Maybe we live the day, week, or month when nothing works, our motivation slips out of our hands, and we focus entirely on giving up. Our self-esteem has left our body and we are covered with a simple feeling of "worthlessness". Breathe, because we all live that day in some way. It is a known fact that those vulnerable emotions imposed by a fast-paced lifestyle take up all of us from time to time. Your feeling this way says nothing about your character or talent.
The only annoyance is that the longer you stay in a situation where you feel worthless, the more you will begin to lose your clarity and vital skills. Because although it is normal to feel this way, staying in that emotional state can become a choice.
“Worthlessness” manifests itself with different reflections in every person;
-Heavy and dull pain in the body,
-Negative thoughts about self,
-Caused crying spells, hopelessness and depression-like troubles,
-Social anxiety,
-Loss of life purpose, loss of interest in life, etc.
When a person who feels worthless is unable to find a way out for a long time, he is likely to move away from his existing social relationships, be unable to express himself emotionally, talk in a negative tone, be lethargic, not satisfy his self-care needs and unfortunately develop bad substance addiction when he reaches the extreme limit can be directed.
What causes such disruption of man's relationship with himself and the world?
1) Could people tell you that you were not okay?
Being criticized and humiliated by others in the past are the most powerful experiences that instill feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness in people.
While it may seem difficult to understand why someone is trying to lower someone else's existence, many people grow up in homes that have been repeatedly told they are worthless. For many reasons, some parents are able to create a family institution where they project their own disappointment with life and teach them that they are not actually worth loving. At other times in your life, your boss or colleagues can make statements about your performance that make you feel that you are not good at anything. Being criticized frequently can then lead to the person's inner voice being based on criticism, and to speak in a judgmental tone towards himself and his environment.
2) Have you ever had a childhood trauma?
Neglect, abuse and maltreatment that have left a permanent mark in childhood can all play a role in the development of feelings of worthlessness. Many of us carry the traces of these negative memories into our adulthood as a "feeling of worthlessness".
3) Do you compare yourself to others?
We spend a lot of time looking after others, reading about others, wishing to own another life, earning more money, owning a different job or home. Gratitude has just become a cliché word. The less we have, the more worthless we can feel.
4) Have you experienced a big change in your life?
Sometimes a change in our identity can change our sense of self. Career, marriage, etc. Since processes have been described as an indicator of success for many of us, we can use blaming ourselves as an easy coping method when we experience divorce or job loss. Consequently, as major changes bring with them both acute and chronic stress; inexperience in relation to stress or misleading perceptions of stress; After a serious setback, such as financial problems, divorce or job loss, it can make us feel worthless.
5) Do you have health problems?
One last thing to consider is that you may be experiencing a health problem that is beyond your control. It is an important step to listen carefully to your body and pay attention to what it tells you. The wisdom of the body gives you clues as to whether you are actually experiencing physical or psychological distress.
If your attention is constantly outside, it will be difficult for you to listen to that wise voice and to recognize your body. If you are experiencing uncontrollable emotions or physical pain-like symptoms, consulting a specialist without delay will help you avoid many troubles.
Ways to deal with the feeling of worthlessness
Without forgetting that feeling worthless from time to time is a phenomenon that everyone experiences, we can look for ways to cope with this feeling without being chased after it.
1. As we take great strides in the path of personal development, our sensitivities will increase at the same rate.
If you are a person working on yourself in this field, you should know that feelings of worthlessness are also a part of this development. You may now come out of that untransformed space where you were always right, disperse judgment, and face your true shadows. The thing to note here is that you can practice accepting yourself as you are. Mindfulness exercises are very useful for those who are closely interested in personal development. Otherwise, reading books, listening to speeches or taking seminars that make you feel incomplete, wrong and inadequate will only make you feel more worthless.
2. You are exactly where you need to be.
One of the biggest misconceptions in our view of psychology is the idea that when we feel bad, we should immediately escape from it. "Negative" emotions are just as healthy as positive ones. Where we suffer is our reaction to negative emotions, whereas any emotion alone is a healthy and normal part of life.
Being prejudiced against negative emotions; It will also impede your growth, maturation, and your search for meaning and purpose. It can then be said that sometimes feeling worthless is not a barrier, but a catalyst for growth.
3. This feeling is temporary.
Emotions are often scattered, random, and unpredictable. In the brain; There are so many connections between events that a delightful image reminds you of that resentment you experienced when you were young, while a bad smell can make you feel a happy memory. Everything is shocking for an unaware person. When these connections are noticed, you know that they are temporary. Famous neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor argues that any emotion lasts much shorter than we think. According to Taylor, the chemical emotion process takes only 90 seconds.
4. Have a different experience that you don't have in your life.
"Contrasts"; It enables us to ask better questions and thus build deeper connections with ourselves. In this way, we also empathize with the struggles of those people we call others. Thinking in the same way all the time and giving the same reactions is one of the biggest damages that a person does to himself psychologically. However, when we are curious about the feelings and experiences of both ourselves and other people; We can be compassionate instead of judgmental. Instead of labeling ourselves, we can be open to new insights. As we develop different paths, it will become easier to break our molds and deal with our sense of worthlessness.
5. Stamina is super power.
Being emotionally resilient is a concept related to turning the negative aspects of emotions, thoughts and events in their favor. Spending hours on social media to avoid negativities and ignore them, watching all episodes of a series in a row can sometimes be enjoyable and relaxing, but these approaches cannot eliminate that deep pain. They only have benefits if they give you time to cope later. If it is a means for you to suppress, the result may of course be a path to spiritual collapse.
It can be helpful to take steps in the responsibility topic to increase resilience. Because essentially, we are the only one responsible for our lives. In addition, breathing studies are practices that can affect people's endurance and their perspective to events in this sense. Another possible way is to benefit other living things. Being able to reach all living things that really need and help, regardless of quality or quantity, is the greatest strength-providing feature people can acquire. You don't even need to do anything wonderful, extraordinary, sometimes just being there for another creature can improve both your and your life.
Finally; Looking at the truth objectively will make you feel grateful and see that you have potential and skills in many different areas. You don't have to believe every bad thought that comes to your mind.
Wow, great work.