Tired of Facing the Same Problems

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Written by

joow

Hello I am julsijuls ~ nice to see you here!

2 years ago

In community: Just Write(e5e5)

Topics: Choices, Self-Growth, Open For All, Diary, Personal Growth, ...

There was a day when I was sitting down, staring at my ceiling, when some things came to my mind. That day, I realized that I am not a good student. Well, at least not as good as people thought of me. I realized that when I cook, i eat too much. I sneak too much food into my mouth, like a raccoon stealing food. And when I cook and study or do anything, i always hold my phone. My phone is always on my hand and ready to distract me. It's like I won't make a day without my phone. And then, when I'm finally holding onto my chest because of how shocked i am of the realizations, one more thing came to mind. I am too big.

I have problems in different aspects of my life. And they aren't just light ones, they seem light but these are the things that if not stopped, they could ruin a future. These must be fixed.

SOLUTION FOR THE ACADEMIC PROBLEM

Studying is a fun thing for me to do. Although I get lazy often, I still find it fun whenever I get into it. Studying makes me feel like I can do good things as a student. When i open my modules and read, I imagine that i am in a library learning alongside students who are topping their classes, who have medals and certificates on their walls. I imagine I am one of the gifted people in the field of academics because it makes me want to study more so that I can keep my imaginary rank at the top.

And another reason I do this is because I know for a fact that I am doing badly, that I am not being a good student. I am lazy at times and I hate participating in extracurricular activities. i don't like group tasks and I sometimes pass my works with answers that do not make sense. And so, to stop being a bad student, I made up an imaginary version of myself, an imaginary scene where i am some kind of a scholar, maybe in Harvard. So far it helps. Fake it until you make it.

SOLUTION FOR EATING PROBLEM

I think it no longer has to be mentioned that i love to eat. Why else would i sneak food into my mouth while prepping a meal for the family? There are times that i stop because I listen to the voice that tells me to stop. But sometimes--most of the time-- I ignore it. Sometimes I don't hear anything, like the voice has gotten tired of reminding me of what to do. But I know that the voice hasn't gone away. it's still there, it's just that the laughter of the selfishness has gotten louder.

I actually haven't thought of a solution for this one. But I have a few ideas in mind. One that would make use of my competitiveness. You see, I perform well when there's ranking involved; I perform well because I don't wanna be put last, I always want to be one of the best. And so, I have this plan that I am going to make a competition for myself. Between the side of me who has self-control, and the side of me who only thinks of eating.

In this said competition, of course, i will have to play the role of the side of me who has self-control. That side of me has to win. If it loses, then there should be a consequence. Something that I would not want to happen, preferably something I despise. And the consequence is? I don't know yet. I should think of something that i will do, and not cheat and skip it if I lose.

Aside from that trick to myself, I have nothing else yet. I have to think of a plan B just in case the original plan won't work.

SOLUTION FOR THE CELLPHONE PROBLEM

Do I really have a solution for this one? Of course I have. But will I be able to actually follow my own rules this time? When i set an alarm or a timer for the phone to remain untouched, will I get to finish the time? Or if I tell myself not to go online, will I be patient enough? Am I not gonna think of excuses, of sudden things to do online just to go there again?

These questions to myself, it sounds like I am speaking to someone who is addicted to their gadget. Maybe it doesn't just sound like it. Maybe I already am addicted to my phone. Such a pity, 22 and already a prisoner of her phone.

I do not need my phone controlling my life, I need myself to be the one to control this gadget. I need to be the one in control of the things around me. But how?

Simple. I just have to be strict with myself.

When there is a timer that is meant for my phone and my eyes to rest, then I should strictly follow it. I should look for something else to, something important and something that would make my time worth it and not wasted.

When i hold my phone, I should make sure to finish everything important first before leisure. This way, I will no longer be able to bring up n excuse to have a peek in facebook. And that peek would turn into one video, two videos, until I already forget that i should be away the internet.

Self control, patience, and knowing what your priority is will be the answer to this problem of mine.

SOLUTION FOR MY WEIGHT PROBLEM

I got fat because I am often bored. When I am bored, I entertain myself by eating. I eat and eat and eat until i have two rolls of fat on my tummy. Until my pants no longer fit me, until all my shirts are 3 times bigger than my previous ones.

I got so big to the point that i will feel shy if people see me eat outside, i get shy when people look at me, I get shy embarrassed when I sit and my shirt cannot hide my fats. And I am tired of being fat, I am tired of being shy.

I need to start helping myself. I need to save my own life because I could die young if I get any bigger. I cannot die young.. The solution? keep myself occupied, I should fight the urge to eat, and of course exercise.

My knees are weak, my shoulders and elbows do clicking noise when I move around in ways that i don't usually do. But that is not an excuse for me to not exercise.

And so, instead of the regular exercise that people do--the kind where they do push ups and crunshes and leg lifting--I will just do a 30 minute indoor walk. I have tried this before, and it helped me. But this time, I must not be discouraged of the slow progress. I should put in my head that slow progress is still progress. i should be happy, i should be thankful.

CONCLUSION

I have problems in different aspects of my life. But these have solutions, if they don't have then these aren't problems. All I have to do, all that everyone who has problems must do, is to work on it patiently. Trust the process, have self control, and learn to discipline yourself. And everything will work well.