Talk to Him Again

How I wish I can laugh with him, and of course, talk to him again. As he is on his way to recovery, I am positive and excited to see my father. I just finished all the things that needs to get done that week, and we're going to Manila to visit him on Saturday.

Friday came, and all I can do is prepare my things for Saturday. I slept early that night so I'll wake up early. At 11:30pm, someone knocked on my door waking me up. I was told that we will rush to Manila that night because my father is in critical condition. Being just awakened, I was shocked and I don't know how to react. But I just rushed my things and wait for my brother to come by on his car.

The whole trip, I want to cry. Everything is negative on my mind. We lost our mother less than four years prior, then the likelihood of our father going next is high. There are minimal tears but it just won't flow. I'm trying to process in my mind what will our life be without him. It's extremely difficult.

In less than 3 hours, we reached the hospital. Normally, the travel is around 4 or even 5 hours. My brother just speed it up because he doesn't want to fall asleep. He's been stressed traveling back and forth, Pangasinan to Manila and vice versa.

We are shocked that there's no private room for us who will watch over our father. When my father was transferred to the ICU, the heartless faculty and nurses told my brothers to vacate the room immediately. My brothers are still in a shock but those nurses are rushing them to leave the private room which we are going to pay. Good thing my cousins are there to help my brothers out, and rebuked the nurses for their bad treatment to the patient's family.

My father was operated and confined in a semi-private hospital which is quite huge. He had tried to canvass from St. Luke's but the cost is pretty high, maybe Php 1 million or more. Gladly, they found the doctor who's a brother in faith in the semi-private hospital to fix everything. However, the hospital staff isn't just caring.

The hospital management forbids bringing in our own pillows, blankets, or even food. We should buy and eat from the foods in their canteen which are expensive and boring to eat.

We gonna use their own blanket and pillows, and we have to rent them. Since we don't have room to stay in, my sister went along with my cousins to sleep, while I am with my brothers outside the ICU, and sleep in the very small bed for watchers located in the hallways. Yes, what a pity for each patient's family bear with such situation. My older brothers slept in the car, and me and my other brother slept in the bed (same like a sofa with no back rest) which is around a feet and a half wide, and one and a half meter long, with both of our knees bent. Our situation is almost the same with homeless people.

It was very cold in the hallway. The air conditioner is centralized. But that's better than without it. We don't have to bear from heat. Still, the temperature seems very low that I was covered with jacket, pants, and even socks.

In the hallway are many families of patients serving as watchers. They're bearing with the situation just to keep their family members alive.

I didn't go inside the ICU yet at that time because I don't want to see my father in his state at that time. There are tubes and apparatuses being installed in his body including a dialysis machine. I am not ready to see him, and even I wanted to talk to him again, but he can't. He's been asleep since he was brought to the ICU. The respirator tube was also in his mouth.

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Pictures used are from Pixabay