The Sun, The Moon, and The Stupid Me.
I lay in bed at nights and hope that the moon will talk to the sun, say goodbye for me, because I do not want to wake up anymore. But the next day, I still open my eyes and there's still air in my lungs. I am still alive.
Everyday, I have to go through that stairwell and see outside of the building waking up along with me. The sunlight would let me see the floating dusts, and ghosts of you.
And that is why I do not want to wake up. Because the sun is mocking me, teasing me maybe, that you could come back. The sun knows you won't, the sun knows where you are… somewhere I don't know.
Now, the sun makes me wonder, makes me think of things again. How did you run away? How were you able to escape, and why didn't you take me with you?
Did you take that white car we stole from your dad? That white car which brought us to an old apartment complex, which helped us escape? Did you use it to escape from me too? How were you able to get on that thing, and not look at the mirror and get reminded of me?
I'm thinkig that maybe your memory of me in your head isn't as strong as I thought it would be. How are you gonna be able to leave me if I'm all that you think of anyway? But you left, so my hold on you is probably not that strong. Maybe it was too loose that you got to wiggle out of my grip, take the keys silently from the hook on the wall, and drive off.
I don't even know if you kissed me in my sleep before you ran. But probably not, because you didn't even cook me breakfast to make me believe, to at least try to make me believe that you'll come back.
You made everything so blatant, so obvious, and yet here I am thinking and hoping just a little bit that you'll come back. That there's gonna be a knock on my door, and you'll be there holding grocery bags. And I would believe you if you tell me that the line just took a month to finally finish.
But not even a lie or a badly made story of getting lost came to me. I was left in that building, in that old ugly structure when I could be somewhere better. I was thinking that maybe I'll have to wait for a bit more. But I've been telling that to myself ever since you turned your back from me.
Maybe the sun still shines because it wants to make me see omething else. Maybe, it wants me to go along with it, have a new day, stop being stuck in the past, stop thinking of the night and of the dark and of abandonment.
Maybe the sun wasn't mocking me at all. Maybe it was showing me a way out of my misery, away from you, and towards somewhere new. Start all over again.
ENDING THOUGHTS: This is just a random prose that i thought of making. It sucks to be left behind; I haven't experienced it in a romantic sense, but i think it would hurt as much as being left behind by any one you love. I hope none of us will be abandoned : )
PREVIOUS ARTICLES
https://read.cash/@joow/an-early-morning-and-sleepy-thought-f32ef1f1
https://read.cash/@joow/either-you-stop-chilling-or-you-fail-choose-a9e09376
https://read.cash/@joow/it-might-sound-repetitive-but-i-want-it-d2da8ae1
https://read.cash/@joow/have-you-reached-a-destination-now-6d6a448a
IMAGE SOURCES
staircase
https://pin.it/29bkuPh
car
https://pin.it/2iL2Nfx
buildings
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lead image
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