Reality is but a dream

I am a bit shaky. I don't know what to write. I toggle my brain. But my heart is lonely. I try to be a poet, but my words fail me. And I can only write much as I can write.

I don't know the reason I put the picture above. Of course, credits to Unsplash.

I don't make an effort. To know why I am sad. I just sigh and hope for my body to make a comeback.

I lie to my soul. That reality is but a dream. You have today what you thought would be impossible. You lose what you thought you would never lose.

I dream of hermitage for the morrow. But I cannot be sure I would still be here tomorrow.

I run around once I find my world of solitude. I am looking for myself. I am looking. I keep looking. In the next moments, this world will be lost in sight. Hoping not forever.

And I look at my dirty laundry. It has put me back in the world that I keep losing.

I should be thankful. I should be grateful for my life.

Years ago I desired a certain world. But I entered the opposite. I cannot rest, I cannot do what I want. I can only do what I can.

Funny how I keep rejecting what is best for me. Now it is too late I can't go back. I can't undo what has already been done.

I have increased my liabilities while I lessened my space to breathe.

I keep doing what is not ideal for what I desire. Actually a need. Not just a desire. For who I really am I need a certain something. I need space. I need a world where no one cares because they care.

But it has already come to this. And I have to be reminded that reality is but a dream.

I should set aside all worries and I should keep living. I can just glide along the shore of the life I have. Looking atop my current world the ideal world that I wish to go to.

And I need not be bothered by the struggles. I always have the liberty I wanted. And I know what I mean. It is just that it is inexplicable.

I pray to the one above. He will heal me just because. He will love me just because. He will help me just because. I will ask for help because I am always in need.

I ask all the things I don't deserve. I am like a child who asks for grace despite my silliness. I am forever in His mercy and I will always be in His hands.

I imagine the years to come and I am wishful for a miracle to live longer.