Things not to say to someone struggling with anxiety

Anxiety is one of the most common mental disorders in the world today. In fact, according to a 2014 study in the UK, one in five people suffer from anxiety. Moreover, many people who suffer from anxiety do not know how to deal with it. The first place people with anxiety often turn to is their friends. This being the case, the relatives of the person suffering from anxiety have as much to do as the person struggling with anxiety. Some of the things we say with good intentions can sometimes be things that should not be said to someone struggling with anxiety...

Anxiety can upset a person's whole body and mind. When we see someone in such a state, we try to help them with words like "Get a grip, why are you in this state, what's wrong?". But none of this works. Not being able to help your loved ones when they are struggling with something and feeling helpless prevents you from thinking in a healthy way. While all you want is for your loved one to be well and feel good, sometimes we can make the situation worse.

This is what usually happens to someone who is trying to fight anxiety.

What you're stressing about won't be there in a year. This may be true most of the time, but telling someone struggling with anxiety that the worst-case scenario won't happen is not very reassuring. More importantly, someone with anxiety feels as if they are dealing with catastrophes. You cannot explain it to that person in a rational way.

A person in a state of panic needs validation, not rational thought. He needs confirmation that life is very short, that bad things can happen, that it is normal to be afraid. At the same time, he needs to hear that he is safe. Whatever is causing the anxiety feels like the biggest, scariest, worst thing in life.

Life is too short to worry. Yes, life is too short and we all want to live it to the fullest. But saying this to someone struggling with anxiety makes them more anxious and more likely to worry about the brevity of life. Knowing that life could be lived more fully only brings pain to a person struggling with anxiety.

Calming down can be a goal, not a step towards action. When we panic, what we all want is to calm down. But if you tell someone in a panic to calm down, it can send them into more panic. When you want to calm someone who is struggling with anxiety, instead of telling them to calm down, do things to help them calm down. Hold their hands, make them take deeper breaths. When they calm down, tell them how they calmed down.

This is actually not that important. Whatever is causing anxiety feels like the biggest, scariest, worst thing in life. You cannot turn this feeling on and off with a switch. In this way, when you say to someone struggling with anxiety that it's not that big of a deal, the other person will take it as you are exaggerating. Instead, you can try saying, "I know it's difficult and scary, but you're not alone, I'm here to help. You may be interested in: Anxiety disorders and phobias

Letting go of anger, resentments, fears, the past and whatever is preventing you from being happy and loving the present moment is a very healthy attitude. However, this is not a decision to be taken at once, but something to be practiced and learned over time. When you see someone in a panic, you should remind them not to let it go, but that it is normal to have these fears and that there are people around them who love them.