“Grandparents are the best kind of grownups.”
There's no doubt that grandparents are awesome. When you were a kid, they were most likely the people you went to for an endless amount of love and to be totally spoiled. They gave you candy and let you get away with so much more than your parents would. They are also the wise ones you go to for advice, since they've seen so much more of the world than you.
A lot of people have shared how they were loved by their grandparents, talking about how their grandparents would gave them everything that they asked even though their parents won't agree to it, or how their grandparents would give them money secretly. Well, I guess, all those things are true if I'm just going to take my in-laws as an example. My in-laws adores their grandchildren. They always make sure that they would buy something for them every time that they would go out, they would often buy them stuffs that they don't really need. They would also tolerate them and defend them from us every time that we would scold them, though I don't really like it since it could become a habit. I can really feel their love as grandparents. How I wish I was able to experience that kind of love.
Growing up, all I ever felt from my grandparents on my mother side was annoyance. I never felt any affection from them towards us. All those years that we have stayed with them, I can't even remember a time where they have kissed us or just even hugged us. All I have felt from them was annoyance. I felt like they never cared for us even just a little bit. I just remembered, I didn't even saw them smile at us. Most of the time, they would glare at us, or worst, yell at us. The only time that they would treat us nice would be if my father is around which would only last for 5days, since that's the longest vacation they had.
At first I thought, they are just like that since I would sometimes see them scolding one of my cousin who would visit them so I tried to be more understanding towards them but I guess I was wrong.
One time, my cousins from Ilocos (we were still in Leyte during this time) came to spend their vacation with us. I never saw them smiled brightly not until that day. I felt slight pain in my heart but I disregarded it, because I thought that they were just being extra nice since it's their first time visiting them. But after a few days, it had become obvious to me the fact that our grandparents never liked us. They were being extra attentive to them but they would still yell at us in front of them. My cousin even asked me one time if our grandparents don't like us since they are treating us differently. I felt hurt because of that, and I don't know what answer I gave her. I was jealous every time they would hugged and kissed them. Everytime they would asked them what they would like for lunch or dinner or snack, which we never experienced. As days passed, when it was time for my cousins to go back, I saw them cry. It was painful seeing them like that, knowing that I would never see them that way to us. That day, the pain that I felt caused me to hate them. I know it was not right but I can't stop the hatred growing inside me. The feeling of being unfair and being mistreated created that hate for them that up until now I can still feel the hate. They both died a couple of years already but I never felt any sadness in my heart.
I never felt personaly the love of my grandparents on my father's side since my grandfather died when my father was still young while my grandmother died due to cancer a few years before we moved to Ilocos. But I can still remember when my father would told us how proud she was when she learned that she finally had granddaughters since my cousins on my father's side were all boys. According to my father, she would tell all her amigas about us and would show our picture to everyone. It could have been great if I was able to meet her. Maybe, she could have filled the gap that was caused by my other grandparents.
I can't help but felt jealous every time a friend or someone I know would post on social media about the love their getting from their grandparents, that I would sometimes pray to meet my other grandmother, even just in my dreams. I want to feel the grandparents 'tender loving care',although it's unrealistic but I still would like that to happen.
