The First Time I Fall In Love

Like a typical love story, we also start with these two famous word "hi" and "hello". Until such time that we both added phrases such as "good morning", "good afternoon", "goodnight", "sleep well" and questions like "how are you?", "what are you doing?", "done breakfast?", etc. And we cannot also deny the fact that we came to the point that sentences and phrases became paragraphs and these paragraphs turned into an open ending stories where both of us create a wonderful memories.

From our long deep conversation in chat it turns into reality when you asked me for a date. But honestly, I've got nervous reading your invitation, I don't exactly know what to feel but as I got nervous I also felt the excitement to see you knowing the fact that we never meet in person. Looking at your profile pictures and personal background, you're that kind of person who's really hard to impress, I just don't know how we became friends and how our conversation gets longer and deeper. I also don't know what will happen if we'll going to meet. I don't know if you still going to talk to me or you just walk away seeing this simple unadorable girl who can't reach your high standard status in life. Though nervousness eaten my mind, I still agree for the meet up cause since then it is my dream also to talk and see you in person.

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"Raine"

Sitting on the chair in front of a table, I was shock when someone's call my name from my back. As I look for that person who own that voice, it was my surprise because the man who call my name slowly wave his hand looking at my direction, its just so weird because his physical appearance totally different from the profile picture I saw on his account. I don't know what I am going to do now but honestly I got totally disappointed. Expectation vs. reality go round in my mind at this moment. I just can't believe how picture filters turn his face to a very handsome young looking man. He was totally different in person. Tsk. However, as a sign of respect, I wave him back as he wave his hand towards me. After that waving moment, he started walking near me. He look so giggled and excited to see me but I felt the other way around. His lips curved so wide as he smile genuinely while I, can't imagine how I look at this moment knowing the fact that I got totally disgusted. As he came closer to me I stand to greet him but it was a great embarrassment for me when I realized that I'm not the person his referring and waving too. It was the girl on the next table and yes I got so embarrass. I immediately whisper in the wind saying "heaven and earth please eat me now". I don't know how to cover this mess but yeah, they were seating in front of me now. I'm thinking what they thought about me at this moment, maybe in their conversation and in silence they were laughing out loud. "That was so shameful Raine, you're so assuming. Tsk" saying those words, I sit again and covered myself with a paper in front of me. Acting like nothings happened.

"Raine"

Again someone's call my name in a more gentle manner. And since I don't trust myself anymore from recognizing people who calls my name, I continue to covered myself with a paper and act like I don't hear anything. Until someone tap my shoulder and said "sorry I'm late". As I look to that person, I got stuck for a moment because he look so cute and unarguably he has a very pleasing appearance which can truly capture anyone's eyes. I got so dumb, like I can't say anything til the guy on the other table (the one who call my name earlier) speak and says "troy here, you're on the wrong table". "ow! sorry miss, I thought your Raine. Sorry" -the cute guy said. Still, I can't say anything instead I just nod and he walks on the other table. "Hayst! Why on Earth my mother gave me a very popular name. Tsk." -I whisper again and sigh.

"Excuse me miss?" my nerves jump as I heard a very beautiful and manly voice beside me.

"Yes?" I said as I look to him

"you've been seating here for how many hours, can I get your order now maam?" he said

Because of humiliation seating here for how many hours, I just ordered a small size can juice and a light snacks while waiting for him. Of course, I got totally disappointed with all the things happening to me now. I already finished drinking and eating all I've ordered but still he's not around. Until I decided to go home and realized how I waste my time and embarrass myself on that mini restaurant.

While walking, a car stop beside me. And since, I've heard different news before that there's a car which used to abduct vulnerable persons especially women and children. I ran so fast as someone's try to open the door of that car. As I ran and ran and ran, the car continuously followed me. Now I ran crying, I know in myself I can't ran anymore coz my feet is already aching. As I stop, I saw a guy in front of that car, looking at me, smiling. Now, I got ashamed again but this time I felt so happy as I recognized his face. Mix emotions killing my whole system all the way coz the man I've been waiting for is now standing in front of me.

Fast forward. We park his car and decided to walk together. Walking while talking I discovered more about him. Now I know he's really a rich guy but chose to be an ordinary one. He has a car but he only wear short and loose shirt. He's not also fond of eating in an expensive restaurant, he prefer street foods rather than expensive desserts. Also he explain why he was too late to arrive because he said that his father call him to attend a certain meeting for their business. Hence, instead of getting angry or grudge him I don't know but I got so inlove with him.

As we continue walking and talking, I felt so lucky having this kind of guy beside me. He erased all the embarrassing moment I've done earlier and I really feel safe with him. My heart beats faster as he said "you know what Raine? You're the first and the only person I've willingly done all this things. Even you don't ask for an appointment, I always give time for you". I felt like there's a bomb in my face and ready to fire any moment. "why me?"- I ask, "I also don't know Raine but my mind and my heart says its you I want to be with" -he responded. I totally got weak til he pulled me closer to him and hug me tightly. "I love you Raine" he said and as I reply .........

I've heard a very familiar voice coming towards me, saying "Raiiiiiiinnnneeee..... you sleep on the table again. How many times I've told you its not good to sleep on that kind of position. Keep all your things, go to your bed and sleep. Stop writing, just continue that tomorrow." Its my mother voice again. My mother never fails to interrupt me everytime I had a wonderful dream. Tsk. But its a good thing also because I was able to escape in all the shameful moment I'd undergone in that dream.

While putting back all my things in order, I saw my notebook where I wrote my stories. And I figure out that I only wrote two paragraphs today. It only means that my story continued in my dreams and in silence, I laugh so hard, knowing how my imagination eat my whole system that even in my dream it follows me.

Now I just feel so sad realizing that THE FIRST TIME I FALL INLOVE is just a product of my imagination and THE MAN I TRULY LOVE was only exist in my dreams and through my notebook and pen. Sad Reality is that I fall inlove with the character I written on my stories nonetheless PERFECT GUY ONLY MEANS PERFECT IMAGINATION.

Lying in my bed, I closed my eyes and says "You're just a dream I impossibly have. How I wish you're real but you're not."