It's been sometime since I wrote/typed those words. It has always seem personal and something one don't want to share.
I agree though that a diary can be a big help to one's psych. it allows for thoughts to flow freely without prejudice and it helps one assess the mind. So I decided to join this Community and begin writing to a diary anew.
I'm not sure how good it would be or how helpful it will be to others but I'm hopeful that somehow it will be helpful for me.
Today wasn't a bad day, but it wasn't a good day either. It's already late and I know I have to sleep soon because I have service tomorrow. I am a lector at church and our Mass is at 7am, so need to be there early. 630 at the latest, much earlier if I can but 630 is a good time. But I do need to wake up at 530 so I can take a bath and prepare myself for reading, and its streamed on FB so I need to look good lest I find myself plastered online and looking icky! LOL.
Anyways, I feel blah today, I'm not sure if its the meds I took, allergy meds since I felt the itching of an allergy in my face the other night. I was feeling sleepy yesterday and today, so its been two days, so I'm not sure if its just the meds or something else that's making me feel so down today. I spent most of the afternoon just laying in bed half asleep. I wanted to write an article for this platform and be more active in the other, plus do my faucets. But I really wasn't feeling up to it. I just really wanted to do absolutely nothing.
I'm feeling the pressure of the bills and the insufficient funds to do stuff. I'm pissed that my husband doesn't seem to be bothered. But I definitely am. I'm feeling it so bad that I'm feeling down worrying when part of me knows that this is happening because of the worrying...
I just wish that one day soon, I don't have to worry about it and not worry about not having enough. I know I need to focus my strength on what I can do now and not worry about what I cannot do and believe that one day I will be able to do all that I want... One day, one day soon and it will all be better...
