Till Now, it's Zero

Hello guys... Good Day to all of you.

I wanna share with you my life as a wife and a mother of two beautiful girls for twenty years. I'm married for long years and a two decades in exact.

I was wondering how life sometimes is unfair if we will count on it. I admit that I usually complaining in which I know that is a big sin to God. Seems like you're not contented in life and no contentment at all. But if you will realize what life's going on, it's very hard and difficult to bear and handle. The only thing that inspires us as a mother is having our children in our side that will really complete our everyday life.

I'm saying it's zero until now because I'm referring to the love that I should receive from the man that I expect one hundred percent love and support but do sad and unfortunately, nothing to be said until today. We're not in a separate ways of our lives, we're together in one roof and in one house every second but you can feel the pain, the bitterness and the coldness of each other.

I might say that I'm also like that to my partner but maybe I'm tired enough to wait for him to spread love, make me feel loved and giving concern too to my regular needs may it be a personal and even such domestic concerns.

If you can feel me this way that after twenty years of marriage, still in a civil manner that we have. Do you think that it is healthy and happy for a family to be like that?

I am sad because it's not for me anyway, it's for my children coz they were affected in many ways. There are times that they are just quiet and looking for a better days to come in. You know, in a couple if you're not that compatible there's always an argument and fight to the most part.

Sometimes I'm thinking and want to prove myself that I can still stand alone without my husband and partner. But the thing is I don't have much resources and money to sustain our needs, the schooling of my children, house maintenance, budget of the family and everything that life needs.

The only way I'm doing now is to sacrifice and wait for the sake of my children. I'm not thinking anymore of myself just to love me in fair but just to be in hand for my children.

I'm doing the best for my children even their father is not doing good anymore. I might say that this man is not that ideal man of a family nor a partner nor a father indeed. Time will only tell how long that I can still wait for his changes and improvement. Wishing him a better life to live in and may God still bless him and more graces from God. I will not wish him any harm because he's still a big part of our family.

Family life is not a joke for the start, we also have to invest love and support to each other fully. Respect everyone, the members of the family and spread love to each other. May these be guided in every thing we do.

Good luck to me and my family for years ahead and onwards.. God bless us all😍😍😍