Oh! How easy it is to complain! It gives the illusion of something being done about all present dilemas.
It's funny how over the years I have become more aware of how inefficient whining actually is. Time after time, it always makes things worse and yet every once in a while I catch myself doing it. Hehe
I guess old habits die hard because I'm so cozy and warm in them, like my comfort zone blanket.
I have recently pinpointed and acknowledged my present strengths.
I had never really put much attention to them because I was too busy reacting to my never ending dichotomies. However, it caused me to realize, that many of my struggles have been created due to my strengths.
Sounds so counter intuitive and it kind of is. Allow me to explain.
I always thought my dilemas arose from me not being skilled enough and no matter how hard I tried to fix my weaknesses, the break-throughs were always few and far between.
For a while now, I had been frustrated at how my actions had not been producing new results.
For example, right after highschool I hit the ground running into the work force, trying to improve my financial situation. I worked myself hard and it usually paid off monetarily but I found myself exhausted all the time.
So, I quit that life and moved to another country after meeting and marrying my husband. I've learnt so much about culture, about people and about different living conditions.
However, no matter what I tried, I would still often find myself tired and lacking physical rest. "Well," I would ask myself, "What am I doing wrong? What is the weak link causing this?"
Now around that time, out of curiosity, I had taken an online personality test and to my surprise, I actually gained valuable perspective about myself.
I learnt that I tend to be ambitious about life! And that's when the lightbulb lit up.
Here I had been trying to figure out how to improve my sleeping skills (my weakness), which I thought I lacked, and yet this was not the root cause! The true cause for my chronic fatigue was my ambitions!
All those wonderful projects I wish to push forward...
Need to wait!
The earth wasn't built in one day and neither should my ambitions.
One could say ambitions are not a weakness because they can help get so much done, they can help push through the hardships and discomforts because dreams await on the other side. Somewhere in that distant future...
Sure, ambition is very useful but it can also be very destructive and that's the realization I've come to:
I need balance between my present self and the world I'm working to achieve for my future self.
How do I plan on finding this balance?
I will not so much focus on my weaknesses, but rather I will moderate my ambitions to allow for improvement on my weaknesses.
For if I'm always using my strengths as a crutch, I am never really using my weaknesses. And if I can't even truly use my weaknesses then when am I going to nurture them into strengths?
Exactly! I won't!
Also, I will work on building new habits. This will allow me to live more in the present moment because who doesn't become more aware of their enviroment when they're learning new skills?
Now, to all my ambitious junkies out there:
Know your limits, listen to your body as it lets you know when it needs rest.
Because it's not worth building a future in which you'll not be a part of.
I mean case in point:
Look at Steve Jobs, the guy worked himself to death for Apple. His potential was shortlived. He died young, in my opinion.
So, if you're really good at something, prevent it from taking over your life.
Moderation is key!
Instead of that "I'll never be good enough" mentality or lingering in bitterness, think of what you're already good at and figure out how that's preventing you from improving.
Wishing you the best!
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