I don't Spare Enough Time for Myself

There are many areas where I spend most of my time during the day when I consider my family, friends, work, and phone applications. Doesn't it happen to you either, at the end of the day, when you go to bed, you suddenly think of that book you forgot to buy, the sport you promised yourself but still could not do? One day, a week, you know, a month has passed, but you just couldn't do it. Maybe there was a decision you made at New Year's Eve that you were keen to make, but February is over, you haven't even started yet.

Whether it's a New Year's decision, a daily wish or a need, we often throw our own needs into the second or even the third plan. Days and months pass when I say “I have to finish this first, then I do”. And by delaying our requests, we find ourselves blaming others for unhappy or things we didn't do after a while. I couldn't because everyone at home expects something from me. I couldn't because I was overtime. I couldn't because I didn't understand how time passed while watching the TV series.

Because the list of ours goes on and on like this. Sometimes these can be real causes. But let's be realistic; Do we see what we need as our priority? Or do we ignore our own and then use excuses while trying to help others' needs?

When we look at the situation of ignoring, we can see that we are often unaware of our own sensations. While we cannot listen to our needs during the day, the reason that comes to our minds when we lie down is a little bit because of this. That is to say, we only realize how we are in bed and can listen to the sensations in our body. Some people may not even experience this.

I also blamed something for a long time. It took me years to see that the reason I couldn't do it was because of me. A period when I was unhappy and I couldn't understand why, when I started researching the reasons, I saw that I was always giving out my energy. My article in which I described my period in detail: Can your life energy travel freely in your body? I was not creating space for myself to feel my own needs. After realizing this, I gradually began to create intervals during the day where I spent time on my own in order to understand my own desires. Sometimes this was a cup of coffee I sat quietly, writing a diary, meditating, doing yoga (especially yin yoga), and sometimes sitting for five minutes doing nothing.

While the spaces I have created over the years have varied, they all have helped me see what I think, feel, want and need. The meditation practices I have been doing for the last seven months have also strengthened the space I opened for myself and accelerated my understanding of my own needs.

Although I am doing something else as I sense these needs simultaneously, I also fulfill my own wishes. Because I know that if I don't do it, it will have a negative impact on my current job.

These requests are sometimes a simple thing like rest, taking a short walk, eating dessert, sometimes not immediately returning to messages; sometimes it can be a more complicated situation such as practicing yoga or changing the nutritional routine. But the common result for all of them is that when I went to bed at the end of the day, look what I would do today I didn't do it again; I could not spare time for myself again because of this. I am not actually saying no to others unless I ignore my own wishes; I just started saying yes to myself.

You can also say yes to yourself by creating small spaces to hear your wishes and needs and listen to your emotions. Life is too short to be unhappy and to hold others responsible for it!

Let's see what kind of needs you have, waiting to be heard by yourself, will come to the surface? How would you like to start by saying yes to that thing that has been in your mind for a long time?