Article #16 March 20,2022

Hello there, everyone! I'd want to tell you about what I experienced from my aunts and uncles. Both of my parents have siblings, and I can say that they all approach me and my family in different ways. I'm very excited for you to meet my titas and titos today.

We are conscious that some aunts and uncles are harsh to us. We don't know where they got their traits, thus we can't say where they got them. If my mother will ever be mean to my cousins, I will not tolerate it since I would not want to be criticized by my relatives, so why would I tolerate such behavior right?

Aunts are referred to as tita, tiya, tyang, and ante in the Philippines. Our uncles are referred to as tito, tiyo, angkel, and tsong. Those phrases might be used depending on where you are in the Philippines. I name them ante and angkel on my mother's side, and tsong and ante on my father's side.

Some of my Tito's and Tita's features

• As a marites

Their attention is locked on you, waiting for you to fail in life. I'm not sure why they're so interested in your life; it almost feels like they're waiting for you to make poor decisions and fail. Pagkagising palang nila sa umaga, ang almusal nila ay ang usisain ang kanilang mga pamangkin pero di nila mausisa mismong anak nila.

• As a selfish

Have you ever had a situation when your mother urged you to borrow something from your aunt who owns a store, but your aunt refused? Even if you intend to pay it off sooner and only needed it at the time. I have an aunt like that, but when they borrow from us, we always let them and never make them feel resentful. There was also a time when one of my aunts prepared foods by them for their birthday celebration, and I recall how they distributed the food across the neighborhood but did not provide any for us. It isn't a big deal today, but it used to make me sad when we were youngsters. I just don't understand how they can do that and don't feel any remorse. Is that typical?

• As a generous

Of course, we also have relatives who are generous. I had an uncle that sponsored most of his nephews and nieces, especially with school finances. Not entirely me, but my other cousins who were enrolled into college, and thus were disappointed since the majority of them, including my elder sister, did not complete their courses. So when it came time for me to ask for help since I wanted to go to college, they refused to help me, maybe because they expected I would drop out sooner like my cousins. Despite my desire to get support from them, I understand that I am not a good niece in their eyes. Hahaha. I've always thought of myself as a lousy niece due to their impression of me.

Furthermore, that uncle of mine is the one we often approach since he is always eager to help. He's a soldier, so if some thugs try to harm our cousins, they'll be pressured to start behaving when they see my uncle. It always worked out since my uncle is not only a tough guy, but he also knows how to handle conflicts in a pleasant manner.

• As a judgemental

"oy tumaba ka"

"ang taba mo na magdiet ka kaya"

"hindi na nakikita balakang mo"

"dimo gayahin si ganito, pumapayat na"

These are the typical responses I get from some of my aunts and uncles everytime they see me. I'm not quite sure why they feel the need to say that when I already know what body type I have. I am quite aware of myself since I am conscious because eating is my coping mechanism from the stress. They bring it up all the time!

One of the reasons I refuse to attend some family occasions is because of this. But I simply wanted to let you know that we will no longer allow such behavior and will learn to strike in a savage manner. Kapag inoopen up nila yung ganon eh sasabihin ko nalang "buntis kasi ako". Para may ibang topic naman sila kung nagchichismisan. Diba? Hahaha.Ewan ko nalang kung makatulog pa sila kakaisip kung kelan ka manganganak.

• As a sumbungero/sumbungera

These are the uncles and aunts I have. They would always update my mother of my whereabouts. When I was in high school, I was not with my mother, and when my mother knew anything whatsoever about me that I had not yet shared with her, I knew who'd tell her about it.

Do you ever get the feeling that they didn't tell your mother to educate you, but rather to watch how upset she gets at me and how I'm going to fail as a daughter? Their motives aren't really nice, and they're simply being sumbungera lang.

• As a decision maker

There is one instance in particular that I recall to this day. "Eto hindi pa to nakagraduate ng highschool ay tatlo na anak," one of my aunts said. Hahaha. I was 15 years old at the time, and they already foresaw what my future would hold?

Look at me now, a perfectly lovely girl who hasn't had a kid yet and has finished senior high school with honors that their children nevermind. I didn't even realize I'd be 22 next month, but I'm still coming along nicely and earning money on my own, even if it's I am only sitting from the four corners of my small bedroom. Isn't that a satisfying retaliation?

Conclusion

I know some of you will relate to what I've written above, but I simply want to encourage you that you, we, and everyone are fine. Do not overwork yourself out of fear that something is wrong with you because your aunts and uncles are hassling you. Don't let them undermine your subconscious. Just remember that even if you have bad relatives, you also have wonderful relatives, therefore I recommend that you surround yourself with those wonderful ones. Okay? Okay!