To my man,

To my man who always puts up with my unbearable attitude,

I've written this a couple of hours ago, October 22, 2021. It's the 10th month of the year and exactly our 7th month dating each other. This chapter from the book I wrote in Wattpad (A Hundred Letters for Kit Louise) was originally an all-trauma poetry book I had written a couple of years ago - full of nothing but negatively written heartbreaking poems I'd randomly write whenever nightmares visit me in my sleep, but tonight, I decided to change everything, into a wondrous book filled with happy memories of you, my love. 

I had so much in mind these days that I can barely even let it out to you. You would always pick up the pieces of words I throw just to comprehend what I am unable to tell you. I am afraid you'll get tired of my sh*ts and one day, you'll end up giving up on me because of it.

The poems I am have written and the letters I'm about to write are the thoughts I cannot tell you in person. Please bear with me.

You know, love has made me confused for a lot of time now. I thought I was having it all, the perfect match, the approval of everyone, the perfect relationship I had with the person I was with from the past, but when I met you this year, everything I experienced from the past seemed to be a false perception of my idea of what love was.

Love was never perfect. It never needed the approval of everyone. It was never an all-butterfly-filled emotion. Love can be sometimes chaos of feelings - a hurricane of misunderstandings that I find hard to comprehend at first, and a roller coaster ride of excitement, dull nights, boring days, and wrecked minds at times. You made me feel the love that way.

This might be a little too much of a cliche but, I can't imagine my life without you, to be honest. I was literally drowning myself to sleep, helplessness, and sadness the whole time I started entering nursing school. I was never been myself around others. I was not my old self - the bubbly, optimistic, and witty one. I was stuck.

But then you came. I had a little bit of light I have never seen before. Now I understood the quote I had seen today saying, "We are all broken at first, in order for the light to pass through." 

It's nice to have you around as my partner-in-crime and my ride-or-die, love. Thank you for the 7 months (and counting) of love, consistency, affection, attention, and discipline you have always instilled into my mind and heart.

You are loved by me.

Sincerely,

Krystel Joy

I was literally inactive due to school work. Nursing isn't really easy, tbh. I'm on my 2nd year and life's been a little rough these days. To anyone who's reading this. I hope you all are well and healthy. Please stay safe and warm.