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Do Not Body Shame Your Children

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Avatar for kat2x
Written by   98
5 months ago

Body shaming is an act of humiliating someone by criticizing it's body shape or size.

In my younger years, never have I thought or taken such action seriously. Most family members mock me for my body shape and size. The worst, your own family members will laugh at you. I just laugh it out, too, thinking it was never a serious matter.

Not until I reached my teenage years. Me and my brother are in the same school. Unintentionally, he took the attitude of teasing me "fat" or calling me "pig" whenever he sees me. Sometimes he's with friends and I'm with my group of friends. Then they all laugh at me. That's the time when I realized it's not a normal way of addressing someone in that manner. Later on, my friends call me the same.

A friend of mine from the other section has a dark complexion and curly hair. Most of his classmates call him "monkey" and watching them making fun of him is heart breaking. He might be laughing at them but deep inside, I believe he's starting to lose his confidence.

As for my case, I'm known to be the "pig" at home but I never eat like a pig. It's my body size that they always laugh about. And as I'm growing I'm starting to feel uneasy with the words they use against me. I started losing my self esteem. There were times I didn't like to go out to socialize fearing new found friends would judge my figure or hear how old friends would address me. I'm afraid the name they used to call me will spread like virus, so I would better just stay home and watch my favorite movie while eating buckets of popcorn.

Food became my outlet, my guilty pleasure. Cooking became my hobby, then I started improving my kitchen skills. While my size doubled, I never cared until bullies cannot be avoided anymore. Then I realized I had to stop eating (which is never the right way to treat the situation). I'm becoming a teenager and I just had to look "not so fat". The process was really hard. Not eating the right amount of food and not on time is never easy. I was in my early teenage that time so that was really an immature decision of mine.

My choices at a young age brought me to some trouble. Most of the time I experience hyper acidity and acid reflux. It was so like hell burning endlessly. Weight loss was rapidly in effect. My face looked so stressed. That's the downside of it.

After achieving this, I was never proud because my name "fat girl", "piggy", "piglet", "pig" seemed engraved in people's brains. They still call me that even if I already looked anorexic.

So, you see it only started within the family as a joke. Never expected its bad effect to my physical, mental and social life. Today my brother call me "jelly fish", "blob fish".. I sometimes feel bad about it but I'm old enough to understand and I just take it as his endearment to me. 😊😊

Some possible bad effects of body shaming:

  • anorexia - due to fear og gaining weight, a person tend to suffer from this mental disorder.

  • physical health problems such as headaches, stomach pains and low energy.

  • social anxiety disorder might occur due to the fear of getting humiliated by others

  • massive weight gain for thin individuals.

  • eating disorders leading to different diseases.

  • depression where most cases nowadays leads to suicide.

My experience is just a simple case compared to others. I was able to handle it maybe because I always look into the bright side of everything. But people handle things differently and this might happen to you or your family. Let's stop body shaming. Start at home. 😉😉

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Avatar for kat2x
Written by   98
5 months ago
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Comments

Just sad that even your brother have to bully you in public. I know teasing is part of sibling's fun, we had that too. But, to do it in public, with classmates and friends around is not good anymore. Our family should be the one supporting and consoling us from all these, i'm sorry sis. Anyway, my advice. Your identity is in Christ and not in other people's opinion. You are beautiful.

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5 months ago

Societal standards and expectations lead me to my introversion. I always get a comment from a person whom I just met, "you're short", " you look like a grade-schooler". They always make fun of my height. I lost confidence, I hate batch reunions, and I hated socializing.

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5 months ago

You know what me and my cousins would joke around about our heights. We are a family circle of petite girls our boys were tall but the girls. We even have aunts who are shorter than us. They are like just around 4'8" or 4'9".. imagine how cute we are 😅

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5 months ago

Really. Well, in my case I'm the only one who's shorter than the usual height of the family on my mother's side so I feel like I'm left out and different. That also became a factor of my insecurity.

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5 months ago

That's true when you are the only one you feel different and insecure.. Especially when they make fun of you

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5 months ago

That's why when there's a gathering, I try to make space of myself to prevent me from being the subject.

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5 months ago

I also lived that experience, in my family they told us that you should always be well groomed and make up, you cannot be fat, you must be perfect, in my teenage years I struggled with my weight and my self-esteem, when I got married I got very I was fat and when I got pregnant I had to diet to only gain 9 kilos because I was already 11 kilos overweight and I am of medium height. Now I'm fine, I feel good because I love and accept myself, I include that to my daughter, her paternal grandfather treats her like they treated women in the 50's and I don't like what he says to him, I tell her that her grandfather is already a very old man and does not know what he says, that she is valuable and beautiful just as she is and that I will always support her.

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5 months ago

That's the best thing you can advise your child.. Appreciate them and teach them to control diet but in a positive approach. I'm not strict with my kids' bodies as long as they eat healthy, move actively, they have no problem... My parents want them to be big and chubby, that's okay but not too much.. But I see to it that his body is still in good condition.. Do Not criticise them.. Tell them properly

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5 months ago

That's right, I have already learned to eat balanced and we exercise to keep the body healthy, nothing strictly, and we are both happy thanks to God.

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5 months ago

Think positive donot do this to your children very informative article amd idea to wrote an article about this ......always and always appreciate your children to get more success and they would get more confident

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5 months ago

Thats why we as parents should always be there to guide them

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5 months ago

Yes right 🙂

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5 months ago

Sad to say, some people use those things to make jokes and fun at you. I mean here in the Philippines if you're different you're noticeable by the judgemental people. In my high school day I am always bulied because of my nose. They said it's like a pig nose, I pretend that I didnt hurt, I laugh at them but deep inside I lost my confidence. But not now. I accept my imperfections na e.

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User's avatar Yen
5 months ago

I always think positive. That those things are the smallest things on earth na di dapat pagtuonan ng pansin. But sometimes it just hit you hard at ang sakit.

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5 months ago

That's way back on my high school days pero ngayon wala na yun hehe. As long as I can breath Im good hehe

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User's avatar Yen
5 months ago

Correct! Hehe.. Ako din I gained too much weight when I got married sinasabihan ako ng sexy sa office (sarcastic).. Sinasabi ko na lang na try din nila mag anak at mastress at pasanin lahat ng problema ko para maranasan nila ang kaseksihan ko.. Haha!

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5 months ago

Sorry you had to experience all that. I'm sure your family just saw it as a joke but outsiders wouldn't see it the same way and will start laughing. Body shaming really messes with self esteem as it makes people think less of themselves or that they're not good enough.

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5 months ago

That's why it should really stop to where it started.

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5 months ago

I'm sorry you had to go through that. And you're friend who was called a monkey, is he black? That's racism, and it's very demoralizing. I used to be bodyshamed a lot in High school, and it made me an antisocial reclusive loner. But I've made some new friends who appreciate me for what I do, not how I look, so after cutting off a lot of people, I'm happy with what I've become.

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5 months ago

That's totally racist. But he's cool he just kept on smiling but for sure deep inside it hurts. I don't know what happened to that guy I never seen him since high school graduation.

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5 months ago

It makes people feel very depressed and worthless, they begin to hate themselves and suicidal thoughts come in. Whether its a joke or not, people should really be careful what they say to other people about their features, whether it's body shaming or racism.

It must have hurt. I pity him, and I understand your blight. You might have gone into panic eating - I've forgotten the real name, but some people experience some compulsive disorders when they are being bodyshamed or attacked like that. Ity's maybe to pacify them, I'm unsure. I'm really feeling bad for you and that guy.

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5 months ago

I'm totally fine now. It does hurt when especially it comes out from your mother's or sibling mouth. There was even a time that I took slimming tea or coffee twice a day.. It got me so hyperactive that if I don't move I will experience palpitations. Sometimes a little food intake will make me throw up.

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5 months ago