What is the right way to live?

Caution: Ahead is just jumbled thoughts and nonsensical ramblings... Skip if you are in a hurry :-)

To wake up each morning, brush one's teeth, take a bath, scrub the dirt away from the body, dress appropriately, wear the right shoes, and walk gracefully...

I am thinking, is such the ideal way to live one's life? If I repeatedly do such every single day, will I have lived a proper life?

Go to work, do one's job properly. Answer the telephone when it rings. Finish the papers. Make a report. Greet the boss. Greet the colleagues. Send what needs to be sent.

At the end of the day, we did our responsibilities. Is it the right way to live?

Perhaps, it is. Doing the right things at the right time to let the world see that we are sane. To not make anyone worry about us.

Then there's the concern for one's health... To not get sick. To try to adhere to healthy ways of living... Always trying not to go above the limit. Like with salt, sugar, or other condiments.

But what now? In the end are we happy?

I understand that an edged person doesn't have the time to think about all this.

And yours truly shouldn't even be in a position to talk about such things. If anything, I should be nailed to my desk, living the ideal life that I am saying.

• Doing one's responsibilities and obligations

• Caring for one's health

• Planning what to do for the next day

• Trying to be careful not to mess up

But I am here... Writing and all... Not living what I am describing here.

There was a time when I promised myself not to think about unnecessary things. That all I should do is try to get by for the next day.

I shouldn't sit relaxed in here. But maybe, this is a part of all of human life. Having time to think for oneself. To deliberate, and breath. And do responsibilities more responsibly than ever.

I ask myself how one should live. But I don't have a clear answer to my question. I try to reason out or philosophize. But I guess my knowledge is barely enough.

I sat down at the intersection yesterday. Viewing humans pass by. Not thinking of anything serious. When at last I breathed a sigh of relief.

I am glad I am neither too happy nor too sad. Just the right emotion to keep me in place.

For now, I will be a good girl. The usual good girl we know from way back. And I will be a good adult. Responsible, kind, patient, gentle.

Almost a year ago, I jumped down a dark pit. I wanted to evaporate and vanish. Yet I can't leave just like that. Just because I have a family to take care of.

Then I prayed so hard that I will be lifted from the pit. To get away from the dark. So I will just be able to live a modest life.

I was utterly bewildered by the harshness of reality. And so I promised myself to just be neutral when I get helped.

Thankfully, He let good people have mercy on me. I was helped. But now here I am thinking of things like this.

I guess I have to reevaluate my goals. There are a lot of contradictions going on inside.

What indeed is the right way to live? Or what are the important values?

Humility?

Kindness?

Patience?

Gentleness?

Gratefulness?

I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the above. I wish I could always be benevolent. But time and again I go back to my comfort zone.

If there is a right way to live, I guess it is too dazzling for me. I have to close my eyes a bit to lessen its blinding effect.

I have to wash my clothes. Patiently, painstakingly, I will do what I can while I can.

Or I am not believing my words...

Let me just go back to being carefree. Not to become irresponsible but to forget about worries and just focus always on the sunnier side.

Worry is a big blunder in attaining happiness in one's life. Why? It makes us depressed or sad and takes away the joy in what we are doing.

Worrying for a while is healthy but too much of worries are sickening. We should then strive to lead a life that is both carefree and responsible. And most of all, positive.

Photo from Unsplash

Thank you!