Of Life and Regrets

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Avatar for jekai_88
3 years ago

Something you need most might be something you turn away from, something you turn away from might be something you regret, and something you regret, in the end, might cost you the one chance you ever had.     

-Brian Judge

I got pregnant and got married at an early age of 21, a few months after I passed my board exam. It was unexpected. I was disappointed in myself then. I had lots of plans for me and my family. I even planned to have an abortion but I was afraid. My fear in God was bigger than what I was thinking. And I know that making another mistake couldn't solve the first one. So, me and my boyfriend took the responsibility for the mistake that we made.

It was difficult at first since I was unprepared and my family doesn't approve my husband. But they don't have a choice, I can't have a child without getting married, its against our code of ethics as a teacher.

Life was difficult, me teaching in a private school with just a small salary and my husband as a construction worker. I wanted to ask for help from my family but I can't. I was supposed to go back to my hometown but I didn't go. I was supposed to teach there but I didn't. Wrong decision.

Marriage life was difficult. Me and my husband would always fight over small things. And then, he cheated on me. I wanted to leave him but I can't. I don't want my child to jave a broken family like me, so I stayed. Wrong decision. Again.

I stopped working as a teacher, and decided to work as a call center agent. It was difficult at first, leaving my 1year old child then. But for the sake of giving her a better life I have to. And then my husband decided to worked abroad. So I stopped working, and took care of our child. And then,he cheated on me again, with the same girl. It was painful, but I have to fight for my child so I stayed though it hurts. Another wrong decision.

He finished his contract and came home. Then, I got pregnant with our second child,and guess what? He cheated on me again for the 3rd time, and yes, it's the same girl. I feel like being played on. I want to give up but he pleaded so I once again forgave him. Wrong decision still.

Since I made that mistake and made that first wrong decision, I felt like my life is starting to become a big joke. Do I feel any regrets? I do! Million regrets is what I have right now. A lot of what ifs and maybes. I would sometimes imagine myself being in a different situation, thinking what might have happened if I did not do this, I did not do that. What could have life been if none of those happened. But, one thing I know I will never regret, giving birth to my two lovely daughters.

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3 years ago

Comments

Your story is very sad, but the woman after becoming a mother thinks more about her children's lives, before herself. Maybe that's why some woman compromises again and again, but the man must also understand this

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3 years ago

It is very sad indeed, but I need to be strong, though sometimes I really wish to be dead. LOL

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3 years ago

No, my dear, don't go to despair but try to strengthen yourself by thinking of prosperity. just think about your children. Your children need you desperately. Lead yourself to happiness for them.

God bless you Always

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3 years ago

Thanks dearie.. I'll keep that always in mind. 😇😇

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3 years ago

Thats like a good friend. :):)

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3 years ago