Preparation in almost everything--a must for me

To not take things for granted is a resolution that has been crossing my mind every once in a while.

I told myself that it should not be a one-year goal or a two-year goal. It must be a lifelong practice. It should be integrated into my day-to-day activities.

However, as often as it crosses my mind, I keep forgetting the real deal. Implementing it in my life is a lot harder than I thought.

I sometimes let days pass losing the purpose of my existence. At times, I even drown in sadness forgetting my worth as a person.

Life is not easy. Or not. Or it is indeed hard. They say it is all in the mind. But I know that it is complicated as it is also very simple.

There will be times when the mind is willing but the body is weary. There will also be times when the body is in good condition yet the soul is too unwilling.

Yet there will be days when the person realizes what he or she must do. And in my case, I just have to plan things out. Every single thing if I can. I must. Else, I might just lose my mind.

I know in myself that I am not a random person. I always needed preparation for everything. I had to write things down.

• On the scrap papers, I have piled for myself to use.

• On the pieces of paper, I have cut way before then set aside. Instead of stick-it papers, I cut my 2x2 and then set them aside on the corner of my table.

• In the notebooks that I carry with me wherever I go except when my bag isn't needed.

I need time for deliberation. Even fantasizing so it serves as my guide when the time comes.

I don't feel happy right now. But I know that I should be beaming with delight. For the graces bestowed upon me. For the refuge. For all the good things.

And to be able to sort things out, I had to meditate and have time for thinking things out. I needed to sort my feelings. I needed to see what is making me unhappy as I am right now.

I just believe that life has so many good things to offer. In my case at least. I could see good things around me. And unpleasant things that I notice could be driven away.

I will plan to make my life better. I will not give up on my life. I will move forward. Even move on if I must.

Most of the time before, I throw the paper out that I have already used. This time, I will try to keep every schedule that I made. If not, I will log them to save on could not keeping paper clutters in my place.

Now that I am writing this, I know I won't be as sad as I am now tomorrow.

When I feel nostalgia, I take advantage of it. This is one of the times that I just feel like writing and I thought of writing this.

Indeed, I need preparation.

What will I wear tomorrow?

What will I do first tomorrow?

How will I execute what I had planned so far?

How much time should I spend drinking hot water in the morning?

What will I do to reduce the cost of the dress that I will wear? How will I combine my clothes to look better?

So much planning to do. And yes, contingency plans as well... Just in case, just in case.

I hope I will always remember this resolution. It is one of the most important strategies in my life.

Instead of complaining that I have nothing to wear, might just as well plan what I can wear in the following days.

The budget may be too tight but I can manage for as long as I will plan.

Instead of complaining about why I look the way I look, I should plan my exercise routine to be able to look fit and healthy.

If I were more honest with myself, I also want to look good in every picture that is taken. The only way to do so is by keeping in shape.