@krysterrific

@krysterrific 8 March 2024

I guess I'm back!? Haven't been on the app for over 2 years and I am now ready to make this place my home again. I need to write my thoughts or I'll go crazy. 🥲 Can y'all suggest some random topics to make? Kinda new (again) here. I have to get used to this again. ☺️

@krysterrific 30 October 2021

The Trauma Keeps on Waking Me Up ***(This is just a short story since my 3AM thoughts keep on bugging me to write more. Anyway, enjoy!)*** I woke up to the sound of the whispering voices inside my head. It was the most unusual thing I have ever heard all my life. It's 3:04 in the morning and I was wide awake. Not to mention that what I'm seeing was just my dim room light shaped in a star. I thought I was hallucinating. The kind of thoughts and ideas that keeps on flashing back when they're actually not there all along. *"No, it wasn't hallucinations."* I told myself. It was never hallucinations. It was a nightmare. The same nightmare that keeps on coming back inside my head. The same nightmare that wakes up my whole being at midnight—exactly on midnights. Water was starting to form at the tip of my eyes. *"Please tell me he won't leave me for that woman."* That were the words that keep on repeating inside my head. I saw him inside of my head, holding that same woman who dumped her for so many times a couple of months before he met me. People have told me that I can live alone, that I am independent, that I am a strong woman on my 20s. But that midnight—like all the midnights that passed through, it scared me. I felt vulnerable all of a sudden. It scared the hell out of me. *"What if he was actually talking to that woman without me knowing??* *"What if I was never been enough?"* *"What if he tells me the next day that I am not what he wanted?"* I was never been that scared all my life. The pent up emotions came out without a warning. I ended up crying my heart out—at 3AM. And then I suddenly heard his voice from the other side of the phone. I nearly forgot we were on the line, video calling each other. *"Love... I'm here... I love you."* That's when I realized, he was there for me. He has always been there for me, not for anyone else, not for any woman. **Short. Might write more soon. Please leave your thoughts about this story if you want to read and hear more about what I mean with the emotional trauma I dealt with from the past.** —krysterrific

@krysterrific 25 October 2021

I might pour out all of my thoughts again through a long article anytime soon on this website since Facebook is not for me. I'm just taking a time out right now. Online classes are draining the hell out of me. I hope you are all well out there.

@krysterrific 22 October 2021

To my man, To my man who always puts up with my unbearable attitude, I've written this a couple of hours ago, October 22, 2021. It's the 10th month of the year and exactly our 7th month dating each other. This chapter from the book I wrote in Wattpad (A Hundred Letters for Kit Louise) was originally an all-trauma poetry book I had written a couple of years ago - full of nothing but negatively written heartbreaking poems I'd randomly write whenever nightmares visit me in my sleep, but tonight, I decided to change everything, into a wondrous book filled with happy memories of you, my love.  https://www.wattpad.com/story/205095161?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create&wp_uname=krystellatte&wp_originator=5KZomnjQi%2Booe15VA7I5WXavHJAHzt6NOltwEOX4e%2FbRufqDjuezS%2Bj0SkvogfNDDJCwJr6MnaXxwMAuccbW3szE7MolJqM4gcEGijfsaRyJgh6M4VY7BrSqiRad8wk3 I had so much in mind these days that I can barely even let it out to you. You would always pick up the pieces of words I throw just to comprehend what I am unable to tell you. I am afraid you'll get tired of my sh*ts and one day, you'll end up giving up on me because of it. The poems I am have written and the letters I'm about to write are the thoughts I cannot tell you in person. Please bear with me. You know, *love* has made me confused for a lot of time now. I thought I was having it all, the perfect match, the approval of everyone, the perfect relationship I had with the person I was with from the past, but when I met you this year, everything I experienced from the past seemed to be a false perception of my idea of what *love* was. Love was *never* perfect. It *never* needed the approval of everyone. It was never an *all-butterfly-filled* emotion. Love can be sometimes *chaos* of feelings - a hurricane of misunderstandings that I find hard to comprehend at first, and a roller coaster ride of excitement, dull nights, boring days, and wrecked minds at times. You made me feel the *love* that way. This might be a little too much of a cliche but, I can't imagine my life without you, to be honest. I was literally drowning myself to sleep, helplessness, and sadness the whole time I started entering nursing school. I was never been myself around others. I was not my old self - the bubbly, optimistic, and witty one. I was stuck. But then you came. I had a little bit of light I have never seen before. Now I understood the quote I had seen today saying, *"We are all broken at first, in order for the light to pass through."*  It's nice to have you around as my partner-in-crime and my ride-or-die, love. Thank you for the 7 months (and counting) of love, consistency, affection, attention, and discipline you have always instilled into my mind and heart. You are loved by me. Sincerely, *Krystel Joy* ***I was literally inactive due to school work. Nursing isn't really easy, tbh. I'm on my 2nd year and life's been a little rough these days. To anyone who's reading this. I hope you all are well and healthy. Please stay safe and warm.***

@krysterrific 5 September 2021

A fresher start as a student nurse/ writer/ blogger. Hi! I am *(barely)* back because of school but now I am certain that I will definitely continue to write more guides in becoming a productive student *(please stop procrastinating)*, and much more drama to come since I am crazy about all the drama happening in my life. To be honest I became a little tired and lazy of writing down my ideas for my articles as I ended my summer class, mid-July. I got too tired that I almost forgot I have a read cash and a noise cash account. There was no break for me and my academic life and I cannot deny the fact that I had so much mental and physical breakdowns during this summer than what I had *(which never really happened)* when I was on my 1st year in college. I got sick a lot, I hesitated so much about this career I am walking into, and I secretly have been trying to pull myself up everyday, without anyone noticing - not even my man. Now more interesting things happened when I finally get to have my schedule after I enrolled myself for my 2nd year in nursing school, mid-August. I knew that this will be a little bit harder than how I managed to survive my first year but there is no backing out and there is definitely no more U-turns for me. I am fixed here. I am here already, halfway through, and I know I had to do something more than what I am supposed to. It is to focus more on what I needed to learn, more than what does my professors are feeding us. Orientation week took off from the 16th up until the 21st day of August, while official classes of our institution started last August 23 and yet, everything is still messed up. I still had a lot of friends who never got their schedules on time after enrolling earlier than the rest. It was definitely frustrating as I get to hear their rants but I definitely cannot do anything about it. I just had to advice them to email the department since I am sure our department is also facing some delays in sending schedules to students. Fortunately, after the 2nd week, everything was sailing smoothly already. ***Today is Sunday, September 5, 2021, exactly 2:00PM, Philippine Standard Time.*** As I am writing this article on a laptop, the rain is too heavy to deal with so I had to literally put on my in-ears for some music from my phone. Tomorrow is the 4th week of the academic year and I am sill not sure of what I have learned *(so far).* I mean, we had classes about a mother’s pregnancy, how to count the due date of a preggy woman, what is BMI, how the baby escapes the mother’s vagina, how a placenta works, how to become the most confident and effective community nurse you can be, how microbes hurt and help us, how a microscope should be properly used and stored, how to properly speak the English language, and how to do a podcast. That is *(barely)* 10% of nursing school for you *(but those learning would still be putting you in a dilemma if whether you’re actually learning it right or not, since the whole process of learning is a hundred percent online class, making you doubt your own capabilities… oh, snap).* **“Tomorrow is another day.”** Another set of classes for Community Health Nursing at exactly 7:30AM + 3 more hours of related learning experience that does nothing but let us listen to a 3-hour lecture while still half-asleep and some are still on their beds, ready for the next nap time, more Care for Mother, Child and Adolescent learning, Health Care Ethics and Computer-Assisted Language Learning *(just basically an English class).* Monday is fun, really. Lucky if you had the best of the best and funniest professor in the institution. I’m that lucky one. I actually realized what was making me the pro-procrastinator last academic year when I was still on my 1st year. The internet connection. HAHA. We recently *(and finally)* get to have our own WIFI at home so that definitely became the reason why I was passing all of my projects and worksheets WAAAYYY earlier than the deadline *(except for the group works since I still had to consult with my co-members).* I realized I was never really a procrastinator. As soon as my teachers drop the assignments, I’d usually search up and read more ahead about it and instantly gets to finish the worksheet the day after it was given and even a week before the deadline. Last year was horrible. I had to wake up early, get ready and go all the way to my 2nd cousin’s house *(it was not even that far but still, I had to come over EVERY FREAKING DAY, 6 times a week)* just to go to my classes online and do my homework in a flash because I had limited time before going back home after dark. It was the tiredest thing to do. After coming back home, I would definitely have ZERO signal, barely even got a signal bar on my phone and I will just end up sleeping. It was disadvantaging even if I had all the gadgets I would need *(iPad, cellular phone, Bluetooth-ed keyboard, laptops if I really had to use it)* but there was no internet at home. **Takeaways:** It became a routine that I had to slowly get rid off after we had the internet we need at home, plus, the whole house became soooo silent. Everyone would be on their phones watching something that will interest them *(including my parents who once told us they hated Facebook and the internet).* They’d be just call me inside my room to eat. I get to my online class on time, I make my assignments before the deadline, I get to rest as much as I can when I get tired of looking at my gadget’s screen. It became a necessity for us since both of my parents are teachers so we basically had to have it. Life as a student became easy for me and that made me thankful and blessed about having enough for ourselves and for our family when everyone was actually struggling to have it.

@krysterrific 21 August 2021

Questions I often receive after entering a healthy relationship. Good evening, everyone! I am back (barely) because another school year has finally started and I am finally a second year student in Nursing! I have been trying to review and read the learning kits that our professors were sending us in advance so I would have a broad analysis and idea of what the first few topics were all about. Moving on, I know this is kind of random but I just thought about this tonight so might as well share my own opinion and what I have been thinking about after getting so much reactions from a few friends on social media when they found out and thought I suddenly (literally out of nowhere) entered a relationship (a healthy one) after being a lonely and hopeless romantic woman over the past year. *Disclaimer: these were not the exact words I received but still have the same thoughts as what they would usually react to my “My Days”.* **Where the hell did you get your man out of nowhere?** I’ve known him for over 3 years now. If you may have read the past few articles I’ve made, there’s a history (in diary form, I guess) of how I actually met him but I’ll say it again. He is the one who helped me get myself enrolled (for Senior High School) in the institution where the both of us are studying right now (as Student Nurses already). I first actually thought about him to be “gay” because of how he acted, how he speaks and how he looks like. *(I’m so sorry, love.)* He’s a literal geek – skinny, wearing thick, black eyeglasses on, so much flaws on his face (obviously looking like he always stays up all night), gamer, chess player. He’s my total type, to be honest. I’m head-over-heels for this man. I don’t know why. I didn’t really know him at first, I got his name when I was still on 11th grade, walking on the hallway of the school when I spotted him, being called by his nursing friends. Just the name, okay? I got his surname when I was on my 12th grade (it literally took me another year to barely know his full name), when I saw him wearing his jersey and playing for the Nursing Department’s volleyball team. It was January 2020 when I finally added him as my friend on Facebook, and February 2021 when we first chatted as strangers. That’s where everything started. How do you both continuously manage your long distance relationship? We actually don’t have a definite schedule in catching up and talking to each other but we mostly get to chat and call at midnight until we end up sleeping with our video call still turning on. We started roughly because of the pandemic. The bus and jeep ride to each other’s places is over 2 hours long and that is not really easy to handle, to be honest. We miss each other a lot and that becomes a reminder to us every day that the long wait will always be worth it. We try to understand and keep up with each other’s schedule of classes and break times and we always chat over messenger whenever we’re both online. We even get to binge watch some movies, k-dramas and anime when we have the chance and when I get to have a stable internet connection. We’re putting so much risk and effort as an LDR couple and we’d only see each other every after exam week and when we’re both lucky to have a free day on the exact same day… that’s literally just 2 to 4 days every month. It’s hard but we’re hanging on until we get to see each other every day when we this pandemic ends… hopefully. Are you both living-in together in the same house? That’s the most ridiculous question I ever received from a former SHS classmate. The more I think about it, the more it gets funnier. I wish we were, actually, but unfortunately, we’re not. We’ll both get killed by our guardians if that happens at this age of ours. I guess it becomes a topic because I only get to put a couple of photos on my social media whenever I get to come over on their place and gets to have a cup of coffee for our dates. One photo that actually made them think we were living together was when I posted a picture of us on IG after waking up from their guest room and hanging out on his room while he was waiting for his usual summer class on his laptop, but we’re actually about to go on an out-of-town over-night trip to one of our friend’s house after his online class. I just slept there in advance so we’ll get to spare a few hours together. That’s it and I still think it’s funny. You’ll really never know who to trust even if you think they’re your friend. They always misunderstood so many stuffs but we don’t really care as a couple. We’re both legal on both sides of the family and they know what our agendas are when we’re together… so…. Who cares about what other people might think? As long as we’re happy, responsible, and doing just fine in school, there’ll be no problem at all.

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@krysterrific 14 August 2021

What did I do to deserve such a man? I didn't knew I can still fall in love this hard for a man I never thought I'd meet again, 2 years after our first and (I thought to be) our last encounter. I could just cry thinking about him and all of the things he can actually do and actually did for me. I am a part of his priorities and he is a part of mine. You were just a dream that turned into reality. I only looked at you from afar and now, you're actually a living proof that my dreams can actually do come true. I love how you danced me so randomly on your living room with Zack Tabudlo's Binibini playing from your laptop. I love how you always look at me in the eye with fondness when no one is around. I love how you randomly plan museum dates with me. I love how you find peace when you're with me. I love how you comb my hair with your fingers when you come over at my house to hang out and end up cuddling on the sofa with me. I love how you hug me everytime we meet. I love how you lengthen your patience when I am offline and you're basically online 24/7. I love how you give me forehead kisses randomly. I love how you hold my hand, making me feel secure and safe all the time. I love how you get excited when I'm coming over. I love how you are doing your best to be the best and fitted man for me, knowing you have a lot of flaws I have already seen and learned to love. I love how you learned to love me more than what I thought I'd receive from you. I love how we became each other's comfort zones. I love how we became each other's home. This pandemic seems to be our biggest barrier but love will always find its way when two hearts are willing to sacrifice and wait — and you are always worth the risk and wait, my love. Always. *Not me, writing randomly for my man who's sleeping already right now at 2AM. I'm devastated. He's such a fineeeee man and I am ready to sign up for the rest of my life with him.*

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@krysterrific 7 August 2021

A Guide for Men in Understanding Women Understanding a woman will *never* be easy for men. It’s not as complicated as what you all think it is but surely, it will be a challenge to all men how to safely and peacefully comprehend the woman’s mind. All men should know that *every* woman is unique in their own way. They have something you will never understand about them that makes them special in your eyes. You, man, should know that the ultimate goal for you is to *not* become the world’s greatest lover and husband, but to be the world’s greatest lover and husband to *your* particular partner. ***What do woman really want?*** *TRUSTWORTHINESS*. Don’t be too easy on yourself on this. It’s not how loyal you are to your woman or you think of how good are you and how trustful are you in terms of financial and emotional aspect – not even how you want to be on a long-term relationship with her. These stuffs may be important and are actually essential in your relationship but these are not enough. Trustworthiness means you are **reliable** and **accountable** of letting her know and showing her *who you really are*. It is basically ***“who you say you are”*** and ***“doing what you say you are going to do”.*** *Why is that?* **Men make a difference.** They general have the biggest impact in the lives of their children (and future children). All through-out history, woman and her children have been dependent on her husband’s trustworthiness. This is not just an antiqued saying or belief. Fathers in general becomes a critical factor in their children’s lives. Kids who have not been involved with their fathers and are emotionally unattached to them will most likely fail in school, deal with emotional and mental health problems and even live in poverty in the future. Men matter immensely to women and to their children, so there’s a reason women are looking for men who are *trustworthy*. Symbolic actions regarding *protectiveness* and *concern* makes a woman’s heart pound like crazy. Pulling out her chair, opening doors for her, walking on the traffic side of the street, will always make a difference. It makes her think that you *are* trustworthy and is *willing* to protect her. Also, showing up on time and actually doing what you said you will do, makes her think that you are indeed, trustworthy. *Chivalrous*, yes, it is. It may seem like a small act of kindness but it means a lot to most woman and you are definitely one step closer in entering her heart. A man’s trustworthiness doesn’t only mean he is willing to protect her woman and their future children, but safeguarding her heart, as well. ***What do woman really complain about?*** Women need to feel respected, heard, and connected. There’s these two things a woman would always complain about: *“My man is never there for me,”* and *“there is no enough intimacy and connection.”* Being there for them emotionally, like listening to them, caring for them, and safeguarding their hearts, are vital in keeping your woman. The fights of many couples comes from men whenever they try to dismiss their women’s emotions instead of attuning to them. You are definitely dismissing a woman’s emotions every time you try to fix them, distract her from them, minimize them, mock them, or ignore them altogether. *Attunement* of men on their woman is needed. When a couple think that they lack on intimacy, both parties should sit down and talk about it, heart-to-heart. When men attune to their woman, there would probably lesser chances of fights and problems, more frequent intimacy (and better sex), and both parties will no longer feel alone. This will lead to a better emotional connection that will eventually turn into trust, which is what the woman really wants. Studies show that men who learned emotional attunement to their woman, got what they ultimately wanted from their relationships: *less fighting and more sex.* For women, being sexual is equivalent to being *vulnerable*, and fear will be the biggest reason why their arousal gets reversed. This is not about her fear getting hurt physically *(which is probably the deal breaker, given when being sexual with your partner)*, but her fear of getting hurt emotionally. The fear that she is not safe with you. If your woman thinks you are lying to her, you’re faking your feelings or not being accountable of your actions towards her and dismissing her feelings, your sex life would probably suck (and no man would want that). ***What do men really want?*** Of course, this article would not be enough and might be a little biased to women if we can’t talk about men. So what do men really want? Not just the “less fighting and more sex”. It is ***“being desired, approved and wanted by the woman in his life”.*** He needs to feel that his woman adores him and approves of him just the way he is. It’s a given and probably the best thing if women (if you’re reading this), would know what it takes to make a man stay. Lesser conflict also adds up on the list. Men sometimes feel responsible for her woman’s feelings because you don’t want to be her source of unhappiness. Both parties have feelings but woman have bigger feelings that scares most men. It’s that tears that can come out of nowhere and you think you can get to the source of the problem and just make it fade away in a rush. Always remember that women don’t work that way. If you think you are patient enough in understanding your woman, then you got it all wrong. The goal is *not* to make your woman happy when you think she is not. That is just an impatient and a very irritable attitude of a man thinking that he *should* be responsible of his woman’s happiness and emotion. This makes the woman think and feel that she’s stupid, sorry and embarrassing for being so emotionally distressed. **Attend to her, pay full and close attention, understand, listen in a non-defensive manner and start to empathize with her.** You don’t need to philosophize, personalize and fix what bothers your woman. You just need to know that she just wants to less feel alone. **Acceptance** is the key. Accepting her emotions in their raw and ugly beauty will also make you realize and accept your own. Never give her a logical reason why these stressful emotions she is feeling should not be present. Woman have stronger emotions and that is from a hormonal basis. It’s natural and unchanging so it is very important to pay attention to your woman if she is emotionally and mentally unstable at times. Be an observant partner who *truly* cares for her and *never* degrade your woman for being unstable in some aspects. ***The Bottom-line*** For a woman, there is no negative emotions. Emotions are *just* emotion, as natural as breathing. Emotions are opportunities for intimacy. These emotions are opportunities for men to build connection with them. These are opportunities to demonstrate your *trustworthiness* in them. No couple can agree on everything. The goal is to understand the unique, amazing, complex, annoying, frustrating person you are in a relationship with.

@krysterrific 6 August 2021

Living with My Asian Tiger Parents (a rant) Disclaimer *(again)*, I did my research on this and all the credits, and most ideas and knowledge I gained and you’re about to read is all thanks to *American Psychological Association*. I have also been wanting to write a unique article that may open up everyone’s mind on what may *some* Asian parents look like when everyone stereotypically thinks that they are *“tiger parents”*. If you’ll get offended by my use of words, you’re free to leave the article away. *This is just basically a rant article because I suck at being the first daughter of the family and I am such a disappointment.* If you’re Asian, or maybe you’ve been watching too much American stand-up comedians originally coming from Asia or might have read about Amy Chua’s “*Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother*”, you are probably familiar of the term Asian kids calling their parents “*Tiger Parents*”. Why so? Keep on reading. First off, what is **Tiger Parenting**? This term was never been around until Amy Chua’s (2011) book, *Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother*, where she stated that certain strict policies like *not allowing her kids watch TV or play computer games, have sleepovers or play dates or even getting a grade lower than A*, were the reason why her kids have been successful academically and in their music studies. She even argued that this parenting is common in Asian families. I mean – she’s never wrong on that. My parents are somewhere on that spectrum of parenting. While my father’s bloodline has been partly *(just a little bit)* coming from a certain Spanish family, my mother *(for I know)* have a Chinese blood on her *(that’s probably far from the original bloodline of any Chinese family)* but Chinese traits and looks, she has it all. They both are Filipinos, of course. I hate to admit it but they are kind of coming out like some tiger parents to us, their children. I mean, I’m not hating on them just because they are *extra* strict and pushes us to be successful according to the terms and conditions of their household and as long as you are still living under the same roof. I understand they are looking after us and making sure we are going to have a bright future ahead, and keeping us safe from danger and trouble all the time. It’s just, they kind of sets *me*, for example, as the first daughter of the family, into a few pressuring moments where *I can’t say no, can’t do anything about something, and can’t do anything I want to do (even with caution).* They kind of *expect* first-time obedience and excellence from us and with a child who never talks back. Talking back, which *can* also mean patiently stating how you feel about the problem/issue or what your side is all about, means disrespecting them already. No questions ask, **“You are so disrespectful. We didn’t raised you to talk back on us”** That’s it. You’re on the wrong, already. **My parents are strict and emotionally unsupportive** but I cannot totally say they are 100% tiger parents. That is what I would describe them. Here’s why. **First, they are busy with their professions, they are even busier when being asked by our relatives especially on financial support, which can definitely lead to a lesser support on us, their children.** That sucks, you know. Thinking about it, makes me frustrated. They keep on asking my parents for support and we end up empty-handed and eventually gives off all of the finances that is supposed to be for my tuition in nursing school. I can’t talk more. It’s saddening but it’s okay. They’re family, anyway. I can’t do anything about it. **Second, they would and will never tell me the reason why I cannot go to any of my friend’s sleepover.** No reasons at all. Just **“No, you can’t.”** and arguing about it can definitely lead to war, I’m telling you *(unless if all of my friends fetch me and personally tells my parents what the rules of the sleepovers are but that rarely happens).* **Third, they are not warm, nor sweet AT ALL.** No. Never. That’s the least thing they’d probably show on their children. They don’t show affection at all. They are never been there when I had so many breakdowns starting from being a college student. They never saw how much I have struggled academically just to give them a satisfying grade of A. They think “Nursing” is easy and that I will pass it just fine. No, I almost fail a subject if not because of my friends’ encouragements. *My parents can never.* **Fourth, they never ask if I was ever been okay.** They never do and they never will. Even if I would drown myself, studying and sitting all day and night on my room, no one will never check on me, nor ask me if I ever had lunch or any water. One time, my older brother and I got into a trouble with some strangers in town and my forehead was bleeding so bad, coming to the health center to be treated before going straight home. No one even asked where I got it or how badly I went through when the pain kept me up all night. That is so tough of me. **Fifth, no boyfriend before college graduation.** Well, that didn’t really applied on me. I’m the troublemaker and the stubborn one among my siblings. I always get in trouble and I never really regret disobeying them for a couple of times now. I’m contented with the person I am with right now and I guess I made the right decision even if I know straight from their looks that they are worried that I can never make it ‘till college graduation. **Why do they said so?** Because they listen to other people’s opinion more than their daughter’s side. They look at other people’s status and unfortunate events in life *(like ending up being pregnant while in college and now lives poorly)*, and would relate it to what *THEY THINK* would happen to me in the future. That’s just ridiculous. You’re *not* *supposed* to say that on your kid. That is *down-right disrespectful, offending and frustrating* when your kid just plainly wants to be happy while continuing to study appropriately *(with the course she never really chose for herself, you did).* They are supposed to guide their kids carefully and listen to their side instead of ranting about what they think would happen to them. That’s sad. **Sixth, they really think I’m mentally stable (when all I do is to break down and get anxiety attacks every midnight).** They just plainly think I’m nocturnal. I’m up all night and sleeps a lot during the day. *I didn’t know they’ve been seeing me as an owl now.* That’s unfortunate. I don’t expect myself to write more about it as it makes me tear up, thinking about the feeling of emptiness. They will never understand. It would require so much complex understanding for you to even comprehend what I mean, unless you sympathize with what I feel. They don’t see it through me, or even us, their children, the fear and anxiousness inside our eyes. Why? Most strict parents *raises* depressive children, and *that’s ME...* unfortunately. Raising children like that can definitely lead them into being more productive, motivated and responsible adults in the future. That’s proven and tested *(at least for my own experience and how I was brought up),* but the downside of it means that the child can or will most probably struggle in new settings that may lead to anxiety, poor social skills or even depression. Being tiger parents is not as effective as it was claimed to be. *Amusing isn’t it? I find my whole life funny. I don’t even know what I’m doing right now. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to exist. Happiness is such an overrated term. It can never be achieved when you can’t even find it inside your own home. Is it even worth being called a home when you don’t feel “at home” at all?* *That’s just it.*

@krysterrific 6 August 2021

Thank you so much for the continuous support and guidance @Ayane-chan 🥺❤️ thank you for the sponsorship! I'll work hard to write more and be more of what I am capable of.

@krysterrific 5 August 2021

Raise Your Standards, Woman! **Quick disclaimer.** This article is from the author’s own perspective and was not made to send hates on the opposite gender *(because we are all imperfect individuals, thus, everyone can hurt anyone unintentionally and not all individuals are bold enough to purposely hurt anyone)*, but instead, this article serves as an eye-opener to everyone that we, women, deserves to be treated right and to get our acts together in finding the right person. If you think some statements have hurt or offended you, you are free to leave the article alone and please do not send hates on the comment section. Thank you and have fun reading! As a woman myself, I see standards as *“just”* standards, especially in finding someone I can live with, long-term. I don’t overthink about it, but it’s just right there, sitting inside my brain every day. Probably just a certain plain level of bucket list of a man I’d want to live with *(well, not until I got to meet the man of my life, 5 months ago)*. Long story short, he literally took over my own standards and he is way better than what I was looking for in a man. Standards makes us, women, picky *(for some people’s eyes, of course)*, but ***raising your standards in men as a woman, also means, raising yourself to the level of the man you’d love to have in your life.*** **How does it work, then** You cannot just plainly say you would love to have a boyfriend or a husband who has a stable job or is a responsible working man that would love you all the way and would give you anything you want and need in life. You also can never just demand and force someone (especially a man) to be the way you want them to be. That will most probably hurt their ego, thinking they’re lacking on something they must do as a man inside the relationship. Lastly, you cannot simply put all the responsibility to a man if you are in a relationship. Your relationship is also a partnership. You are there as partners, risking, investing and putting a lot of efforts in order to stay together in the long run. Seeking for a fair standard on a man, you must first **learn how to raise your own standard as a woman.** You need to level up your game. If you think he’s way better than what you are right now, learn from it and do what you must. If his goal is to finish college in time and be a successful person years after, think about your own future successes in life, too. Just because he is guaranteed for a future success, doesn’t mean you are just going to ride safely on his boat of success. You are *your* own character and you *must* be your own success. Naturally, women do not need men, but men *cannot* live without women (not in a negative way, okay?). Women nowadays can just live without men as they are being toughened by their own experiences in life at a young age. In my case, I’ve been living with my parents but I was rarely being babied inside the household even if I am the youngest for over 11 years before I had a younger sister. Asian parents are tiger parents. They are literally going to do everything to tough you up as you grow. There’s this saying (I might type it in a different way but the idea is still the same) that goes ***“A successful woman only has either of the two: a very supportive man, or no man at all.”*** Women starts to have these standards because they seek love and affection. They have these standards in men that they think they must be met or else, they are not fit for themselves. They are tough alone, but fragile when in love. If you get to fall in love unexpectedly, your standards will never be the same standards you think you have written inside your head. Your standards will be very ridiculous and funny to you when you get to meet the man who will make you feel different about yourself. If you may ask, ***“What are these standards most women do have inside their heads?”*** That is a very difficult question to answer but I will tell you how I exactly see my answers based on my own opinion. **First, the capacity of the man’s patience.** Understanding women will be very difficult (I knew it since I have a circle of guy friends I have been with, since I was 4), especially on their red days. We confuses them most of the time but they will always find time to see through what we, women, mean and what we really want. Most men are straightforward and us, women, are mostly having so much stems and ideas scattering inside our brain before we could tell them what we really want and I think that is a challenge to all men in general. A man will definitely never pass my standards if he is impatient and gets tired of certain things easily (in all aspects). I mean, we all get tired but a real man with good and life-long intentions to be with you will never make up reasons to be tired of you. **Second, how he treats his mother, sister, grandma and all of his female relatives and friends.** The way he treats every woman in his life before you could even enter it, says it all. No man can never be nice and kind to you continuously through the years (as what he promises you) if he is not treating all women in his life well enough. Some guys can be very stubborn and quirky towards their parents but becomes very sweet if given the perfect timing and I think that’s all nice. All women should see it through, the first time you’ll be seeing all of his relatives. Be extra observant, and you’ll definitely know if he’s the one for you. A good son will always be a good husband. Think life-long, girl. **Third, how consistent and understanding he is since Day 1.** Consistency and understanding is the key to a near-to-perfection relationship. We all have bad days and I think having a partner needs both of your consistency to get your relationship work and level up in the following years. Not just him, but also you, woman. Consistently telling and reminding your partner how important he is and how contented you are with your relationship means a lot to your man, I swear. It will motivate them to do more and be more as a man. **Fourth, how he sees you as his future wife.** Being in a relationship means investing for your future together. Investing your time, effort, and even your money will be a big risk but knowing that you are both on the same lane in your relationship, you will both have so much reason to stay in love and choose to be with each other. Be with the man who sees you with his future self, together. Be with the man who is willing to be there when tough times come in your way as a couple. Be with the man who will never think of leaving you alone when you’re on your worst days. It takes a lot of thinking and a lot of love for a man to tell you how much he wants you in his lifetime and I think that totally adds up as a big reason on why I should keep the man I love today. **Fifth and the last one, how he gets all excited to spend time with you all the time.** Men will always become fragile and soft when they’re with the woman they love. They keep their guards down and they want to be babied (most of the time). Well, that’s what my man does, naturally, even if he’s two years older than me and that’s the reason why I am slowly trying to become more responsible of my actions as a woman. You can always see the excitement on his eyes. His smiles when you’re with him or even if you’re with your circle of friends will always say that he is definitely in love. He always look forward on the day or time you’ll get to see each other and I think that is just so cute. Thinking about these standards I’ve set for the man I have always wanted, I just basically described my boyfriend right now. He’s nice and funny most of the time but he also gets serious when the matter is all about me and us. I think finding the right man really has a set standard for us women but it really doesn’t mean that when you have a single standard left on your list, doesn’t make the man you love, less than a man he is. I mean, standards can fade away for some time when you fall in love in an unexpected way in the most unexpected person you’ll meet. *I’d like to sincerely thank* @Ayane-chan *and* @Codename_Chikakiku *for always being so generous on every articles I made (so far). Thank you for the support and encouragements. I’ll continue to work on my articles and be better on writing as time goes by.*

@krysterrific 3 August 2021

Falling (in Love) and Not Breaking **How Love Found Me Part 3 (Final):** **Falling (in Love) and Not Breaking** ***“Why do we fall in love?”*** Is it even the proper way to say it when you feel like you are starting to catch feelings for someone? I mean, you “*catch*” feelings before you totally “*fall in love*”. It’s like risking to run and catch a butterfly you just saw and fancied, when you obviously know you’d be falling hard and hurt yourself afterwards. You catch feelings after knowing them for some time, or even not knowing them personally at all. You just simply “*liked*” them at first (in different aspects, of course) and days will pass by after encountering or unexpectedly drawing connections with them for a couple of times, you find yourself fancying them more than you thought you would. “*Fall?*” Is it valid? Is it the right word to describe it? Maybe it is, perhaps for some people I know. Everything that falls, breaks. We “*fall*”, and “*break apart*”. We “*fall*”, risking it all, knowing we will get hurt at some point, facing the consequences of risking our feelings for someone after the great fall. It only takes a lot of deep connection, comprehension and commitment to “*fall*” and “*not break*”. It is a rare case, and my own experience is probably the rarest I have ever risked my whole life. I have known this man for approximately over three years now. I am not personally close to him and all I knew at first was his first name when I was on 11th Grade (back in 2018) after I encountered him and his group of friends on the lobby of the 3rd (or 4th floor) of our campus building. They were talking and laugh loud about something and they were wearing college uniforms so I quickly assumed that they are college students (obviously). One friend of him called, shouting his name “Kit!” making him look back in response and approached the same group and laughed again. I was only a few meters away from them and a little farther away from the room I am about to enter, but my whole system stopped, that I even forgot why am I even there and what I have gone there for. I became blank and felt embarrassed after seeing him again and finally knowing his damn name I never got when he helped me enroll for Senior High School. I stepped back for a moment and finally retreated to pass by them. That’s it. Just his first name. It was **January 10, 2020** when I finally got to know his surname after the College Department’s Volleyball Competition, three months before I get to graduate from Senior High School. I searched up the only first name I knew about him and added the same surname I saw at the back of his jersey. *I am now looking back at it and I can’t help but to laugh at how stupid I might have been for doing it.* I was surprised to see he had the same second name as my older brother. I fearlessly sent a friend request on Facebook on that same morning. It was not a big deal for me at all. I just want to be friends with him and sincerely thank him soon for helping me out in enrolling when I was about to enter the institution I am happily in right now. We are studying on the same school and I am about to enter the same college department he is currently in. I know he won’t mind but I was not really expecting him to respond so fast. He eventually accepted my friend request that same day and we finally became friends on social media. I knew it was him. The same nerdy-looking guy I met over three years ago. I was so happy to be finally getting his name. Until then I realized I am having a big crush on this dude. After being social media friends, pandemic and lockdown hit a few months after it so there were obviously no face-to-face classes for everyone on the following school year. This **January 2021**, I have been seeing a lot of his shared post on Facebook, so as a loyal reactor, I keep on reacting everything that’s passing by my feeds. I didn’t knew I was too obvious at that time. He even followed me first on IG and I thought I was dreaming, I was so high that I almost lost my voice. I can’t speak straight and my knees were trembling just like how it felt like when I sent him the confession I made on-the-spot as the calendar fell on **February 4, 2021**. We ended up chatting after that day. I really thought he didn’t knew me but to my surprise, I was a familiar person on his eyes. I mean, he said he would always see me shouting my Cluster name every competition since I was a Cluster officer and that really hit me. He knew me as that same clueless girl he helped to get enrolled on the SHS department back in 2018 and I look like a fool sending a confession out of the blue. What the hell am I doing? I started telling my friends about him after sharing conversations for days. They have warned me not to get my hopes up and some even told me not to continue talking to him. They knew I was a perfectionist and after talking personal stuffs with him, I can’t help myself but to literally get my hopes and standards up because of him. He seems to be a responsible person, a man of few words, a very well-oriented and level-headed person but very quirky, fun and loyal with his friends and classmates… a total opposite of me. My friends reminded me I might get hurt since he never talked about the confession I sent him, nor talking about his response or what he thinks of me. I knew I will be friend-zoned after a few days, but *damn* it, I was wrong. We kept talking and weeks after, we started video calling and slowly became too close that we even share some of our family problems with each other. I even get to unexpectedly breakdown talking about my biggest trauma in life. That was a total turn-off… I think? It felt surreal, to be honest. I was just looking at this man from afar a year ago, and now, we’re actually having so many personal conversations. I thank God for giving me the talent in writing down and expressing how I feel about someone when I can’t find the right words to say. We ended up becoming good friends and finally got the chance to meet face-to-face last **February 28, 2021**, a week after our 2nd Semester Prelim exams. First meeting, first smiles, first hug from him, first face-to-face “Hi's”, first laughter together. I was in awe and I nearly dropped a tear after he went out from their car and hugged me first thing. And how in the world I got the courage to hold his hand first for the first time? Clearly I made the first move and I have never hesitated nor doubted what I feel for him. I knew I was being just plain fearless. I have nothing to lose at all and I am literally risking my own feelings for a man this far when I was left lonely the whole 2020. I thought I’d never get the chance to be in love again but he was a total game changer – a plain hope and light for my lonely heart. A month after that first meeting, we became official. How fast could it get when two hearts, in the midst of a long-distance relationship and pandemic, starts bravely like this? He is the biggest plot twist of my 2021. I started my 20s with him and still eagerly planning to finish nursing school together and get to our 30s successfully. Now we’re past our 4th month and we’re legally dating after meeting each other’s closest family members. Some things never really change after that span of time. We still treat each other the way we do it after we started. The feelings are just growing and never fading and we are determined to overcome every challenges we face. We had a couple of minor misunderstandings but fixing it was never been difficult for us. We hear each other’s side and we try to meet in the middle of the argument so there would be no pointless talks about it. **We fight, we fix, and we learn.** LDR is hard, and so living with this kind of relationship, both parties must have a strong mind to accept the fact that not every day would be a nice day as a couple. *It is already past the middle of 2021 and I guess for me, falling in love first, will never always mean breaking apart after the great fall. Some things are just meant to fall into places and not fall apart. I fell hard on someone I never thought would be ready to catch me and dive deeper in life and love with me. It might seem like a dream but yes, we made it.* **We’re a living proof that not everything that falls, breaks.** *This is basically everything I’ve been thinking about for over a few nights after finishing my summer class so I started writing it down as I haven’t posted an article for a couple days now. My sincere apologies if there may be some typographical errors.* *Disclaimer, this is from my own perspective and experience, if you may have read something that offended you or was not favorable on your perspective, I advise you to leave the article away and not write something rude on the comment section. Thank you~*

@krysterrific 28 July 2021

How to (almost) Ace College *Most people I know thinks that taking up Nursing would be a smooth sail and a guarantee for future successes in life. They think we're "****smart****" and "****diligent****". Well, not for us or at least for me as a student nurse. There's a lot more than what you see from every student nurses you may know personally.* *On my previous article* ***(******5 Things I Regret Not Knowing Before Entering Nursing School******)*** *I have stated that I am definitely not a straight A student, I almost had a failing grade at some point on my first year in nursing school, and I had my lowest rate from a (minor) subject which was 2.75 if I can still recall. I am just a regular student trying to dream big and survive nursing school but I do just fine at most of my major subjects so I wanted to share these ideas I've got from my own perspective and experiences on my first year in Nursing school.* https://read.cash/@krysterrific/5-things-i-regret-not-knowing-before-entering-nursing-school-7f3d6ca7 **NURSING IS A CALLING.** *Why would you want to take up Nursing? Why are you here anyway? Is this your calling? Are you sure this is what your heart wants? How motivated are you to finish this journey off?* Those are (and many more) questions are what you're suppose to think of before finally deciding to take up Nursing. Nursing is a calling from God and no one can answer your questions about what you really want except yourself. You will face so much more than what you think and it takes so much courage to enter this path, but once you finally decided to join as a Nightingale, you will discover a different world and you will definitely fall in love with the art of caring. How you think about Nursing will affect your performance as a student nurse. Although some students (like me) has never been a hundred percent sure about why I took Nursing in the first place, days, weeks, months and semesters will pass by, you will definitely see changes on how you see Nursing as a whole. **DON'T LET TIME CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN DO.** Time management is definitely hard, especially if you're used to taking up so much of your free time watching TikToks, scrolling on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, or even just lying around and doing nothing. As soon as you get your schedule for the first semester, try to re-arrange it into a more appealing format and put it on note on your wall. This will be your first reminder that will slowly motivate you to sit down and do something about your school works. As pandemic is still continuing, unfortunately, and classes are mostly online, try your best to at least start working on your assignments, long-ass worksheets and major paperworks as soon as your professor drops it. The earlier you start, the lesser you'll cram over deadlines. This will also prevent you to feel and half-heartedly go out with friends or family on vacations during random days. I've had a lot of friends from last year whom I saw hanging so much with their significant other, going on dates and even overnights on their Instagram My Days, but ended up asking for MY own worksheet answers during the online exam week that's its deadline was suppose to be 2 weeks before that same exam week. Is that even acceptable? No. You are responsible of how you handle your time and no one would help you fix that procrastination except you, yourself. **LEARN TO ORGANIZE YOUR THOUGHTS, WORKSPACE & WORKLOADS.** Nursing means A LOT of WORKLOADS. Trust me, the first semester, we've had a lot of worksheets that literally had 70 to more than a hundred points worth each and it was seriously tiring, especially when you are running late for the deadline, with a damn-ass slow internet connection and a stupid gadget that glitches because he's almost a century old. That's ridiculously hard. Those are kind of just exaggerations, okay? My iPad's just over three years old. As I have mentioned earlier, aside from your class schedules, also take time to have some on-the-go pen and notepad in front of your workspace. It's convenient especially when you have online classes. Take note that most professors tend to relay important points that are not written on the presentation. This is a fact and most of professors are seriously trying to let us think critically by not putting everything on the presentation but spats every ideas out of their mouth in less than 3 hours (which is our maximum class hours as first year students), especially during RLE (Related Learning Experiences). There are also a lot of ideas in studying you could research online. The most important thing is to know what kind of a student are you and what platform or kind of studying technique would you prefer, whether it may be out of printed materials, highlighting texts, listening to lecture replays or simply writing it down again and again. As for me, I do have a handwritten notes of (mostly) my major subjects like Health Assessment and Fundamentals in Nursing Practice. I easily understand the concept and ideas when I slowly read and rewrite them on my grid paper before compiling it to my binder, specifically for my major subjects. Efforts will never betray you. Learning and digging deep down to the topic and researching and reading more about it and some other stuffs related to it can really put you on top of the game. **PICK YOUR CIRCLE CAREFULLY**. Probably the trickiest part of being a college student is picking the right circle for you. You are not a high school student who can easily mess up your subjects and just compensate it with something like a small project or paperwork. College is very different. You fail most of your test and forgets to submit your major projects, you get low grades, or worst, fail. It's that simple. No questions ask. So it is very important to pick the right people you can hang out with and at the same time, are simply ready to be on the rough boat with you along your journey as a college student. What I mean is, be with the people who can help you grow as you step and level up from college. People who are ready to help you out, remind you about certain projects, encourages you to get yourself together and study, and those people who have the same wavelength of interest just like you... to graduate from your course together. It's not just for Nursing, this applies to everyone. Of course, it's a give-and-take situation so don't be a prick. If they need your help, give them the best advice as possible and be there with them also when they're struggling with something academically. **BE GENEROUSLY WISE.** Just like what I have written on the 2nd number, I've seen a lot of students putting so much of their time hanging around with friends and forgetting their academic responsibilities. That really infuriates me. I mean, I am not a very diligent person when it comes to studying but I am very strict when it comes to my outputs' deadline. I can never tolerate people whom I have seen having fun at first and crams about their overdue projects. Like... what the heck are you gonna do now? Ask for MY answers because you FORGOT that you are a college student and you are supposed to be prioritizing your assignment first more than having fun around? NO. Be generously wise. As much as possible I never give out my answers especially when it needs your own opinion and understanding about the concept. I always tell them frankly that I will never give out my answers to them because I worked hard for it and they'll just suck up my ideas just like that so easily. I only tell them what to do and what stuffs they can possibly be able to put on their empty overdue papers. Whether it might be your closest friends, never ever give out your answers especially if you worked hard for it and researched so much for you to be able to combine what you have read and learned. You better tell them to put their heads straight into the game they're in or else they'd be left out because they can't even focus on their academics as college students (which is what you are supposed to do at that age). You should know better. *I apologize for being inactive for a while. I finally finished this article I left untouched last two weeks. I'm so disappointed about myself not being able to update my Read.cash account for over a week now when I had so much ideas coming inside and out of my head. I just finished my summer class over 3 weeks ago and I had so much things going on privately so I never had the time to think carefully of what to actually write.* *P.S. I'd most probably be getting my COVID-19 vaccine tomorrow with my father and he said that it's from J&J, just one dose, so I am thinking of writing my experience and after-effects after getting vaccinated. Wish me for safety and luck!*

@krysterrific 16 July 2021

A Letter to All The Man Who Still Believes in Love ***To All the Man Who Still Believes in Love*** ***July 16, 2021*** *The world has always been cruel and unfair to you at some point. There are a lot of challenges you once ran away from, but you have always been trying your best to stay tough like a real man. Countless nightmares have appeared right before your eyes. Something unknown also scares your "manly" soul. What is it? Responsibilities? Expectations? Roles? Maybe no, but mostly yes. Often times, you have left nothing to rely on but yourself, and living in a society where men are expected to be looking tougher than women seems to be suffocating, right?* *Now hear me out. Up until now, you are doing great. You are doing just fine. You are trying your best. If not, you'll definitely feel something is off from what you do with your life. You, all of you, men... you are also allowed to be soft. You are allowed to feel scared of certain circumstances that may appear in your life. You are allowed to cry your hearts out. You are allowed to feel bad for something you know you have done wrong. You are allowed to scream and release your buckets of emotion, and you are definitely allowed to love someone the way you want it to work for the both of you.* *Liking a man, in my case, who has been in so many struggles and challenges in his life, I really thought I was falling in love with the wrong person (again). He has been broken for so many times that I thought I was not welcome to be liked again. I thought I was not welcome at all but little did I know, I ended up becoming his little hope. His hope to love again genuinely. His hope to finally settle for someone like me. Now we're both happy and contented with what we have as partners. I never really imagined myself being loved again by a man I never thought to be believing in love at all.* *This is to all the man who still believes in love... in real and genuine love.* *If you feel like knowing someone makes you start to build the best future where you want the both of you to be together in, chase it. Go for it. You have all your time to build yourself into someone you want yourself to be... to be someone worthy of something like 'love'. You are worth it, as a person and as a man. Love means taking risks, and risking without starting means nothing at all. What is the point of loving if you can't risk something in return?* *If you think you'll end up being miserable for so long without her, go find and tell her. You have all what you got as long as you know you love her the way who she is. Love can make any possibilities real. Anything is possible as long as you have the faith that everything will go as what God has planned for you to become. Trust the process, continue the patience and never take your partner for granted.* *If you think your current relationship is crumbling into pieces, go take another shot and win her heart again. It's never too late to take the chance and rebuild something that is still waiting to be rebuild. Loving without forgiving just means there is no love at all. Every relationship is imperfect, nothing and no one in this world is perfect. Mistakes may lead us into doubting and fighting but it also slowly builds a stronger foundation into loving someone especially when you forgive and learn from your past mistakes. Of course, asking for forgiveness without changing your bad habit can turn your relationship into turmoils and that is pretty dangerous.* *We are used to seeing men looking tough all over the place, but real men are actually soft inside. They are more emotional than what you think they are, especially when they fall hard in love. They are also actually very realistic when they get to finally settle for the woman they want to have in their lives. You think women are creative enough about their future with their partners? Wait until you fall in love with the man who is sure about you. You may be (or not) surprised by this, but men are very good at paint their future family inside their heads. They are broad-thinkers but they are very persistent on what they want their lives to be when they finally want someone to be a part of it. Men are tough for some time, but men who are madly in love will naturally feel soft for the people they love. Men tend to go hard on themselves as they feel a heavy responsibility as the man and the natural provider in the relationship but it takes also a lot of courage to be a strong woman who can make this kind of man feel secured and comfortable without doing too much effort, at the same time.*

@krysterrific 15 July 2021

Love Letters Do Work ***February 4, 2021 at exactly 7:30PM.*** I took the courage and send this exact message via *Messenger* to that same guy I met, almost 3 years ago. I didn't know what had gotten into me but I really had that sudden urges to confess like its a matter of life and death. I mean, I literally think he never really would have known me by my name, right? I was literally having cold sweats and my knees were shaking as I clicked *send*. **Hello!** **If you ever decided to read this, out of curiosity, or just accidentally clicked when you don't even plan to, I am much happy to finally set my mind free from overthinking on how I should tell you this.** **You were a part of that certain chapter in my book, about 3 years ago. I didn't knew your name—I wasn't curious at all. It's funny how I can still get the pieces of my memory back whenever I get to see you on the hallways of the school, even after meeting a lot of people who, unfortunately, were not even worthy of my time. What can I say to you that I have not said before? Maybe more than of what I am suppose to.** **Maybe I am dead to you, but I am also dead to me. Maybe you are someone else's moon and I am just a dust in your night skies. Maybe you are someone else's warm summer in the midst of their cold winter. Or maybe you are after the cool breeze of the rushing sea when I'm just a coral underwater—unnoticed and irrelevant. You are a human seen and loved by everyone but I can't help but to see poetry in you. You have so much meaning than what you could ever think of. You may think you are nothing but your existence is an inspiration itself. You were partly the reason why I went to nursing school, and it was probably the best decision I ever made, because I've been obsessed with studying and knowing things these days.** **I've been looking up to you silently since then, and I never fret about it for years, not until now. You may think this is weird of me but... yes, I like you. Not the 'like' people nowadays would think about. I like you and your flaws—everything seen and unseen, the mood, the atmosphere and the vibe you give off. I like you just how I like looking right straight into the moon every night. I don't even know why. It just happened.** **Reaching this part, I hope you get to know even just the slightest part of me, and how I express stuffs to the people I want to keep in my life. I wrote this, not expecting anything in return. I just want to let you know how I feel before I run out of time. I took the chance because I only live once in this lifetime.** **After this, you are free to say whatever you want to say, you are free to throw shades and hate on me if you want to, you are free to ask me advices and talk to me like a friend, and you are free to enter my life anytime you want. I am always here, looking after you, as a friend and as your junior in nursing school.** **I might regret this later, but who cares?**  **Sincerely yours,** **V. Krystel Joy** Minutes later, he literally have seen my message and I saw him typing something... ***What do you think happened next?***

@krysterrific 14 July 2021

5 Things I Regret Not Knowing Before Entering Nursing School Hey, there! If you happen to pass by this article and decides to see what’s inside, (maybe if you are a current nursing student, already an RN, someone who aspires to enter nursing school someday, or just a regular and an avid reader of random articles here in Read Cash), thank you in advance. Also, if you ever got the chance to read the article I made about myself (Introduction, Coz Why Not?), you may have the slightest idea that I am an incoming 2nd year nursing student this upcoming school year, so please do not doubt or think I’m bold enough to write stuffs about “NURSING” because this will literally just be about my nursing school experience (just a small disclaimer) because I am one from the thousands of apprentices of Grandma Nightingale. Now let’s get started, shall we? The title speaks literally of what you are about to read. Now I admit I am not one of those ‘*role model*’ type of student who are straight A’s and those who are aiming for the Dean’s List or something. I am just a regular student from a private institution here in Bacolod City where I am currently enrolled in. About two years ago, when I was in 11th Grade, I was in total dilemma as I was stuck between taking up either Foreign Language, Journalism or Nursing (but definitely at first, Nursing was the 3rd option for me) after I took the admission exam from a very well-known public university in Iloilo City where I was eligible to take up the first two courses I initially put as my 2nd and 3rd option (aside from Nursing which I chose as the 1st one and I was not included on the official cut off score since I missed that 3 damn points). *I lied to myself, really.* I was not 100% sure about taking up nursing after all. I always thought I knew the struggle of nursing students as I had a few senior friends and a few relative that shared some of their most bizarre and toughest experiences both when they were still studying Nursing and after they worked as Registered Nurses (RNs). I was totally wrong because after finishing my 1st year in nursing school, I realized: **Number 1: ANATOMY AND PHYSIOLOGY IS DEFINITELY THE MOST ESSENTIAL FOUNDATION FOR THE UPCOMING MORE SUBJECTS.** I heard a lot about “Anatomy and Physiology” from my Biology II teacher when I was in Senior High School. He told us in class that this is the most important part in starting our Nursing journey after graduating from high school. I didn’t really paid attention at that moment so I was “*slightly*” culture shocked by the amount of contents, worksheets and softcopies of books and references our professors are feeding us, especially on an online class setting. I knew the basics but I didn’t know we’ll go deeper on each of the body systems the human body ever has. Now I knew why he warned us about going ‘*deeper*’ because Anatomy and Physiology, thank goodness, is definitely the most beneficial subject I ever took. It definitely helped me during health assessments, online return demonstrations and even when I am self-studying and looking up diseases that may be linked to a certain abnormality of the human body. **Number 2: NURSING REQUIRES SO MUCH PATIENCE.** Student nurses and professional nurses are well-known and are trained to be patient and kind towards their patients and their families (at least that’s what we learned from our professors). Not only on speaking, administering medicines and performing procedures to patients, but also on studying. Nursing requires so much brain cells to work and if you may think you don’t have enough of those, and even patience, you might as well get your acts together and think why you started in the first place. As for me, I am a very impatient person in general so I won’t deny, I’ve struggled for a few months after entering the first semester of classes last 2020, thinking “why am I even here?” I tend to wake up late, I enter my online class meeting late and I also “intentionally” don’t enter some online classes because I thought I was simply “bored” and “tired” of everything. I didn’t know I was completely doing the wrong stuffs I didn’t really thought I am capable of doing before I entered nursing school. That killed my own willingness to learn and my grades slowly dropped from almost 90+ down to the dreadful 70+ I never knew I could even have my whole life as a consistent achiever (but luckily I got myself together and rose up again to a “more” satisfying grades that I could). **Number 3: SLEEPLESS NIGHTS AND BREAKDOWNS DOESN’T END THERE.** Nursing will never be on its most interesting peak without your continuous sleepless nights studying (or even procrastinating) and constantly breaking down. Don’t be surprised. Almost every day of your life as a student nurse, you’ll end up finding yourself sitting, zoning out and slowly losing your own self to the moment. You think taking up Nursing is the worst decision you’ve ever made at some point of your journey. Trust me, I’ve been there, I’ve done that. Nursing is challenging and for me as a certified procrastinator and a crammer, I only had a few breakdowns just because of the never-ending worksheets that worth me over a hundred points and deadlines at 11:59PM but most of the time, you’ll going to just postpone your breakdowns because you still have a lot of stuffs to do. It’s okay to feel horrible sometimes. You just need to find enough reasons how to continue doing what you’re working with. You are doing great as long as you don’t completely quit. **Number 4: GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK.** I am guilty for doing a little too hard in order to survive even just a semester. One random day, I decided to slightly take a step back from my study table, look on a broader perspective on that very room and realized I have been working without even knowing where I was going to. I look dumb, really. As I take a look at myself in the mirror, I barely even recognized myself anymore. I was working and studying through my notes so hard that I forgot about working a little more on myself. I literally lost weight and my parents have been telling me I’m going to be the patient first before I could even get to become a nurse. They’re absolutely right. Taking a little break from time to time isn’t too bad after all. You need to lessen what your mind bears sometimes and release some happy hormones. Maybe your favorite hobby or a cup of coffee can help. **Number 5: GRADES ARE NOT REALLY THE DEFINITION OF HOW WELL YOU PERFORM ON THE ACTUAL SETTING.** Grades are how you get after being rated by your professor depending on the quality of what you submit as required by the school curriculum. Your grades may be your steppingstone in order to level up but in general, your inner knowledge on how to deal with certain situations as a student nurse is what the real deal is. You may be good at answering those long situation-based essays but how sure are you that you can attend correctly to your patient on the actual hospital setting? I am guilty about this at the 1st semester of classes but after adjusting myself from the setup of classes and the professor’s standards, I completely got the hang of it. I researched more on the 2nd semester and dived deeper on some patient’s condition I might face along the way. I only realized how self-study and properly studied personal knowledge gets me on top of the game, when I constantly got questioned by my Clinical Instructors about a certain abnormality of a patient’s condition after a neurological assessment and she remarked how I got the answer right among all of my classmates. See? Your answers on your paper doesn’t guarantee you’ll also get it right the first time you’re exposed to the actual setting, and clearly the knowledge your professors are giving you are still not enough and you have to be hungry for knowledge every time. Of course you are allowed to make subtle mistakes but a 2nd error means you are not putting what you learn from your brain down to your inner soul as a student nurse. Nursing is fun, they said. Yes, it is. Fun but challenging. Although COVID-19 has slightly affected us and how we get the knowledge we need, we still have the same goal and that is to continue learning. I, too, has still a lot of things that I am still clueless about and I am (as being described by some of my friends) hungry for knowledge, studious and diligent about nursing stuffs. Although I am really not… most of the time but I still try my best because I know now that getting into this path will never be a smooth sail towards success.

@krysterrific 12 July 2021

This is me. How about you? ***Hey, peepsies~*** ***I knew I’m supposed to put up an introductory article about me first so I can establish myself well on this platform before I could officially and continually post articles about what interests me and everyone around me but I failed to do so. So… nevermind. I’ll do it tonight. This is my 3rd article and I don’t really have an idea if anyone would take a peek and put their interests on who I am and what I do but who know, right?*** ***I am Krystel Joy but you can freely call me “Krys”, “Tel”, or “Joy”. My friends call me either of the three so it doesn’t really matter for me, just don’t call me “Hoy!” or “Psst!” in person or I might assume you’re some kind of a perverted psychopath asking for attention.*** ***I am currently 20 years old and I am an incoming 2nd year Nursing student right from the Western side of Visayas… Negros Occidental, to be exact. I am a total “probinsyana” so I am fully aware about the farm life where I was born and raised from.*** ***I am a young student journalist since I was in 6th grade until on my 10th grade focusing on News Headlining and Copy Editing Filipino. If you are unfamiliar with that school publication position, let me brief you on how I became so passionate and perfectionist about my work at the same time. Basically, Headlining speaks about itself, I do and make the titles of every articles on the school publication before it’s being written and printed to be distributed to the student body. There are a lot of complicated stuffs going around headlining as every letter has varying equivalent points. As with the Copy Editing, I basically proofread, re-arrange the news flow and edit every article drafted by my co-student journalists that may be read by the whole student body. Becoming used to editing stuffs, I naturally adapted the attitude of criticizing every essays, articles and errors on papers I would ever see. Friends also do come and make me translate, re-arrange poetries and put some add-ons to their essays. Easy but complicated. I am basically a “Grammar Nazi” and I really cannot stand people who are ‘error-makers’ especially on paper works… really.*** ***Now you may have the slightest clue on how my whole personality works. I won’t mention my exact birthdate but I am a hundred percent Aries and an IFNJ-T so I am naturally quite bossy when I am working on something I would want to finish as early as possible. I am very strict when it comes to stuffs that I am passionate about. I hate short and pointless conversations and people who lack self-discipline and common sense in general but I am also rather slightly indecisive at some circumstances.*** ***What I love to do? Sleeping. Yes, I sleep a lot. I sleep when there’s nothing to do. I sleep when I am bored. I even sleep after I wake up every morning especially when the pandemic took over the country. I also literally have spent almost all of my free time sleeping on every corners of the school library even before this pandemic hit the globe. I am a sleepyhead and I do not care about anyone else as long as I want to sleep, I will find my own ways.*** ***Any sports? I officially do play badminton for over 6 years now, competing within the school and against other schools. I am not a pro, though. I play for fun as my parents haven’t been very supportive of me, playing sports like this. They’d prefer me sitting inside my room, writing down stuffs and studying countless books to improve my grades, which I don’t really have the choice to go against to. They don’t really care about anything else but my own academic standing. Stereotypical Asian parents…*** ***Romance? Oh no. I mean, yes. I have my one and only significant other at the moment (I know he’s silently lurking around read cash, reading my articles) and he’s actually the one who introduced me to becoming an ambitious person with a millionaire mindset. Yes, we click and we both know that. We’re very good friends before we levelled up our relationship and now, we’re sailing smoothly even though we’re literally on a long-distance relationship. Oh, snaaap.*** ***I do have a lot of ambitions in mind. I may not be a very straightforward person, but I have a very clear mindset of how I want my life to flow years after I finish Nursing school. I may be a pro-procrastinator but I have set my mind to the stuffs I need to finish before I could grind and do them faster than anyone else.*** ***I look forward to knowing some of you here as well. I am just a regular student trying to survive Nursing school so I kind of have a few ideas I would love to write for the following few days. If you like my (rather) long introduction about myself, please don’t hesitate to communicate through the comment section, subscribe, like and upvote a few of my existing articles. Thank you very much in advance, peepsies~***

@krysterrific 12 July 2021

I've only been here for just less than 5 days now but @Codename_Chikakiku finally sponsored me in read cash. Thank you very much and I apologize if I haven't thanked you the day you decided to sponsor me. ✨

@krysterrific 11 July 2021

Diving Back to 2018 Dear Diary, *I was anxiously looking at my mother while she was silently walking me to an unfamiliar place I have never gone to, my whole life. (I mean, we came here like 3 months ago but that wasn't even a complete visit), I even thought they had swimming pools here. I’m still feeling nauseous after riding the same bus we’re riding back and forth for years now whenever we go shopping before the new school year starts annually.* *I grew up independently as a woman but I can’t deny that I was still depending on my parents as their first daughter my whole life and now, they are literally ready to throw me out of our town to a totally different environment I haven't seen before. As we were nearly getting into the entrance of the new institution, my heart is slowly pacing its way up as I sweat out the uncomfortable feeling I haven't felt for a while. It felt different, to be honest. It felt new.* *She totally knew this will be a big challenge for me, coming into the city to continue my studies like nothing really happened back to where I came from. Still, I had to get myself together and try to blend in.* *I am new here.* *They don’t know me.* *I can be myself here.* *That’s all that mattered to me at this point of time.* *A male staff led us to the admission office after my mother asked for the enrollment process and we were greeted by a few familiar faces whom I first met as I took the entrance exam 3 months ago. Now I’m back to finally get myself enrolled and I really never felt left out because everyone was literally very friendly to me.* *A few minutes later, a rather young and skinny man entered and was greeted by all the staffs inside the office. He seemed to be a popular guy among these school staffs. He was wearing a thick eyeglass, a pair of sneakers, jeans and a slightly fitted shirt that follows his body form that obviously makes him look skinnier. He is literally looking like a geek… or a nerd rather. By the looks of that young man I assume he’s good at board games… or computer games.* *He was then instructed to lead me up to a couple more floors for the whole enrollment process and I am very much delighted to come and explore the school further. He smiled… slightly smile, I think? I don’t know. He seems nice actually. Nice but weird. The whole few walks were silent as we pass by a few more unfamiliar faces processing their papers. It was really awkward but I don’t really care because I am still in awe about the school building that we’re walking through and was connected to another building next to it. This is new and quite unique.* *Before we could even get to the room where I assume to be the computer laboratory (as indicated above the door), he asked me if I was taking up STEM as an 11th grader and I gladly said yes. As I heard his voice, I noticed he kind of sounded so feminine so I assumed (again) that he was… gay. I am so sorry in advance if he ever gets the change to read this here. That was my first official talk to someone I am unfamiliar with. He was the first regular student I ever talked to my whole life after coming into the city.* *He gladly asked again if what I will be taking after I graduate from Senior High School. I timidly said “Nursing.” And it slightly made him smile even bigger as he replied that he will be taking Nursing too. I saw a slight excitement on his face after hearing my answer. He even said he’d be glad to have me on the same department with him. It also made me excited, actually. I am happy to find such a nice person who will be my senior soon, maybe?* *After everything, we thank him for helping us out for the enrollment process before me and my mother finally went to the mall to eat lunch. We roam around the mall and got myself some new stuffs, including my new bag and a new iPad I’m supposed to use for school. I would never have the chance to own an iPad if I wasn’t even enrolled on that private institution. Too lucky for me, they got me one~* *Unfortunately, I didn’t get his name. I NEVER GOT HIS NAME. He’s supposed to be my first ever friend in this chaotic city that’s definitely new to my very eyes. I didn’t know that I could be that stupid. Wow, self, I salute your stupidity.* Krystel Joy

@krysterrific 10 July 2021

13 Reminders to Live By **The past is in the past, focus on the future.** - How would you improve yourself if you still want to meddle with your past? Can your past do something for you now? No, it definitely cannot. But one thing is for sure—it was meant to happen for you to learning something from it. **Opinions do not define reality.** - The thing is—you are not what they say about you. Things are way different if you look at it positively. Mind your own business and never let people's opinion ruin your life. You know yourself better than anyone else. **Everyone's journey is different.** - You are not me, I am not you. Be sensitive with others. We all have different paths to take, different experiences to face and different people to meet in the future. There is no use in comparing yourself to others. **Time is the essence of healing.** -You may be drained, exhausted and hurting right now, but trust me—trust the process. Time heals. All you need is a positive mind and a little bit of encouragement. **Judgement is a confession of character.** - Be careful. Pick the right words before speaking it out loud. What you say about other people might be the one best describes you. **Overthinking will lead to sadness.** - This might be easily applied to me—an overthinker. People like me tend to forget that life is much wider than just our own perspective. We overthink about small stuffs we know we cannot do anything about—leaving us down. **Happiness is an inside job, found within.** - We should not let our own emotions and our own happiness depend on other people—we create it ourselves. We may not know how but I believe everything starts from our mindsets. **Positive thoughts, create positive actions.** - Some circumstances may bring us down but remember that a positive mind can create the best positive outcome. Do not be hindered by certain unexpected moments you may think you cannot handle. Everything has it's own way of fixing. **Smiles are contagious.** - Some people's job is to make others happy, but behind those smiles they are also facing certain problems. The key is to not stop smiling. You may not know yet but someone needs that smile—the person next to you, the person you may pass by the hallways, or that certain person who loves you the most. **Sprinkle kindness, it's free.** - Kindness is everywhere, we should just be observant. Being kind is simple. You just need to open up your mind to some things other people cannot see the way it is. Kindness is given to those who deserve it. **You only fail if you quit.** - It doesn't matter how many times you stumble, the important thing is not giving up. Today may not be the time for you to shine but someday, you will find your own light. Just don't quit on doing what you love. **What goes around, comes around.** - They say people come and go—I couldn't agree more. Whatever comes into your life, gladly accept and face it. If it comes to you, it is probably meant for you to keep. If not, then freely let it go. **The quicker you choose to move forward, the quicker the suffering ends.** - Moving forward would be the hardest thing a person, attached to his own past, could ever do. But the past is just a lesson for us to keep moving forward. It does not concern us anymore—though we have been a part of it. ***Hi! I am*** @krysterrific***, a 20 year-old Nursing student and an aspiring writer from the Philippines! I came into read.cash thanks to*** @Ayane-chan***, making me slowly learn more, write more and be more of what I am capable of doing.***