I am back today. I decided that I must make time to write to you every few days. Like Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no try.". How very true. When we say that we will try, it brings a meaning that we are not entirely giving it our best, doesn’t it? I don’t know. To me, sometimes I say try because I do not want to give myself false hope, but I ask myself after that, am I shortchanging the situation by not giving it my best shot? Hmmm.

These two days have been rather cloudy. I have wanted to go for a swim before I start work but the sky has been gray and gloomy. This morning, it drizzled too. At first, I wondered why the sky looked so blurry as if there was a layer of tulle net covering it. Then it dawned on me that it was a very light drizzle, the fine droplets that looked misty almost, as though they were floating all around the sky. Droplets are so light and hardly make any sound as they touch the ground or surface. How odd it has been. Just the day before, it was scorching hot. Even the wind carried heat in its breath. The weather changes quite rapidly these days and it scares me sometimes.

There were a couple of times that I wished it snowed here. I live in a tropical country where snow is quite impossible. But if truly one day it snows here, it may not be a good sign. Mother nature works its way through things and when it shows its total opposites, we need to worry about the implications that it brings.

I have been sitting in front of my laptop during the day and moving around as and when I feel like it, when there is no online meeting, but you know what, I think I need a swim. I am not moving enough, and it is slowly getting to me that I don’t feel as fit as I did. Well, not to say I was fit but slightly fitter than how I feel now. Sitting in front and typing, staring at the slides or document or websites reading, it ain’t healthy.

How have you been dear? Have the pages been good to you? Has the ink been good to you? I quite enjoy typing here and I do not miss writing on you with a pen, come to think of it. I remembered how I used to write to you, paragraphs after paragraphs. Oh, it wasn’t paragraphs, was it? It was just one big paragraph. I wasn’t really into paragraphs those days. I didn’t really care about them, as long as my thoughts keep flowing and flowing, transferred to you through my fingers and hand. I could write quite fast and fluently back then but nowadays, my keyboard is my pen. Nowadays, whenever I need to write with a pen, my fingers feel awkward, as though the muscles have stiffened. It is quite odd really, but I don’t blame them. Writing, just like any form of physical activity, requires practice to loosen the muscles and to make the actions more fluid.

And that reminds me that I need to workout more. My current workout schedule is just Saturdays and Sundays because then, I don’t feel as tired as I do on weekdays. Going to bed after midnight and waking up at six-ish everyday does take a toll on you. I could sleep earlier, come to think of it but by the time I am done with dinner and shower, it is almost midnight. Yes, it is something that requires some effort to change and make it better for myself. Oh, the weekend is here, aaah… I look forward to it. Previously, my weekdays and weekends are pretty much the same so I forget which day it is but nowadays, these two sets of days are very clear, and the weekends are now very welcomed.

I am boiling some leftover soup from the other day (which has bits of vegetables and bulbs such as okra, brinjal, lettuce, cabbage, carrot, tomato, potato, onion with a variety of fish, squid and crab balls) for dinner now. We’ll be having it with rice noodles. Oh, and I added hard boiled eggs in there too. A hearty warm meal for a cloudy day (I’ll skip the gloomy part for now). Till the next time my dear. I will type to you again.