Joined 30 January 2022 · 64 posts
Hello I am julsijuls ~ nice to see you here!
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@joow
The only reason I am back here at Read Cash is because I stumbled on my browser's bookmarks while I was cleaning. And it seems 3 months have passed since my last article here. And since three months have already passed, I already have a bunch to share here! I had exams, I attended programs and activities and other things! I also have pictures so wait for my post soon. Let's hope I won't go lazy again. Hehe.
@joow
I have a few more minutes before October ends. Later, November will start and I'll have new things to write down—plans for the month, changes I want to do, books to finally read, and shows to catch up on. And I wonder, how many of those things will I be able to do? When November comes, will I finally have the backbone to do all my plans? Or am I going to stay as a piece of wood floating in the sea and just waiting for the waves to take me wherever? The year is about to end and I couldn't see any changes in me. It's making me sad and frustrated. But what else I can do? I'm the one who should move. No one else will do these things for me but me. But the question is how? Haha. This is so hard.
@joow
Today, despite still not feeling confident with my writing, I decided to come back. My mind urges me to write something. It doesn't have to be flawless or something that would grant me an award. I just have to write, and express, and then share it to the world. It's a little nerve-wracking, to be honest. But how else can I see if I improved or not if I don't write anything, right?
@joow
I am alive. College life is way too hard for someone like me who just likes to sleep when faced with struggles. I need to adjust my lifestyle, especially now that I only have a year left before I graduate!
@joow
To make life more livelier. It is still raining, and it hasn't stopped since earlier this afternoon. The air has turned cold, and the frogs are singing beside and behind our house. So, I made myself a cup of hot chocolate to warm up a little in this weather. I know the photo shows a cup of tea, but I couldn't find a picture of hot chocolate. :P As I was sipping on my drink, I realized something: I've always been on my phone but haven't done anything productive. I think I'm one of those people who have internet addiction, and it's not a good thing. I've spent six months here, but there has been no progress or development in my character whatsoever. Maybe I've learned new internet slang, kept up with the latest music and TikTok trends, and even adapted my favorite author's writing style. But that's about it. It's not something significant or grand that I can be proud of. So, I messaged one of my internet friends and mentioned that I will be taking a break from the internet. She was very supportive and suggested taking at least a week off to do something else. She recommended reading a book and starting journaling again. I thought to myself, why not? It's been a while since I held an actual physical book. Perhaps it's time to put down my tablet and phone, pick up a book, and spend the whole day reading. And so, I did just that. Earlier, I cleaned my room and then picked up the book I borrowed from my sister's friend. It's been with me for two months now, and I hadn't started reading it until just an hour ago. It's about traders, assassins, and a man who ventured to another country to earn money. It's quite interesting, although a little challenging to read because it's narrated in a style that feels like you're in 1799. If I had read this book back when I was in 10th grade, I wouldn't have had any trouble reading it straight through. But because I've been on my phone all the time, my vocabulary has deteriorated, and now I have to read and reread to rebuild my vocabulary. And so, here begins my dream to read a lot of books and expand my vocabulary. I want it to be so extensive that I have no trouble with big or long words, and I can read faster. From now on, I will see myself as a cat. Out of nine lives, I've already spent one, leaving me with eight. And i will make sure to use those remaining lives wisely. I will not be like puss in boots. ( Actually, I added that cat thing at the end of my post because I saved this cat picture from Pinterest and wanted to include it. Hahaha! I just couldn't think of a way to incorporate it, but there you go! ) ps. All images are from pinterest!
@joow
Ah. My plan of sitting under a tree didn't happen because it rained and also because I'm running a bit of a fever. To be honest I'm not expecting this fever because I had vitamins yesterday. Maybe I took it too late and the fever was already on the way. Well anyway, let's pray for a better day tomorrow. I don't want to be locked in my room for the weekends 😪
@joow
I just posted my first article for the month, I'm very happy about it! I'm hoping that I'll be consistent with the posting. Anyways, good morning to the people who are in the same timezone as me! We're finally in July!
@joow
July 1st For this day, I have a simple dream. And that is to start my first day of the month doing something different or out of my routine. Usually when I wake up, the first thing that I do is to check my phone notifications. Today I did that, but I immediately let go of my phone, and then went to the bathroom to relieve my bladder, then went in front of our house to stare at the sky. Last night it rained, and the whole day yesterday was very gloomy. Today the sky is blue and there are very little clouds in the sky. My dream today is to get out of my cave, aka my room, and spend at least an hour outside sitting under our mulberry tree while staring at the sky and imagine that i am in the beach. The picture shows what our sky look like today. Bright and blue and very calming. Who would not want to get out of their house, sit under a tree, and then just look at the sky to calm down their nerves? Yes that is my dream to do it is quite simple and not very grand. And to be honest i love it. :) And i will not try to very long article for the meantime, i'll just post this so i could share with you what i want to happen for my day. What about you, what are your plans for the 1st of july?
@joow
I haven't been to read cash for almost a year now, and I don't know what happened while I was away but when I got back, the communities I used to join is no longer present. So, I'm back to finding communities where I can join. This is the second one I found that would seem to fit me in! I hope to write an article here soon. It might mostly revolve around my experience with my phone hehe.
@joow
Hello! I just joined this community and i see that people are active here. I'll be sharing a small article later regarding my fay yesterday. Hehe. We were out to celebrate my friend's birthday and i had quite the realizations. So, see you later!
@joow
Good morning read cash community! I'll be heading to school today to work in the marketing office, and also gather inspiration for the posts I'll start sharing here again. The world outsider my room sure has more to offer than my little box of comfort. See you later!
@joow
It's been so long since i last visited this site, wow. I missed writing here! If only i wasn't so busy doing nonsense during my work breaks, then maybe i wouldn't be away for too long. But i guess it's time to be back!
@joow
Look Up! The Sun is There, So Smile! I wonder if the sun has eyes and if it can watch us and our everyday lives. Does it know that when the world turns, the other side won't have light and will have to sleep in the dark? Does the sun know how the plants thrive because of its light? I hope the sun knows how much help it could give to people. The laundry dries fast, the flood and puddles disappear, the winter becomes bearable, and shadows play on the ground. Without the sun, there won't be the moon that shines at night. The world, without this ball of fire, will be nothing but black and eyes that couldn't see. The plants won't exist, and if they do will they be green? Would we know what shadows are, what warmth is, what light is? Without the sun, I'll probably just sleep the whole day, shivering under my blankets as the coldness reigns outside. Forever it will be winter, no hot days to cure the ache in our joints when the cold has seeped to our body. Forever, we won't know what it's like to feel alive because living means warmth and lack of it is death. The whole world will probably change without the sun. Would it still be called earth without its trusty partner to keep it alive? Would there be us in this world or would this place turn into a rock with nothing else in it? But, I do not want to think of all these saddening things. Because we have the sun, shining up in the sky. Though we're not sure if it has eyes, if it watches live everyday—but we know it keeps us alive. The sun is there and we are not alone when we walk in the park. No one is beside us, but there's a figure on the ground doing whatever that we do. We have a shadow to accompany us and also to let us know that the sun is right behind us when we walk back home. The sun is there and I have dry clothes to wear morning, noon, and night. The sun is there and I can have vegetables to eat, plants to water, puddles to watch dry up. The sun is there, in the space outside this earth, turning, free, and ever present. Hello read cash community! I am finally back after months of disappearing. I lost my motivation to write long blogs during that time, I felt like if I wrote something, it would just turn out bad. So I think I absentmindedly made myself not write anything at all. But that's meh. Motivation wouldn't come out of nowhere, we should move so something would come! And that's what I did today. Thank you for reading this piece I made, I hope you found this good! Image links https://pin.it/4xkmTWc https://pin.it/3BDwAXY https://pin.it/12GmH5C https://pin.it/3pQHyCP https://pin.it/57P5BTg
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@joow
the little things for big smiles ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ I want to take myself out on a date. Buy flowers to decorate my home; a vase in the kitchen, I'll place it on the counter where I cook. Another vase in the living room, by the window where I always take a seat. And the last one in my room, by my bedside table, so it's going to be flowers which I will see in the morning. I want to buy myself flowers because no one buys it for me. I could plant plenty in my backyard, but I don't want to wait for a long time before I get to cut pretty stems. Oh wait, I can plant flowers and then buy fresh ones while I wait for them to bloom! That would be beautiful! Imagine my house full of flowers that sadness will no longer have the space to fit into. Ah yes, I'd like a house full of flowers. Because flowers make everything so much better! And I would also want to buy myself plenty of vinyls, the old ones. The ones that only a very small number of people in my generation knows about. If I can't physically travel through time, then I'll just use CDs, I'll listen to them on repeat until I'll feel the air change, until I can fool myself into thinking I'm in a different time and space. I may not have a man to dance with me, to hold my hand or waist and sway me to the music, but I'll have myself. I can dance on my own; at day, noon, and night I shall dance! Dance til my feet hurt, til I i feel dizzy spinning in my living room. And then I'll buy myself food after all the dancing. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant— a cake will do! I'll pick the one with so many strawberries and overflowing syrup. The one that would taste so sweet that it could make my blood sticky with sugar. And when I'll buy a cake, I will make sure that it's not going to be the small one. I'm going to get a big cake for myself! I'll get myself something as big as a birthday cake so I can be happy all throughout the day. And no one will stop me. My mom cannot stop me, because she doesn't live with me anymore. My dad cannot stop me because he lives with my mom, and they take care of cows and sheep. And a friend or a lover won't tell me to just take a smaller one, because I have neither a friend or a lover. I will do so many things that I love, things that make me feel loved and things that make me feel alive and thriving in my own skin and house. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ****This is only a work of fiction!**** *Hello! I didn't get to post for almost a week. It's because I felt a little drained, and when I'm drained I procrastinate and think that my writing skills are bad and dumb. When I am drained I think that my works don't deserve to see the light of the day and so I don't write. It's kind of silly, but it's what I feel.* *Today I feel the same, but I still pushed myself to write. And this is about the simple things I want to do to make myself happy. It's fiction because I can't do those things in my current situation. But hopefully, I'll be able to do them someday!* *ps. Does my writing suck?* ****Images are from Pinterest****ㅤㅤㅤ
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@joow
I'd choose to live with the burden of you ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ My brain is empty; my mind is blank. I am seeing things, the trees outside and the sun in the sky—i can even feel the warmth of the sunlight—but my mind remains blank. During normal days, if i see a flower it would remind me of something. It could be childhood days, or my friends putting petals in our made up soup, or just simply a garden in our school. But this day is different. I see a tree and i just see it as a tree. I see green leaves, the bark of the tree, the grass beneath it, but just that. Usually, a tree would remind me of windy afternoons. And when i think of windy afternoons and trees, the thought of you would eventually follow. But now it does not happen. Have i lost my ability to imagine good things? Or maybe today, I have finally forgotten about you and your whole existence? Forgetting about you and the pain sounds very okay to me. But forgetting about you also means forgetting about good memories. It also means i will lose my ability to give meaning to things. Losing you meant losing meaning in whatever life i have. Do i take this risk? Do i just let myself look at my hand and just see it as a part of my body? Am i going to let myself no longer see my hand as something that would want to hold someone else's hand—someone who i am in love with? Do i let myself look at a path and just see it as a pathway? Am i going to deprive myself of joy to imagine a path i'll go and walk with someone i will grow old with? Am i willing to deprive myself of joy and a chance to be okay once again in exchange of forgetting about you? Or do i just embrace every bit of memories of you, and go on with my life? I think that is better, and i am not dumb enough to risk living my life to the fullest in exchange of getting rid of you. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ****This is only a work of fiction!**** *I have noticed that the articles i am making these days, always involve nature. It always involves the trees, to be specific.* *To be honest, i do not have a very concrete idea as to why i am always involving trees.* *Well Maybe it has something to do with their long lives, and years, and stories that they could share if only they have mouths. But since they cannot speak, maybe my brain then suggested that i speak for them. You know share the stories that they may have witnessed in their long lives.* *And in this certain article, i am telling a story about a girl who is kind of in a dilemma. Whether to go on with her life with a bad memory or just keep going with it.* *I hope that i am making sense! Hehehe. I enjoyed making this article, I hope you liked it too!* ****Photos used are from Pinterest****ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
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@joow
trees welcome me home with a song of birds and wind. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Maybe I am just overly sensitive, getting jealous too quick and running away. But, I also think I might not really belong to the world where people live. I still live here on earth, of course, but I won't be in the huge places where humans meet and grow communities. I say this because I never felt like I belonged, I felt as if maybe it was solitude that's meant for me. But even at that I am wrong. No one can live alone. No one can survive the heat of the sun by their self, no one can live with the cold, no one can live with sadness always clinging at your ankle wherever you go. No. I don't think solitude is for me. I believe I'm meant to live somewhere far away, in the forests where trees will welcome me home. They may not speak the language I grew up learning, but they have this energy which speaks a million words—they make more sense to me than what the human tongue could produce. I cannot explain what it is. But it's as if they're saying, "welcome home." But instead of a feminine voice, or a muscular one, the trees sound like birds and leaves and the wind having fun together. Joy overflowing the place because I'm finally here, and they will embrace me as their very own. And I prefer this over anything else. I hear the welcome and the love and belongingness. What else can I ask, right? Here will I stay. Beneath their shades when the sun is too hot, inside tree trunks when the snow falls, and even visit the hills they befriended when the ice piles up too high. I cannot live alone. But the forest is a family to me, they sing to me and give me a home to stay. Birds fly atop of my head, deers peek at me, curious about my presence but welcome me too nonetheless. And I also have the dead leaves crunch under my feet, I've always dreamt of this when I was younger. This is home, and love, and solace. There's nothing more I could ever ask for. This is the dream and the life for me. **This is only a work of fiction!** *Hello, for the second time I have written an article that is related to nature! In the first article I made related to nature, it talked about having a vacation in the country side. But in this article, the character will finally live in the forest.* *This is about finding home in the place where no one else would expect you to go. It's about running away and not coming back because you finally found peace. Even if it's unusual, as others deem.* *I had fun making this one, I hope you enjoyed reading this!* ****Images used are from Pinterest.****ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
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@joow
the life I grew to have, is what I wish to lose ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Why is it that everyday i open my eyes in the morning, i wish i died in my sleep. I wish the blankets weren't there, so i could freeze to death. Or if i don't freeze to death, at least I wish that the sheets would strangle me to death. I don't want to live, and I don't want to die. Or maybe I don't want feel human anymore for it causes too much problems. I used to be so happy in the mornings. So happy I got to wake up again, so happy that I see the sun again. I used to be so excited about how my day's going to be; what meals I'll eat and what new things I'll encounter. But now, I wish the night was extremely long so I won't have to see brightness ever again. They say that i am acting strange, but i think that life has just faded away. But it's not like i have a choice, i wake up and i am still alive, and so i'll have to do what the living people do. They prepare for the day they do not want to face, or enjoy the day that they are about to face. I clean myself and prepare my meal. I eat and look in the mirror and I look like the walking dead. Sunken eyes, pale skin, bloody lips. I don't look alive, neither do I look dead. I just look like life and death got tired tossing me around. But it doesn't really matter when I'll just stay at home and let myself rot on the couch. Nothing really matters when I'll just drown myself in memories of the past. And then I'll chug all the caffeinated beverages I'll find—tea, coffee, whatever I find. I'll stay up whole morning until night comes. I'll stare at the sky at night and wish I could grab a star and talk to it. I'll fight the star and ask why it made me look like a stupid kid. It made me believe it will grant my wishes. I'll fight that damned star even if I knew it wasn't really at fault. But, after the fight, I'll wish one more time. I wish it would take my life away for I no longer want to exist. But if it can't kill me, at least take me with it to the night sky. Make me beautiful and burning and hopeful, and there I'll slowly die. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ This is only a work of fiction! Hello! This article does not reflect my current feelings. I simply made a prose with the use of the images I got from Pinterest as my prompt. This is about someone already losing hope, but deep inside, a little seedling of hope still exists. It wasn't that easy to write this because I want to describe more emotions. But I think I'll have to practice some more. I enjoyed making this though, so i think it's good! Thank you for reading this, and see you again soon in my future article.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ #may2022 ㅤ
@joow
to nature we run, away from the city chaos! ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ *And in the arms of mother nature, we will find the rest we crave for.* ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ The city drains me so much. Smoke lingers in the air, cars keeps on blowing horns, pedestrians yelling at each other— everything is too much! I feel like my whole life will crash, and leave me under the rubble of problems. But the wind blew, and I heard the voice of nature. It calls for me, and for everyone else worn tired by the city. The wind blows a little harder and life came back to me, and to everyone else who was deserving to hear the call of green grass and fresh air. Us who needs a little breather. I didn't waste time wondering if I should abide to the call or not— I immediately went home, the door muffling the traffic behind me. I packed my bags with shirts and papers. Shirts to sweat on with the running I will do. Papers to draw the mountains and rivers and sky. I would like to write down my whole adventure too. Even if all this fun would only last a short while. I will describe in full detail how the air smelled of rain all the time, of soil and freshly cut grass. I will draw the nature, and everything else that makes me happy. So when I return to the city, I'll have my imagination bring me back to the love away from smoke and noise. Not only will I draw and write and run. I will also reach for the trees, the fruits and the branches. I might also sleep above an old big tree, so I can see the stars at night and the rising sun in the morning. I will reach out my hand, hoping that a butterfly will rest on the tip of my fingers. I will reach up to the sky and hope I'll graze the clouds. I wish to feel life with my own hands! I wish to do all of that. Maybe I'll stay in the country side for only 3 days, enough time for my lungs to be happy and my ears to rest from the noise. Instead of smoke, I'll breathe in fresh air. Instead of horns and traffic and yelling, I'll listen to the birds and the rustling of leaves. Instead of the chaos, I'll finally have peace. Even if it's just for a while. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ***This is only a work of fiction, but the prose is my original creation!*** Hello people! I posted another article— I'm so happy that i didn't get lazy today! Aaah, this is an improvement ~ Anyway, this article is about a city girl who is tired of city life. And so of course she decided to have a break and visit the country side, where peace and adventure awaits. Did you like it? I hope you did because I surely did enjoy writing this! #may2022 ****Images from**** https://pin.it/7cnaaL2 https://pin.it/4DQXMDm https://pin.it/7xIHLhD https://pin.it/6ph9mCV Lead Image https://pin.it/5HpO6If
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@joow
in the sea of strangers, do I exist? *When the ocean feels a drop, does it know that it's me and I might be drowning? Or does it think it's another boat just loving the waves and the wind?* ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ I was told not to talk to strangers, because in the sea of them, I wouldn't know who are the good ones and who are the bad ones. I wouldn't know who a friend is, and who would be someone who could plunge a knife into my flesh. And even if you try hard enough to distinguish them from each other, you'll find it too hard. They walk so fast, their face contorted for different reasons—as if they are wearing a mask. It's hard, they all look faceless to me sometimes as well. These strangers, are they scared of strangers too? Or are they aware of their role in my life? I wonder if they know of my existence. I think they are. I think they're not. It will be very hard to miss me, a girl who stands still in the middle of the sidewalk. I'm probably special though for I am not taken away by the waves. I just stand there, stubborn with eyes squinted, taking in whatever features I could take from random people's faces. This lady walking past my left has a red lipstick, and it wasn't put on well. This man's tie on my right is neat, his suitcase looks heavy in his hand. The kid who sits in the restaurant across the street loves a lollipop, loves it too much that he won't listen to his mother. One moment I saw them turn their head towards my way. I looked into their eyes and didn't see my reflection. In their eyes, it's just a busy sea of unknown people, and the current keeps flowing. In their eyes, at least in the reflection I see, no girl stands still in the crowd. Nothing special, nothing still. This made me wonder, deeply and painfully. Is my life too small and unnoticeable? Am I invisible? When I enter a room full of people, no one would bat an eye at my direction. No one tries to examine me; what kind of shoes do I wear? Are there stains on my shirt? Is my hair pretty? Does my phone look chick? I'm pretty much sure none of those questions, or anything similar to those, pop up in their heads. I'm sure I'm like a ghost, but I am solid and alive and warm. But like a ghost, no one knows I'm here unless I try to give their heart a little scare. And I think it's alright, it's fun. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ *****This is a work of fiction; my original prose!***** *This is my second article here this month. This is about feeling small and as if you're nothing in world with billion other people. It's a strange feeling, making you think you weigh nothing. But it also makes you feel so heavy, like you could bury yourself underground.* #may2022 ****Images from**** https://pin.it/F3HcdlV https://pin.it/2vAaWRY https://pin.it/496a6vD Lead image: https://pin.it/79Pyud0 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
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@joow
In your pot you'll grow, so will I. *A cup of warm coffee.* *Fresh flowers in my vase every morning.* *Burnt pancakes with eggshells, but I eat them anyway.* ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ I miss the simplicity of things with you, in us, and in everything that we have. We are not perfect but we make things work; like when the day is grey, we make sure that it will turn golden. Our problems don't seem as big because we always joke about them. I remember that one time the toilet was clogged, and you joked that maybe this is our time to try pooping in the forest. Like some kind of camping. And we actually did it! We waited for the handyman to come the next day and we didn't welcome him with a grumpy face. I also remember that time when I got lost in a city— we were supposed to be tourists, following a guide and always should be with the group. But I saw a squirrel, followed it and watched it eat acorns. I didn't know the group was already so far away. When you finally found me, crying on a bench, you said that's okay because I had my own adventure. Being with you was so easy. You find solutions to my problems, you make me smile when a frown is on my face, you make me feel better when a storm starts to form inside my mind. In mornings, even if you don't know how to cook, you try your best to cook me pancakes because you know I like those. You make me coffee and give me flowers fresh from the fields. I miss everything with you, I miss you, and I wonder how are you? We parted ways a year ago, because you said you're not growing when with me. You water me and forget to water yourself. And sadly, even if you don't tell me, I know that I wasn't able to make you grow along with me. It was sad. But I believe it's for the best. To part ways and grow in our own separate pots. I'll miss the simplicity of the past. But I would also want to see you bloom and be happy and have your own simple life you will enjoy. Hopefully, when I get better at being a lover and a partner and a friend— I hope we get together again. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ***This is only a work of fiction!*** Hello people, I am finally back! Hehe, I am glad that this time I actually fought my fear of doing something lame and actually posted something after a month! So glad to be back and I hope that I'll stay here longer and more consistent this time!
@joow
After almost a month of not posting here, I am finally back! I still am not sure if I should continue posting the usual stuff I did before, or if I should start a different style. Well either way is good for me and I just can't wait to write again! Writing is my escape from reality and I'm pretty sure that I will feel better here soon. Hehehe. I'm glad to be back!
@joow
this hill knows what i deserve *short prose* i didn't want to tell my friends that i hear whispers everytime i pass by this hill. i don't want them to think that i am crazy, or that i overanalyze the howling of the wind. but the wind does not speak, it only sounds like it's in pain or sometimes it sounds like a hum. but the wind cannot tell you to keep going and climb on top of that hill. The wind can ruffle your hair and ruin the flowers you bring, but it cannot move your legs to climb one step at a time. i know i am not crazy, i know it's not the wind and it is definitely just not my head. something is up there that i should get. but you people, you who call yourselves my friends, why won't you let me go up? do you not want me to succeed or live or survive? do you wish me to die along with you and so you say i am out of my mind when i want to get out of this miserable life? i say let go of me, i say let me be. let me be crazy if you want to, but i'll climb that hill and i will not perish here. not anymore. a rotten limb as an arm is enough, i need not to be helpless. i do not wish to be like you. and so listen to what i say. let go of me for i have a life to live. ****author's note:**** oh i hate myself sometimes, hahah! i've been struggling about what to post here, i was scared to type stuff beccause those might not make sense at all. but i forgot that my creativity stems from nonsense drabbles into something beautiful to me. and just a while ago, i wrote a drabble and now i am done making my article for the today. it's funny that i'm still not used to this process of mine hahah! i shouldn't be scared next time. i should just keep going. ****IMAGE SOURCES**** windy https://pin.it/4oBmkJT lead image https://pin.it/1uqu1tI
@joow
For this afternoon, what will I do? The afternoon is a little strange today, the sky is a golden yellow but the clouds are grey. According to the news there is a storm in the philippines, maybe that's why the clouds are gloomy. But it makes me wonder why the sun is out there and why the whole afternoon is golden. But i guess that's okay because the cold wind lessened the heat of the summer. What should i be doing then? I already finished reading Crooked Kingdom, paused watching from one piece, and now i just finished downloading a few more books to read. But even if there's new ebooks in my library, i still am not in the mood to read anything. Maybe i should watch youtube? Stuff like how to be productive or short stories on ted-ed, or watch korean medical students preparing for an exam? Sigh, this summer vacation of mine is supposed to be eventful, but why am i feeling bored? Before the evening comes, i should be able to think of something to do. Well i already washed my sheets, but my room is still a bit of a mess. Oh maybe that's what i should do! Clean my room and make a to-do list after. I noticed that my train of thoughts are not very well if my surrounding is messy. A messy place makes my brain messy too, makes my head all jumbled up. So yeah, cleaning and a to-do list it is! oh and i suddenly remember that i should also take advantage of this vacation to practice my essay writing! I'm thinking if i should post my essays here at read cash, but i am also a little shy because i think my essays aren't very formal enough. but i think that's also all right since the objective of practicing is to improve my writing. All i have to do right now is to gather courage to post stuff here. you know i wasn't actually planning to make an article today, because i feel like i will not be able to come up about anything. But sharing with you my struggle about the things I want to do is also a good content of my article. I should have thought about this sooner. Read cash is a cool place and also a safe place for me because no one knows me personally. So I can post whatever I want. I'm so glad i found this place. It feels like i found the secret hideout in the middle of the jungle, and now i am far away from predators and i can live a life of peace. Hehehe ****IMAGE SOURCES**** Train compartment https://pin.it/2JbOUWz Street at night https://pin.it/3SbMSnZ Annotated paper https://pin.it/sH4Yn4s Hideout https://pin.it/6xyxxVP Lead image https://pin.it/78PTfRl
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@joow
let's do all the good things this summer! if i am going to be super honest with myself, i still can’t believe that it’s finally my vacation! I have been waiting for this moment since january and now it’s finally here! So far, i’m enjoying this break because i can finally watch the shows i like nonstop and also read books nonstop too! my room is still a little messy, there are still traces of my school stuff and even crumple up papers under my be. I should probably start cleaning already, so that i can focus more on watching without the pending house chores bugging my head every hour. this vacation is so fun, even if i am just at home, i still find it very fun. Because aside from watching and reading, i will also be able to have more time playing with our dogs. I missed playing with them, and i bet they missed playing with me too. Our dogs love belly rubs, and I love rubbing their cute little bellies! they’re like living stuffed toys- noisy living stuffed toys. Speaking of stuffed toys, i remember that i have a lot of them hidden inside one of my cabinets. I hid them all there when i still had classes, because stuffed toys make me want to sleep all the time. And now that i have no more reasons to sleep for hours, i can finally bring them out again! Oh and also, i just remembered that i should go back to journaling this April. last month, i skipped journalling. As in for the entire month, I didn’t write even a single journal entry. Now i wonder, could this be a reason i was so moody and scatter minded that month? It’s possible since my mind only calms down when i sit down and assess the thoughts in my mind. I should take advantage of this summer vacation in making better things for myself. I’ve been all talk and no actions for the past months, and i am already embarrassed of myself. So, yeah, let’s grab the opportunity to make things good and better! And if possible, let’s make the best versions of ourselves! So what are the goals i have in mind? 1. Read books that will help me improve 2. watch shows that could teach me lessons 3. stay away from people who will pull you down These sound easy, don’t you think? Well, for me, this might become a challenge. But this doesn’t mean i’ll stop myself from trying! Challenges just mean a more enjoyable journey~ ***AUTHOR'S NOTE:*** Hello! I am going to be completely honest here, i forgot about my account here at read.cash hahahah! good thing that i remembere this a while ago TT I apologize for being inactive, but this coming days i am sure that i'll make it up to you guys! Thank you for the patience! ****PHOTO SOURCES**** girl reading abook https://pin.it/3qWrrGj Messy desk https://pin.it/w5cTP4U bed with journals https://pin.it/5ayyKeO lifting up books https://pin.it/2U9TlBB lead image https://pin.it/NHtPW1l
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@joow
Such a tiring day! But it's okay because vacation is near! Today has been such a busy day for me. I had exams, fought sleepiness, fought laziness, and even tried not to eat a lot. So much has happened, but it also feels so wrong to say that a lot happened. I woke up late this morning even if I have an exam to take. So, I was only left with 30 minutes to study before the exam. But i think it was okay that I woke up late since the exam wasn’t so complicated. It was full of essays that asked us to explain this and that. Half of the essays were objective and the other half was subjective. So I could say that it was easier than I expected. But maybe the exam would have been a breeze if i didn’t procrastinate with my studying. Maybe it would’ve been easier if i were a better student- someone who studies instead of watching anime. Anyway, the studying isn’t done yet! This evening, I will study for my other two exams for tomorrow. Tomorrow’s exam is going to be harder than the ones I took today. So I’m going to have to give my focus on studying tonight. Aside from my focus, I should really be serious about my studying for tomorrow. I cannot fail because if I do, then my vacation will pop like a bubble! I cannot let that happen, I’ve been looking forward to this vacation since January! And so, even if I don’t feel motivated to study yet, I’m still going to start reading. I will pick up my papers and pen and study! I will do this because they say that motivation will come when you start moving. It rarely happens that motivation comes before you move. Ah! Another reason to look forward to studying is to lose weight. I am not sure if reading will be helpful in losing weight, but i believe it’s still gonna use enough energy from me so that my brain could process well the information I read. i ate a lot a while ago so I am hoping that reading will help me get rid of what i ate, hehehe. Once i finish studying, I will reward myself by watching 3 episodes of one piece later! I am already at episode 31, halfway through season one and i already want to finish it! So better get going now, i will start my study session so that i can watch one piece earlier! If i am lucky, then i might be able to watch 4 episodes instead of just 3. hehehe **IMAGE SOURCES** busy lady https://pin.it/1L6qAU5 stock corner https://pin.it/1KzYlTz opening a book https://pin.it/2jQ9npt notebook with glasses https://pin.it/6nN2Due lead image https://annieme.com/2021/10/05/illness-info-essays-f%F0%9F%92%99ck-productivity/amp/
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@joow
The Comforting Thought of Living Alone ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Thre are times when I want to live with people forever. Share a house with them, be with them, talk and laugh and just live with them. But there are also these times when I do not want to be surrounded by anyone at all. Times when I want to live alone and far from people. I even ignore the fear of being faraway from civilization as long as I am away from people. That’s what I think about right now as I just sit under an enormous tree by the park. It’s summer, and so the wether pushed me to just wear a plain shirt and my comfiest pair of pants. I have my bag sitting on my lap to hide the rolls of fat on my belly. No one is walking around, but I still have the urge to hide it as long as I am out in public. That’s another reason I want to be away from people. I do not want them looking at me or at my belly fat. In my head, I know that it’s fine that people will see it. That I should just let them think whatever they want to think about. But, the thought that they’ll think about me scares me so much. What if they mock me in their heads or something? I don’t know. What matters is that I am scared. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ But I will not stand up. I’ll just stay here for a little more longer until the sun hurts my skin. I will just sit here for a while, admire the trees and the dried leaves that dance on the pavement. It’s a sunny day, it’s warm and bright. But not warm enough nor bright enough to chase away the storm in my head. The kind of storm that makes my hands feel cold, even the soles of my feet feel cold. The kind of storm that makes me feel nervous, and it is not fun at all. Maybe if I choose right now what to do with my life in the future, then maybe the storm will calm. Okay then, I choose to live alone. I’ll find a forest and build a cabin there and live alone. There will be no people around, my friends will be deers and rabbits and maybe even a bear- a bear whom I will train. Maybe birds will befriend me too. I’ll cook a delightful meal for all of us! And that will be very nice. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ And it worked. The thought of the cabin, of animals turning into my friends and the forest into my home. This wonderful thought it helped me feel better. The coldness is gone from my hands, and instead I now feel warm. I can feel the sun again. And my feet no longer feel like they will give up on me once I take a step forward to walk. Right now, it feels like my feet are up for an adventure instead. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ My feet make me want to go to the nearest forest and start imagining a life in it. But the warmth of the sun reminded me not to live in the nearest forest. I could visit it, but not live in it. I should go somewhere far away where I can walk and run barefoot and don’t have a care in the world. The warmth of the sun in my skin is like a promise that it will be there no matter where I go. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ *****AUTHOR'S NOTE:***** Hello! This post is a combination of a prose that's purely fiction and a bit of reality. The imagination part is me in the park, the rest is based in reality : p Thank you very much for giving it a read! **IMAGE SOURCES** dry leaves https://pin.it/7CJgpYY part of a big tree https://pin.it/V18HoYp backless https://pin.it/6USv9JP running away https://pin.it/3FB2QIe butterflies in a cave https://weheartit.com/entry/322897454 lead image https://www.artstation.com/artwork/d8wWZx
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@joow
It's crazy i let myself drown for you. I had to kick off my sandals so that I can run quicker towards the waters, closer to the crashing waves that seem so eerily black in the night. I ran barefoot, a shard of glass there, a pointed seashell here. I dodged them all, and then finally water meets skin. I laughed, panting and tucking my hair away from my face because finally, I am brave enough to face you. To dive into your mystery, to know what is love. They say that when people fall in love, they’ll do all sorts of crazy things. Even if they don't know how to sing, they'd still sing. They’d visit your house late at night, jump off a building with a parachute and a streamer saying they love you, and some go to the beach to let themselves drown. That’s me. I let myself drown for you, for love. You remind me of the ocean at night, of this specific night. The weather man said that there’d be a storm brewing in this part of the country. Near my village. You remind me of an angry ocean, cold and harsh and a killer. You’re angry and cold and you kill me every time you don’t look in my direction. You are cold when you just stared at the chocolates I left on your desk- you didn’t even touch it. And you’re harsh. You yelled at me yesterday and told me to stop pestering you. To leave you alone and let you be. And then you walked away. You’re like the beach toning, cold and harsh and a killer… and just like a wave, you retreat and then come crashing back at me. I can’t say that you’re a wave though. because you just left and never turned to look at me again. But I’d like to think that this wave towering over me is you. I want to be killed by you. I want to drown in you. The ocean swallowed me whole and I couldn’t move my arms or legs, my lungs are burning and this is crazy because I am willing to drown for you. Just to feel you, to let your coldness be all over me until I could pretend the ocean is you. If I don’t swim back up, if I don’t fight my will to die entangled with your harsh waters, then maybe tomorrow the news will show my floating body. The headline will call me a lazy lady, show my corpse smiling and arms angled for a hug. They’d know I died as one of the people who did crazy things for love. They’d call me crazy, because I let myself drown for you. ***AUTHOR'S NOTE:*** I am back with another prose! Some might ask, "are you in love and sad?" hehe the answer is no. I just wrote this prose with the help of the images used as my prompt! I enjoy writing this way, and I hoped you liked reading it too! **IMAGE SOURCES** girl hugging self https://pin.it/3BUiz5c beach at night https://pin.it/1fWtIhF hand underwater https://pin.it/4HoTGEG walking at beach https://pin.it/2zR9JoN lead image https://wifflegif.com/tags/38701-anime-girl-gifs?page=16
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@joow
A Childhood Moment Worth To Be Cherished I have this special memory when I was still a child. Our neighborhood only comprises 6 families, so we are a small community. Out of 6, only 2 of our neighbors owned dogs, and their dogs know everyone and they are always out roaming and playing. And I liked it, that those dogs weren’t put in cages or leashed in pace. Because if they were, then I wouldn’t have had such a fun childhood! My family didn’t have dogs back ten, but our neighbor’s dogs were like a pet us back then. We would always play with them by the grass, feed them bread and chicken, and even give them a little bath. Those dogs were like the whole neighborhood’s dogs. All of us love them. I remember that one of them is called Potchi, and they named the other Tuta ja. they are very nice dogs, and friendly too! When potchi gave birth, she would always stop by in front of our house, her tail wagging as she barked excitedly. My mom told us not to go near her, because dogs who have just given birth are aggressive. But not potchi, at least not to us. She would lead us to her puppies, look up at us proudly as if telling us, “I made those!” Potchi’s given birth 3 times, and during all those times, there’d be lots of puppies she would introduce to us. Sadly though, the puppies don’t get to stay around because they are sold to other people. But that’s okay, at least those people who got the puppies will experience the joy of having a dog! And then there’s Tuta Ja. He is Potchi’s husband. He is a sweet dog! Every time he sees us, he would immediately lay on his back and show us his tummy- he likes belly rubs! And just like Potchi, they both like roasted chicken. Oh, and boiled eggs too! Those two will accompany me to the nearby store, they will accompany me when I’ll go wait for a tricycle to ride to school, and they accompany me whenever i just sit outside, eating squash seeds. I really miss them. It’s been almost 5 years since they were taken away. They were not kidnapped! It’s just that our old neighbor moved to another place and of course they had to take the dogs. But that’s fine. What matters is that the dogs are happy at their new place, and that they left us with happy memories to dream about from time to time. ***AUTHOR'S NOTE:*** Ah yes, hello! I am now back to posting articles more! My vacation is near, my finals is near, and I have plenty of spare time to write articles. So, did you have a memory about your dogs as well? I would love to read them! **IMAGE SOURCES** GIRL WITH GOLDEN RETRIVER https://vegnews.com/2017/11/4-incredible-ways-animals-can-help-your-child-in-need TWO DOGS PLAYING https://www.123rf.com/photo_68892018_illustration-vector-two-dogs-fighting.html KID PLAYING WITH DOGS https://www.petbutler.com/blog-kids-pet-safety-teaching-kids-interact-petskids-pet-safety-interact-with-pets/ GROUP OF DOGS https://www.freepik.com/free-photos-vectors/dog LEAD IMAGE https://tenor.com/view/anime-running-boys-dog-doggo-kaze-ga-tsuyoku-fuiteiru-gif-13072116
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@joow
what happened to my week? I think a mental block or writer’s block is not a thing? I mean, not fully, at least in my case. Because, I may not be able to write something about a certain topic, but i could definitely write about something else. Like, my current status of not being able to think of a story to write! i could also talk about the remaining two weeks of my classes before the exams and finally a 2-month vacation. This, I think this is a pleasant topic to talk about. Okay, so let’s start with the fact that I procrastinated on doing module summaries, and that I haven’t started recording myself for the mini vlog project I have for my Mandarin subject. That project is due next week on the 24th and I have like, 6 days left. I also have to pass a compilation of modules for that subject. Wow — i am swimming on tasks to do. This is so irresponsible of me, TT. Oh well, aside from that, I also have to answer 4 modules for language and gender, and 4 more modules for Pragmatics. So, 8 in total. And then, I also have to read notes and modules for the other subjects I have no problems with so that i can be prepared for any upcoming tasks. Wow, now that I am writing things down, I am seeing just now how much trouble I got myself into. Well, not trouble, but it would be troubling if I let more things to accumulate. Oh, aside from academic stuff, i am also worried about my life here at read cash. imagine, it’s been a week since the last time I posted here! and during that entire week i was away, i was busy trying to get my life back together. And while I did that, I was also procrastinating. That is such a strange way to multitask, don’t you think? This week is too chill. It isn’t meant to be chill. It’s supposed to be full of tasks, and writings and readings and practicing how to write an essay! But, I did nothing but read fictions and download more fiction and then binge watch movies. I even watched someone do a camping on a rainy night. She was with a stray cat the whole night; it was cute! Oh, and speaking of binge watching, I also did another binge activity. I… continued to do binge eating. I can’t seem to stop myself? I keep eating and eating and as a result, i kept growing and growing as well! Isn’t that kind of stressful? I have problems in my academics, in my writing life, health life, and even at the game I am playing, I have a problem. It’s bad, but i think it’s good that I finally wrote an article sharing my struggles. Because of this, i could look at the bigger picture and see what mess Iput myself in. Wow! I should probably start workingif I don’t want to scream in frustration in the coming week. If you reached it here, I would like to say thank you for reading this article (rant) of mine. I’m not going to tell you what my next article is going to be about, but it’ll probably revolve around one of my struggles. Maybe about weight loss? Or maybe lack of focus? Short attention span? I am not sure yet. But i will surely come back here soon! Have a blessed day everybody! IMAGE SOURCES Frustrated https://pin.it/5ETd9w7 pile of work https://pin.it/4E5Uxfk Drowning in phone https://pin.it/5JFShiU surrounded with problems https://pin.it/5NkHchb relax https://pin.it/712jScB lead image https://pin.it/5POjCan
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@joow
Ah, it's been almost a week since my last article. I apologize for the lack of activity,I want to make an article but final exams are taking all of my attention! Next week, is the beginning of my finals so I really have to study well this week. Hm, maybe I can write an article about my preparation? I hope I'll find time to do so TT