Okay, I have always been the friendly type, although, most first impressions I get is that I'm not, that I am a snob and I am serious.
For most part, I am serious when it comes to serious stuff, like work and things that needs to be done, but outside of work, I may not be as funny as some, but I'd like to think I'm fun to be with and I can get along with most anyone, even those that are snobbish, I find I can get along with. I believe I'm smart enough to bring something to any conversation, and as I said, most people are shocked when they get to talk to me and they realize that I am easy to talk to.
Sad to note is that I don't have many friends. Ever since I got married, my life had revolved around my family, my husband and my 2 kids. Since I have worked from home since I had a difficult first pregnancy I don't have a lot of avenue to make new friends. I have a couple of friends who I had since around College who are still friends but since we live so far apart, our lives are so different now and don't get me wrong, when we see each other, its like time and space doesn't exist, we pick up where we left off, but those meetings are few and far between. We are all busy with our own lives and we don't get to spend as much time as we would want.
Now come an opportunity to have friends when I started becoming active in our parish. I've met a few people, but none have come close to really become friends. All our just passing acquaintances. No one who started to get to know me in depth.
Before the pandemic started, our parish priest has placed me in a position of note in our church and a lot of people had started noticing me. I felt the difference on how they interact with me. Some curious as to who I am, everybody jockeying to get to know me, for the most part, I think it was because I hold that particular position and they believe that I can give something for them 's why they are always around hoping to have a piece of the pie.
I'm having a hard time trying to find people I can be really friends with. Those who don't have an agenda in mind. those who will just be my friend for the sake of being my friend. I miss having someone to talk to and just to have fun with. I feel hurt when someone would message me in chat just because they need something or would like to ask for a favor I can give. Sometimes, its hard to filter people and find those without their agenda in mind...
Right now, I think I found a few, who I am starting to consider as friends. I hope that one day, they will really find me as someone who they can be friends with and not just someone who can give them something. They are starting to get to know me and I them. I hope the time will come when I can be who I am with them and can feel right at home. Right now, its a budding friendship I hope will turn into a real lasting friendship.
How about you? Do you have a lot of friends? Or just a few you really treasure?
