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Once in a post; I talked about an approach to learned optimism and I completed my article exactly as follows. So does optimism always work? Could there be situations where it wouldn't work? And even are there situations where this way of thinking should not be used at all? Let's look for some answers to these questions.
Admittedly, optimism is a good thing for us compared to pessimism. It allows you to change your negative generalizations that do not support you and do not work for you, and scenarios that cause concern. But what if one of those scenarios comes true.
I would like to list a few items as follows. Whatever the result you want to achieve, if it is a risky issue or if the risk level is high, do not use optimism techniques.
I want to give an example. During my cancer treatment, I tried many complementary exercises and practices that were very good for me, and at one point even came to the following thought. I was feeling incredibly well and I was saying I don't need surgery. I strongly believe that all of my examinations performed before the planned surgery would be good and I thought they would cancel my surgery. It didn't happen that way, surgery was decided. There are concrete, real data here. If I ignored this data and jumped out of myself as an optimist, just because I was fine, maybe I wouldn't be with you right now. Reading the data and choosing an optimistic point of view.
For example, this; To be able to say "Yes, then I get rid of these bad cells with a very good surgery".
It would be unbelievable behavior for a pilot to take flight because "nothing will happen to us" in a situation where he cannot be given a flight permit due to weather conditions. This way of behavior is also the product of a stupid idea, far from optimistic.
Other areas where optimism techniques don't work, says Martin Seligman.
When counseling people whose futures are not so bright, do not use optimism at first.
I think it's a controversial thought. However, I always think that hollow, unruly, excessive motivation, gassing, so to speak, would be very dangerous. In my opinion, getting caught up in excessive enthusiasm causes a person to lose his judgment.
Another area is this; If you want to share in other people's troubles, don't start with optimism, says Martin Seligman. Build trust and understanding first.
Here I agree with this thought. The best friends who supposedly try to boost people's morale, may list the beautiful possibilities with all optimism, but it is such a correct approach to try to understand what the other person is experiencing first. Understand your emotions, tell them you understand, try to understand, then look for alternatives through the optimistic window what might happen.
You are either born optimistic or you are on your way to learning optimism. There's something I've always said. Optimism includes reality. While looking through optimism in these areas exemplified by Martin Seligman, we need to enlarge our reality filter a little more. See the data and evaluate the options from every angle.
If you don't have a lot of risk, optimism always pays off. For example, pick up that phone that you hold and don't call. What is the worst, you will be rejected. Then what happens, maybe you will learn how to persuade. So much of life is full of frustrations with a lot of unnecessary helplessness that is not death at the end. In such situations, looking through the lens of really optimism brings a lot to people. If the risk is high, you can enlarge the reality filter in front of the optimism window a little more and it will be over.