Our own children are our happy pill. The sweetest creatures you could ever find in this world. They are the ones who take away the body pain or any sadness in your heart. Children so sweet and innocent. They are pure stress relievers.
It's been a while since I have been away from my kids. Some weeks ago I experienced fever and had to call my parents to fetch my children thinking I might be having Covid symptoms. I called my doctor but after some tests he found nothing wrong with my health. Still I continued and finished the 2 week isolation period just to make sure.
The following week, I was already feeling better and excitedly reported for work. I spent the whole week working and went home once to my kids to see how they are doing. We were about to bring them home but due to restrictions of the local government the children remained in my parents house.
Just when we are about to set up a plan on how we could be together while they were there, when we already planned to travel everyday just to be with them.. something happened at my workplace. 😔
There was a thread of workers getting sick. And it was pretty alarming since the others have obviously manifested symptoms of the virus. People have started leaving their stations for getting sick.
On the last days of my first week going back to work, I noticed my nose felt really stuffy as if I'm having a severe sinusitis. I ignored it but told my husband not to go home to the kids because I have a bad feeling about what's happening in my workplace. But he insisted once.
So we slept again without the kids. It's an awful feeling to be away from your children. But for their own safety I have to leave them to which I think is the safest place for them to stay.
It's a great Monday morning. I was pretty productive and the day almost ended well. Almost!!
Until human resource called me and asked for my medical records during my 14 day isolation period. I remember I had already submitted the papers and laboratory results right after it was issued by my physician. The HR said she doesn't have it and I insisted. She told me to go home and have myself tested for Covid before going back to work.
I was so confused. I didn't refuse but demanded for the expenses to be shouldered by the agency since I am their employee and they are the ones who require it. Besides I'm not the only one who left my table for getting sick. One more thing, I got the assurance from my doctor that I wasn't actually sick on those days. I was just too mentally exhausted and needed some rest. I stood for my doctors findings but still submitted for my agency's requirement.
The next day a co worker tested positive and I realized this will start a great battle for me. A great battle og longing for my children more. That's the first thing that came up to my mind. My children.
Anxiety attacks again. I got isolated for 6 long days waiting for my result. I cried during the night for not being able to see my children for a long time. In fact it's more than a month already.
It breaks my heart thinking that other people are taking care of my children. I tried calling them on video and I just cried for seeing my little one cry of frustration that he wanted to come to us. I cut it off..
Six days of mental and emotional stress. I think of my kids and fought my feelings. I just think of them to keep fighting what's inside me.
Then the result came out POSITIVE 😭😭😭. I felt weak, not because of the virus. It's because it meant more weeks of not seeing my children. This was the greatest heartbreak in my motherhood.