Lessons I've Learned From My 8-Year Relationship

9 years ago, I couldn't even think of getting into a serious committed relationship. I was known for being that girl who entertains, but never guarantees.

Who would've thought I'd be in an eight year relationship with my bestie? I can be comfortable and get butterflies in my stomach at the same time.

What so special with our relationship? Nothing. Just love and its ups and downs for 8 years. Our relationship isn't perfect. It's not a fairytale.

It's funny how much I've changed over the years. So, here I am, sharing with y'all some of the lessons I've learned from my 8-year relationship.

You have your own worlds.

It's not all about you. It's not all about him. Don't be so obsessed.
Before entering the relationship, you two were different individuals, with friends, family, hobbies and dreams. Respect all of them. Just because you entered the relationship doesn't mean you own the other person. They have their own life too. Be glad you're a part of it.

It's compromise that moves us along.

Being in an-eight year relationship, I realized not everything works out the way I want it to be. I'm keen and very competitive and I've learned this lesson the hard way.

Growing up, almost everything is in favor of me. I'm not a spoiled brat but I know my privileges but I don't take them for granted (they say it's because of my looks lol! maybe I'll share more of this next time). Being in a relationship made it a bit difficult for me to give in and give way of the things I enjoyed when I was single, but hey, I don't regret them. Being with the right person makes everything amazing and special!

Sometimes I lose. Most of the time, I win. Hahahaha! That's my rule. Lol. But kidding aside, there were times I thought I'm the right one but after having some thought, I realized my mistake so I apologize.

We talk about what's wrong, we compromise - we don't run away. In the long run, this is beneficial. No grudges. Just love.

Support and be supported.

I can't stress this enough. Make sure you support your partner and you're being supported as well.

Self - growth is really one of my non-negotiables. Both parties must grow. If I'm the one who hinders my partner's growth, I must give way and vice versa. The process might hurt but its for the better. Aside from the fact that I don't want to be blamed of being a hindrance, I want my partner to be happy, genuinely.

Build your foundation.

Start the relationship with a friendship. I'd be bias with this one because we started out as friends from high school. This foundation made our relationship really strong because we both know we flourished together in all aspects in life. When you're friends from the very start, you turn to them whatever happens. As a result, we all know our each other's darkest secrets and family secrets too! Haha

Of course, make God the center of your relationship.

Communication is not the key.

I beg to disagree that communication is the key for a long lasting relationship. It is not. Understanding and putting boundaries are.

Saying 'I love you's' and 'I miss you's' will not make the relationship work. Updating each other that you're busy with life will not make it work either. But hey, they're form of communication. That's why it's not the key. Eventually, those sweet words and updating each other's where abouts will become annoying. So what if you text your partner? So what if you updated them about your day? They will not make the relationship last if you can't understand your partner.

If she said she's busy and you keep on trying to have a conversation with her, it's not communication, it's forcing you and your partner to communicate when in fact, she's busy. Understand, accept and put boundaries. It will not harm the love you have for each other, I swear! It will make it more romantic.

Honor each other's love language.

It's important to know each other's love language. If you still don't know it, there are five love languages - words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch and receiving gifts.

If you keep giving them gifts every now and then but your partner's love language is spending quality time with you, it will not work. She may appreciate your effort but she will find that 'quality time' in the relationship. There will be miscommunications and absence of satisfaction.

Know your partner's love language and honor them.

Living with each other reveals something

They say, when you live with your partner, that's the time you'll know who they really are. And we did.

When we were in college, life became so much busy.
We have a 7am - 7pm schedule. It's still early to go home, right? No. My school is located in Manila, class dismissed by 7pm, I'd still be in a traffic jam until 9pm. I'll be home by 10pm. That's how our commute life was, so we decided to rent a room in a dormitory near our school.

Thanks to our parents, they trusted us. At first, my mom was hesitant because I can't do any household chore the right way. I have my own way of cleaning, washing the dishes, laundry and so on but she let me anyway.

I don't know if you can call it fate or destiny, but in this stage of our relationship, we discovered we fill each other's limitations. My partner doesn't know how to do the laundry but I love that chore so I'm the one who did it during our stay in the dormitory. I hate ironing and folding clothes but my partner loves doing that.

We had a lot discovery moments when we lived together. There's a time when I had dengue, I was admitted to the hospital and can't be with my partner in the dormitory. My partner stayed there without me. After a week or two, when I came back, I saw my things perfectly arranged in the corner of the room. My partner even made a little bookshelf just for me!

When we were both sick, with a fever and not feeling so well, my partner still did the chores. My partner just let me rest and did everything. Imagine! Felt guilty of just resting. I didn't know what I did in my past life, I am so grateful for my partner's life.

I've grown so much in this relationship and I'm still growing. In every conversation, argument, miscommunication, misunderstandings, is a chance for us to grow.

So when you're in a relationship, embrace them.

Relationship is just like a rollercoaster ride, full of ups and downs, make sure you don't lose yourself as you enjoy it.

These are just some of the lessons that made me look at life and relationships in a greater perspective, I hope by sharing them to you, you're looking at a new perspective too.

Thank y'all! 'Til my next update 🥰