what changed?

Most people, especially the youth wanted to grow up so fast. Well, not all, but there are really a lot of people who wants that without thinking how hard adulting can be. As for me, I never really wanted to grow up. Actually, if possible, I would gladly remain young forever. A youth full of energy and positivity. A youth who is carefree and without any worries. It might be nice to be like that, yeah?

But I guess, growth is something that we cannot stop and it's just like an unwanted visitor who will come uninvited without you knowing or realizing it.

For quite a while now, I have been trying to go back at writing and I can't seem to know how or where to start. Writing is something that was so easy for me before since this has become my outlet to clear my head by letting go of my overflowing thoughts but I am really having a hard time right now to let all these thoughts go. So I wonder what changed?

To get some inspirations on how I can write again, I tried re-reading all my previous works wherein I think I did a great job delivering the message which I wanted to tell and that just feels so nostalgic and at the same time, that made me question too what really has changed.

Going back to my old posts, it reminded me of how positive of a person I am and how creative my mind is for being able to relate simple things or situations into something that can be encouraging.

Meant to make mistakes was something I wrote after I accidentally wrote a wrong word on my reviewer. Imagine, I was just trying to review, then I wrote one word wrong, and then thoughts suddenly flows like a river about how we are meant to make mistakes, how we can learn from our mistakes, and how we should avoid making mistakes that we will regret in the long run.

The Last Piece Syndrome was something I was able to write after regretting why I didn't eat the last piece of pizza. I can't even imagine how I was able to relate that last piece of pizza into opportunities which we should grab.

And remember the Kdrama series Squid Game? I was also able to turn the desperation of the players in there into something motivational! Once again, where's that old self now?

I've been asking myself over and over again what changed and I have no other answer, theories rather, about what have changed aside from it is probably growth, adulting perhaps. Or that's just what I wanted to think? LOL. But deep inside, I know that my own laziness was partly responsible for making me stop writing for a while.

On my defense, I really think it's growth too. Because as we grow older, our responsibilities grow too and managing your time well over juggling all the stuffs you have to do would not be easy as we wanted it to be.

But then, after reading few motivational writings of mine, that somehow helped me too and without me knowing it, my own works became my own motivation. And if there's one thing that I realized after reflecting on my own words is that I don't have to rush everything. And just like before, I will write again to not let myself get drowned by these flooding thoughts of mine.

Just like how ideas naturally flow before, I will not force myself anymore to write something which my mind couldn't think of at the moment. When the time came wherein I will be able to relate a simple situation as something more again, then I won't let that opportunity go and I will write it out immediately.

For my final thoughts, I can't really answer myself exactly what changed for I don't know the answer for it either. But what I realized is that I don't need to know what it is, I guess, I just have to go with it because as I've said, change is inevitable. It is something that we cannot stop. I won't even try stopping it. What I will do is to go with it, embrace it, and see where this change will bring me.

For the record, I still really think that it is still me. My always positive self. The only difference is that I wasn't able to share it to others through writing just like before. Hopefully, may this be another start of being able to write something out of simple things again.

If you are still reading this up to this moment, welcome to my flooded thoughts! And thank you for even trying to understand this one even if I cannot understand it myself.

Consider this one a warm up before I can finally go back. This is just me letting my mind and my fingers work together and to be honest, letting all these thoughts out was really comforting.

I will definitely be back with a better content than this!

One last thing, this is not really related but since I am just letting my thoughts out, allow me to share this one. Did you know, before I started writing here, probably more or less than two years ago, I really don't have confidence and I feel like I am not talented. But this platform allows me to discover that I am not what I think I am. That just because I am not good at singing nor dancing doesn't mean that I am not talented. There are more talents than just singing or dancing and on my case, I believe I do have a gift in writing. So let's see on the following days on how I am going to use this gift.

I will be forever thankful and grateful for this platform.

Anyway, it's good to be back! Thanks for reaching this far. Let's all catch up on the comment section!

:))