Resolving Conflicts

Conflicts are so common nowadays. It may arise anytime and anywhere. It can start with small things and if not resolved, it can continue to become a bigger one.

Conflicts may arise if our expectations are not met. Conflict also happens when two or more people have a disagreement. It may happen from a lot of things and a lot of reasons. Conflict is everywhere.

In this article, let us learn more on truth about conflicts and let us seek for ways on how are we going to resolve it. Without further ado, let's begin.

Truths About Conflicts

1. The COMMONNESS of Conflict

Just like what I've said on my introduction, conflict is everywhere. Common factors why conflicts are arising is the disagreement between two parties and no one of them wants to back down because they believe that they are right and they want to prove their point. Stubbornness, really.

There are still a lot more reasons where conflict can start but I'll just leave it for you for ponder. To think of the current or previous conflicts you've witnessed or you've had with someone.

1. The CAUSES of Conflict

We usually have disagreement because of our differences. Specifically because of the differences in our personality. So let me share to you these 4 personality types sometimes the cause why we clash.

Actually, @Marts have already made an article about this, so feel free to visit his article to know more about this four temperaments. Though I am also planning to make my own version and tell you a different method on how to know what personality type you have.

For now, let's proceed to a brief description about these temperaments.

Choleric

• Decisive

• Insensitive

• Unemotional

• Tactless

Those who are choleric are great leaders, only that they are kind of dominant. But what made them a great leader is their strong personality. It's just that I find them aggressive most of the time. They do what they want to do and you can't get in the way. They are also insensitive so they say what they want to say without considering what others would feel.

Phlegmatic

• Peaceful

• Soft spoken

• Caring

• Gentle

They are really the soft types. The opposite of choleric. I really love these kinds of people but what I don't like about them sometimes is that they are a bit slow. Drop a joke then everyone will laugh while they are still processing what you have said. You are talking of a certain topic, then already move on to another but their minds is still thinking about your first topic. So if a choleric person encounter them, perhaps a leader who's choleric, and if the phlegmatic doesn't get what he's saying instantly, conflict may arise.

Sanguine

• enthusiastic

• funny

• insincere

I myself is a sanguine. The thing about this personality type is that they always want to be the center of attention, not in a negative way though. At least, not all the time. What I love with Sanguine is that they are overflowing with positivity. They are easy going and they always do things with enthusiasm. But some thinks that they are being insincere because they are not the serious kind of person for they take almost everything easy.

Melancholic

• perfectionist

• accurate

• critical

This one is the opposite of Sanguine and I am for some reason which I don't know, I am also Melancholic. They pay too much attention to details. Very organized and detail oriented. They are also the one who doesn't talk much but they always have an idea about things, they are just too reserve to voice it out. So it is more likely that they are good in writing because that's where they can express themselves.

1. The CURE for Conflict

Here are some of our possible reactions to conflict.

Retreat

• denial

• withdrawal

• suicide

This is actually quit good for I personally think it is a brave move to accept defeat but sadly, not everything can accept it. Yes, they can retreat, but not everyone will take it positively. And if worst comes to worst, it can even lead to suicide.

Reconciliation

• one-on-one

• overlook

• discuss

• negotiate

This is actually the best reaction that we should have when dealing with conflicts. Discussions are always better than arguments, because arguments is to find out WHO is right while discussion is to find out WHAT is right.

Fight

• lawsuit

• injure

• murder

This is like the worst outcome that conflicts can bring. It may reach the court, it can result to physical fight, and the worst thing of all, it can lead a person to commit murder.

Now that we know about the truths about conflicts, here are some principles to resolve it.

1. Personal Effort - People who are involved in conflict may talk privately. They have to acknowledge the conflict and have the initiative to resolve it. They can go directly to that person and talk in private. Speak the truth in love and make every effort that needs to be done so that they can lead to peace.

2. Plural Effort - Take witnesses. They can bring in a friend or a family member or someone that they are close with to listen to both sides and to put some sense into them. Sometimes, they just have to add another point of view so that they'll have clearer perspective on the matter which they have a disagreement.

3. Public Effort - This was the last resort where they can make others involve. Of course, not in a way that they will join the conflict. it's just like in the plural effort but the difference is that it should be someone that is not close to them. Because that person or people can bring in another perspective without bias. He can give his honest opinion and he can help both parties to settle.

There are still a lot more efforts that we could do about resolving conflicts but I just simplified it into these 3 efforts. And we can always resolve conflicts on our own way. Better solution I am seeing here is the discussion. Let's always open our hearts and minds to listen to others. Practice both empathy and sympathy. As much as possible, let us try our hardest to understand one another and let us all have the willingness to resolve the conflict and not make it worse. And if it so happen that we are the one in the wrong, let us be brave enough to accept our mistakes and never do it again. Also, we can be more braver if we lower our pride and try to settle with them despite knowing that we are right and they are wrong.

Conflicts may begin anywhere, we can't escape it, but know that we can always resolve it. We just need to find it in our heart the willingness to listen and to understand others.

Thank you for reading. May we all live in peace. :)