Article #33 April 3, 2022

My friend just married. I just wanted to express how I felt about her wedding. I am really delighted for her since she has met the one who will be with her for the rest of her life. They'd been together for a long time, if I'm not inaccurate, for 6 years, and now they're marrying to make new memories as husband and wife. I am overjoyed for her since I am also hoping for a wedding. Every woman's dream, I believe, is to marry the man she loves the most.

What disappoints me is that I am not invited. I'm also unaware that her wedding date is April 2. I first found out about it after I saw one of my friends' stories on Facebook about her being an Abay, I assume. I'm in a great deal of pain right now since she didn't tell me about it. I'm not furious at her or anything; I simply felt a hurt in my chest knowing that some of my friends were present and I was unaware of it.

When my friend who was an abay asked whether she informed me about her wedding, her answer was no, and my response was, "Is she hesitant to tell me about her wedding? Since there is nothing wrong to be embarrassed of, and in fact I envy her because it is my dream." I've been saddened up until now, which is why I decided to write in order to alleviate my chest agony.

Is it okay for me to have these feelings? Is it possible that I'm exaggerating? I am overjoyed for her and congratulated her as soon as I heard about the wedding. There has been no response as of yet, maybe because she is sleeping. I hope her husband treats her more than she deserves because my friend is such a wonderful and modest young lady.

I'll elaborate why she might not have invited me. Probably because she was too hesitant to share it with anybody, only those close to her were told and invited, and tragically, I am not one of them. Another factor is that our last conversation was at least a year ago. It's not because I don't want to talk to anybody before; in fact, I stopped communicating with my friends a few years ago. When the outbreak began, I was suffering from anxiety; I'm not sure if it was anxiety or anything else, but I detoxed from my friends and the online world, and my only friend at the time was myself. Maybe she thought I didn't want to be friends with her anymore.

One of the things that bothers me right now is that I'm wondering whether I'm not worth becoming friends with. I'm not sure if I'm courteous to them or callous. I'm in tremendous agony right now, and I'm not lying or exaggerating.

Back in high school, I told her that we should all be invited to their wedding because they were dating at the time. We were simply kidding about it before, but when it happened, I was no longer invited. Isn't it a bittersweet twist at the end? Tara shot puno! Hahaha.

Grabe talaga. Hindi ko matanggap bakit di ako nainform. Hindi ko matanong baka lalo naman ako masaktan kapag sinabing bakit need ko umattend parang ganon. Ang sakit sa loob ko, special day niya kasi yon eh. Gusto ko din naman nandon ako or nainform ako kasi sabihin na nating di ako ang bestfriend, di din ako close friend pero friend pa din ako. Nakakaiyak! Ito na yata first heartbreak ko ngayong taon.

Closing Thoughts

Thank you for taking the time to read my quick rants for the hour. I'm really heartbroken by what I found. I hope everything is going well for you.

Update: Her response to my message in which I congratulated her and asked why she did not invite me was that she is too shy to inform people about her wedding. I appreciate and support her decision not to notify others. I'm still sad about it, but it's all better today than it was yesterday.

Please refrain from making disparaging remarks about her, since she is still a friend of mine. I only keep my anguish on my chest and share it with you. I have no plans to let you criticize her. This is a congratulatory article with a few rants thrown in for good measure. Hihi. Blessings to each and every one of you.