It is a situation that I often do in my life and get good results. Forgiveness can be thought of as a selfish act, because all benefits are to the forgiving person. In fact, this quote summarizes in advance the whole idea that I will try to give in my article. Forgiveness does not mean forgiving, approving, forgetting, or letting go of your behavior. Forgiveness is all about you.
What does it mean that forgiveness is all about the person who forgives?
Think about it, the person you forgive doesn't have to know about the act of forgiveness you've committed. This process that you will carry out within yourself means that you decide not to carry the feelings you have about this person anymore. The accumulated emotional loads sometimes weigh more than carrying physical loads. When you forgive, you release the mental and emotional burden you have about what happened.
If inside of you, "Is it the same that I will forgive after all this?". If there is a resilient side that says, try to understand his feeling. Do you realize you're still in pain? For your own sake, you may decide not to bear this pain anymore. You can free yourself, choose to leave alone. Forgiveness does not necessarily have to be against someone else. One of the heaviest emotional burdens is the guilt in which we turn the poisonous arrows at ourselves. When it comes to forgiving yourself or others, when you dare to forgive, you should know that you are doing it only for your own good. ⠀
Forgiveness is a choice. When you don't forgive, part of you continues to live out of anger, guilt, pain, fear, or shame. You may believe these emotions help protect yourself at some point, but they actually hinder your progress. Learning to forgive changes your attitude towards life and heals you, so your relationships with your environment will improve in this direction. When you forgive, you release your negative emotions so that they cannot surface over and over again. You leave behind what happened, break the chains of the past and move on with your life.
I choose to forgive and say, "How do I do this?" The steps below may help. You can also find many meditations related to this on the internet.
First of all, move to a quiet place where you are not disturbed. Determine who and why you want to forgive. ⠀
Determine what you honestly think about the situation and, more importantly, how you feel. You may also want to write them down. Identifying your emotions clearly is the first step in choosing to get rid of them. ⠀
Think about how you would like to feel when you forgive. It will probably be the reverse of the previous item. ⠀
Now close your eyes, focus on the person you are considering to forgive and your intention to forgive. Release the feelings and thoughts you identified in point 3, focusing on the benefits of being forgiven.
You can relive that intensity of emotion while releasing your emotions. Stay in focus and think that you have released those emotions and how you would like to feel from now on. Remind yourself that you forgive that person again when necessary.
