Article #10 March 14, 2022

I want you to become a doctor so you can treat my disease.

My Papa has always persuaded me to be a doctor so that I can treat his health. Diabetes was the cause of death for my father. He died in 2014 because his body could no longer bear the pain.

I'm still puzzled as to why the title is The Love of a Father, considering that I rarely witness his love for our family when he's living. You'll find out at the end of this article.For the time being, let me show my wonderful sponsors; you may also read theirs. Please take the time to look into their account.

When my Papa was still alive, he dealt with an alcohol and cigarette addiction. He drank every day, and he even sold all of his harvested veggies to purchase alcohol. What I recall is that he forced us to sell those veggies in our area, and we couldn't say no because he would get angry with us. Dad once commanded that we sell unripe bananas to the neighbors, but my elder sister refused, so he became enraged and hit my sister. It is not hard, but the fact that you may hit your daughter just because she refuses to sell and purchase alcohol for you is. I felt really bad for my sister at the time, but we just disregarded it and like nothing had happened.

My Papa is far from a perfect father figure to us, yet we still treat him nice and adore him. One thing that he said that I still remembered was, " Mali ko nalang lagi niyong nakikita, di niyo man lang nakita yung nagawa kong tama. Sa sampong nagawa ko, siyam don ang tama pero yung isang pagkakamali ko sa sampo padin nakita niyo."

We are deluded by the impression that our father is terrible because of what he does to us, but little did we understand that he is only suffering from his sickness. When he accidentally shot his right foot, he developed symptoms of diabetes. He does have his own gun at the time because our uncle's occupation was repairing firearms and other weapons. He accidentally drops the gun, which lands on his foot and bangs! Since then, the wound on his foot has not recovered. We later discovered that because he had diabetes, it is difficult for him to heal a wound. My papa is in too much agony, and the only thing that would make him feel better is to drink at least one bottle of alcohol. Since then, he has been unable to work and has been isolated to our home.

My mother is the one who supported our needs. My Papa started planting veggies, and we assumed it was to help my Mama, but he merely let us sell them so he could purchase alcohol every day. I recall how difficult it was for my Mama at the time; she was always outside working and earning money to put food on our tables.

I'm not attacking my Papa; I'm just letting you know when someone is unwell or has a condition, he or she will be obstinate and will try anything to lessen their misery. Now that I understand my Papa, I am no longer angry with him for hurting us, especially my mother.

Now I'd like to tell you about a positive side of him when he's still healthy. His work include finding a client to harvest mangoes or any other plants or fruits. It's like though he's the go-between for the buyer and the owner of a certain fruit. Every time he has a client and receives a commission, he always buys us tasty dishes and gives us money to spend in the store..

The birthday of mine that i celebrated with a lot of food is when i am 7 years old. My papa rented a videoke and there are so much of food. There is just a time that I have a handa on my birthday. He is make me go with him when there is a family gatherings to his side. There is also a time that my mama at papa got separated and we decided to go to my mother's side parents and live there. My papa persuaded my mama to go home with us, my papa always go to my grandparents and they decided to be back. But the thing is, me and my sister are already enrolled in that place so they left us there to finish the school year and go back to our hometown after.

We are not rich back then but we are so happy. I remember my father that always joking about our food. When we are eating he always rising his voice and tell us to get the friend chicken or lechon in the table well in fact our ulam is just noodles and tuyo. Hahaha. Those moments made me smile when I am reminiscing those moments.

Whatever my father's mistake to us, I will still choose him as my father. He may not be perfect but I know that he loves us very much. he just acted like that because of the pain that he is holding. I know he is in the better place now. Did you know that he stayed only 5 days in the hospital and suggested that he may go and get well in our home.

The night he died, it was still clear in my memory. It was 8 p.m. when I got home from my part-time job as a vendor. Because it was a fiesta in our town at the time, I had to work as a part-timer to earn some money. I called up my mother because I noticed my father is in pain. My mother went to our Papa's bedside and asked as to what was wrong. He still seems to be in pain, and my mother told my father, "Hingi ka na ng tawad sa Panginoon, kung hindi mo na kaya, isurrender mo na ang sarili mo Sakanya. Patawarin mo na yung mga nakagawa ng kasalanan sayo." My Papa's response is simply a nod. He can't speak, but my Mama knows he wants to tell her that he has already made that decision and is ready to surrender his life to the Lord. My mother noticed that my Papa wasn't moving after a few minutes. We confirmed that he died at 8:24 p.m. on May 23.

We are shocked since we are not yet prepared to lose him at that moment. We didn't sleep that night and didn't sleep again till the next day. I'm still in anguish since I didn't get the chance to tell him how much I adore him. But I know he's with the Lord now.

This was my father when he was drunkard. Haha. You can see it on his eyes. In the back you also see his vegetables. This is the only picture of him that we have since we don't have phone to use that time.

Closing Thought

I recommend that you tell your mum and father how much you love them till everything is over. Regret is always at the end, and there is nothing we can do about it. My Papa's love will always be the sweetest for me. So now I constantly show my mother how much I love her and make her happy. She deserves all the love in the world, even though she is becoming childish. Hayst. Hahaha.

I hope you enjoy my blog today. Thank you for the time. Chao!