I did it! I did it! No one but me. It was me who did it! I did what I did and here I am suffering the consequences.
I know the consequences but I still did it. I was so bold to do it. Now I am suffering so much. Not only me but my family and friends.
I surrender my life to Him. He who has created everything. I will turn to Him and I will turn from my evil ways. So that I may be saved. This hell is so hard to bear.
I don't know anymore my way out of this. But whom shall I turn to? From whence comes my help?
I don't know where to go, I don't know of anyone who could out me of this. I only know Him. But my lessons are still to be learned.
I was so hard-headed. I was so arrogant, I was so bold, but I am the one suffering consequences.
I hate myself for being self-righteous. In the end I am the one at a loss, at a disadvantage. It is so shameful. It's very shameful. But this I must bear. For so long as life is with me so I can show how He will redeem me.
I am ashamed. I am so much ashamed. I keep crying for help but no one was coming. And I gave up and I forgot all about Him. He who has promised good things. For those who believe in Him and for those who obey Him.
Things do not work the way we wish it but His will will be done. That's how it should be. So now I am accepting all due punishment, I am accepting the consequences of what I have done.
I hope that the world will be a better place as the day goes by. This earth is not permanent, but still I wish everyone will turn to Him so that we will be able to uplift each other and make this place a better world.
I can't say more.
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I promise to always seek your wisdom and to turn from my arrogance and bad ways. You shall be glorified forever and ever.
Amen.
