Writer turned to speaker: from the back to the stage

13 September 2021

I was never the type to speak. I am the type to prefer to work at the back, the one behind the scene, the one running some errands. I would rather do all the works, the paperworks, all the activity permits than have a participation to be one of those who will stand on the stage and speak, or the one who will face the camera and speak.

I hate recitation, I don't like reporting, and I don't have any confidence at presenting. My thoughts are haywired. For some reason, I can speak so fluently at my mind, I can compose nice sentences on my mind but when I try to voice it out, different words will come out from my mouth. Unorganized thoughts that I don't even know if it's understandable.

That's why I prefer to work at the back, to be in charge with other things other than speaking. I don't have the courage. It's not obvious but I'm really shy. I prefer writing, I know I can write somehow, but speaking, oh, my knees are trembling.

Last week, I forgot the exact date but I'm sure it's just last week, one of my orgmate who happen to be one of the coordinators of our organization's first activity this semester messaged me and asked me to be one of the speakers for the said event.

And me, not having the word "no" on my vocabulary answered yes without even thinking. Or I did some thinking and I was really nervous but I just can't say no.

The event.

One thing that comforts me about the event is that this is not really a formal one. As you can see on the poster, this is just a kamustahan for the whole marketing section at our college but it's main purpose is to welcome and gave the freshmen an idea about what to expect on our course, our college, and for us to share some tips and experiences from the previous years of studying at the university.

This is actually not that big but I was just really nervous. Every block section from 2nd year, 3rd year and 4th year was asked to have a representative who will have a 10 minutes talk for the event to share their experiences to the freshmen student. And as the block president, we're the one to be the representative of our block since we have extra experience that we can share than the rest of the class.

In short, all of us who are speakers are all students and it's just a 10 minutes talk but the nervousness that I was feeling won't go away. As I've said, I am not really good at expressing my thoughts through speaking. But since I already said yes, then fine, let's get over it.

The event happened last September 11, Saturday. I was the 2nd speaker and the 1st speaker is from the 4th year, one of my Kuya whom I really look up to. He's wearing a formal attire and he even prepared his own powerpoint presentation, and I almost dig up the ground where I am that time so that I can hide when it's already my turn.

He left such great impact that I didn't know how to follow that. I mean, I'm just me, I don't even know what I am going to say.

But here comes my turn and unexpectedly, words just seem to come out naturally on my mouth. Surprisingly, I managed to speak so clearly, naturally and most importantly, though it's not that organized, it's understandable and the whole 10 minutes talk goes smoothly. I feel like I'm not breathing while speaking but thankfully, my nervousness is not that obvious in the video.

And by the way, did I tell you that the talk is at zoom cloud meetings and we are also steaming live of facebook so that's another factor that adds up to my nervousness. I am just so glad right now that I managed to pull it off.

This is another thing that I made me so proud of myself for I was able to go out of my comfort zone.

The support and the feedback I got from my orgmates, blockmates, participants and other speakers are just so encouraging.

I know I still lack in many ways and if you'll ask me now, I still don't like speaking. But what happened the last time was surely a great and unforgettable experience for me.

Not a big deal, really. Just a casual 10 minutes talk but still, I made it, I did it. I'm looking forward to facing more things that will make me go out of my comfort zone.

And hey to you that is reading this, there are times that we will be forced to go out of our comfort zone, it's scary, yes. But trust me, it is worth the experience, it is worth the try. Just try and be surprised on how you can be able to pull off that certain thing.

Thanks for reading this far. I really enjoyed writing this one, words come out naturally from my mind and my fingers seems to have life on its own that it just started typing all these words that you have read and are reading.

How about you? Are there instances that you was forced to go out of your comfort zone? Mind to share it on the comment section?

:)