As always, I want to start my article with a nice word: "Know yourself". You may have heard this phrase written at the entrance of the Temple of Apollo in Delphi, Greece. For example, in The Matrix, the Latin version of "Temet Nosce" is: Self-awareness is what is meant by knowing yourself. Self-awareness is defined as being aware of one's emotions, strengths, needs and motives. A person with strong self-awareness neither criticizes himself unnecessarily nor has dreams. Instead, he prefers to be honest with himself and others.
People with high self-awareness know how their emotions, discourses and thought patterns affect themselves, others and their work. They are aware of their values and goals, in which direction they are headed, and why they are going in that direction, so they can easily turn down an offer that looks good in the short term but does not fit their values. Those who lack self-awareness ignore their deep-seated values and therefore make decisions that will lead them to experience internal conflict. For example, they can choose a profession that is not suitable for them only because it is fashionable and profitable of the time. Decisions of people with high self-awareness are compatible with their values. As a result, they seem passionate and energetic no matter what they are doing.
What is self awareness?
Research shows that when we can see ourselves clearly, that is, when we get to know ourselves, our self-confidence and creativity increase. We start to make more rational decisions, build more robust relationships, and communicate more effectively. We are less likely to lie, cheat and steal. Whatever we do, we do it better, become a more effective leader, make our employees happier and our company more profitable. Researchers define self-awareness in various ways.
While some see this concept as internal self-awareness, which is the ability to observe our inner world, others define it as external self-awareness, which is the difference between how we look at ourselves and how others see us. Inner self-awareness describes how clearly we can see our values, passions, desires, harmony with the world, reactions (including thoughts, feelings, behaviors, strengths and weaknesses) and their impact on other people. A study found that high self-awareness leads to professional satisfaction, more satisfying relationships, personal and social control, and happiness. It has also been shown to reduce anxiety, stress and depression. External self-awareness, on the other hand, means knowing how other people view us in the context of the factors listed above. People who know how they look by others feel skilled at showing empathy and being able to look at things from an outside perspective.
How to develop self-awareness?
It is assumed that introspection, that is, searching the causes of thoughts, feelings and behaviors, increases awareness. After all, what better way to get to know yourself than to investigate why you are and behave that way? However, research shows that people who are introspective and constantly try to analyze themselves in a self-focused way have lower levels of self-awareness, professional satisfaction and well-being. The trouble with introspection is not that it is an ineffective method, but that many people misapply it. To understand this, let's take a look at probably the most common self-understanding question: "Why?"
Why you are probably asking the question to understand your feelings, behaviors and attitudes: Why do I behave this way? Why is this like it happened to me? But research says the "why" question is a surprisingly ineffective question of self-awareness. Again, researches show that it is not possible to reach many of the thoughts, feelings and motivations that we are curious about. Because many things take place outside of our conscious awareness (unconscious), we invent answers that seem right to us but are often wrong and distorted. Since the human mind is rarely rational, judgments are seldom free from prejudice. You cling to the answer you find without questioning its validity, ignore the evidence, force yourself to approve the first statement that comes to your mind.
Asking the question of “why” also causes useless and negative thoughts and the thoughts in the mind we call rumination. For example, "Why didn't I succeed?" The person who asks the question to himself focuses on his fear, inadequacy and insecurity. Therefore, people who constantly question themselves have a high level of depression and anxiety and a low level of well-being. Again, research shows that in order to make an efficient internal evaluation and to avoid unproductive thoughts, the question of “what” should be asked, not “why”.
The "what" question allows you to maintain your objectivity, focus on the future, and find the strength to act in line with new ideas. Stuck to the questions "Why I feel so bad", "Why I can't love myself" makes your situation worse. Instead of these questions, “What are the situations that make me feel bad? And what do they have in common? " It helps you to be better and happier by protecting you from the trap of negative thinking cycle (rumination).
How does psychological counseling help in increasing self-awareness?
It is very difficult for a person to try to get to know himself. As I said above, introspection requires a skill and if one does not know how to introspect, he gets lost in the question of "why". For this reason, it is best to get support from a psychological counselor in the journey of getting to know yourself.
Psychological counseling helps in this process as follows: Your problem, negative beliefs, rumination in your mind, unrealistic self-perception and expectations from this process, your needs, things that do not go well in your life and things you want to improve in your life are determined, your goals are determined and By using methods and techniques suitable for your goals, you are able to manage your mind and your life in this direction.
Nice post