the little things for big smiles
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
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I want to take myself out on a date. Buy flowers to decorate my home; a vase in the kitchen, I'll place it on the counter where I cook. Another vase in the living room, by the window where I always take a seat. And the last one in my room, by my bedside table, so it's going to be flowers which I will see in the morning.
I want to buy myself flowers because no one buys it for me. I could plant plenty in my backyard, but I don't want to wait for a long time before I get to cut pretty stems. Oh wait, I can plant flowers and then buy fresh ones while I wait for them to bloom! That would be beautiful!
Imagine my house full of flowers that sadness will no longer have the space to fit into. Ah yes, I'd like a house full of flowers. Because flowers make everything so much better!
And I would also want to buy myself plenty of vinyls, the old ones. The ones that only a very small number of people in my generation knows about.
If I can't physically travel through time, then I'll just use CDs, I'll listen to them on repeat until I'll feel the air change, until I can fool myself into thinking I'm in a different time and space.
I may not have a man to dance with me, to hold my hand or waist and sway me to the music, but I'll have myself. I can dance on my own; at day, noon, and night I shall dance! Dance til my feet hurt, til I i feel dizzy spinning in my living room.
And then I'll buy myself food after all the dancing. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant— a cake will do! I'll pick the one with so many strawberries and overflowing syrup. The one that would taste so sweet that it could make my blood sticky with sugar.
And when I'll buy a cake, I will make sure that it's not going to be the small one. I'm going to get a big cake for myself! I'll get myself something as big as a birthday cake so I can be happy all throughout the day. And no one will stop me.
My mom cannot stop me, because she doesn't live with me anymore. My dad cannot stop me because he lives with my mom, and they take care of cows and sheep. And a friend or a lover won't tell me to just take a smaller one, because I have neither a friend or a lover.
I will do so many things that I love, things that make me feel loved and things that make me feel alive and thriving in my own skin and house.
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This is only a work of fiction!
Hello! I didn't get to post for almost a week. It's because I felt a little drained, and when I'm drained I procrastinate and think that my writing skills are bad and dumb. When I am drained I think that my works don't deserve to see the light of the day and so I don't write. It's kind of silly, but it's what I feel.
Today I feel the same, but I still pushed myself to write. And this is about the simple things I want to do to make myself happy. It's fiction because I can't do those things in my current situation. But hopefully, I'll be able to do them someday!
ps. Does my writing suck?
Images are from Pinterestㅤㅤㅤ
